Tidy Husband

Eligible for the seniors discount and the Happy Meal deal at the same time.

  1. The Swiffle

    This morning she had an appointment to get a COVID vaccine.

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    The deal was: behave at the doctor’s and we’ll go get a donut after.

    At one point last night we were about to cancel as she looked really really pale, but she still said she wanted to go in the am.

    7:30am: Dad - get up. I need my shot.

    Okay then. We get ready and all the way there she’s fine and we’re talking about whatever in the car on the way - good as gold. Sunny with no clouds in the forecast.

    Still good into the Dr’s office even. This might be the one time we don’t have to hold her down and get kicked at.

    Then the nurse came out and called her name and that did it - the drama and the fake “I’m scared” came out and then when by the time she was in full uncooperative mode.

    The nurse, bless her heart - took the time to explain for probably the 100th today that the needle is like a little pinch but that this no good. Eventually, she hiked up her shirt, swiped her arm and gave her the stab.

    It was so over before she even knew what happened.

    And once it was? It was if it didn’t happen. That ten minutes of hell you put your old man through? - didn’t happen.

    Then the negotiation really started. The deal was that if she behaved she would get a donut. This is where it gets tricky in parentville:

    On one hand, it’s easy to argue that nope -you screamed and kicked - no donut.

    on the other hand, you have to give her credit to wanting to go. She may not like the actual event but until the moment came to be she was actually quite good and brave.

    The Verdict

    I went with bravery. Others may not have - but I wanted a donut too and she’s not going to ruin my fun. :) I figure she gets a reward for wanting to go and that getting there was half the battle.

    On the way home we decided that the word “shot” or “needle” for the vaccine is too scary and that from now on we are going to call it “the swiffle”.

    So that’s the deal for next year:

    Get the swiffle and get a donut - the same deal as this year but now with better branding. :)

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    Until Next Time, TH and Co.

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  2. The Hair Dryer

    We’re right at a crossroads here and I’m not sure what side of direction I like the most:

    holigil 27 nqhkse9hqae unsplash Photo by holigil 27 on Unsplash

    SIDE A

    On this side she’s still a little girl and sings “push me higher” on the swings as we both look up at the clouds and try and see if we can see anything in them.

    This is the side that talks to you as you’re her only friend in the entire world and coos at the small yellow butterflies as they dance around her.

    On the way home her small hand grabs mine and I can feel the warmth and I don’t want her to grow up.

    SIDE B

    Later that same evening she has dinner/dessert and then goes upstairs to shower. This is the norm and while she’s emptying the hot water she’s singing her heart out and playing with rubber ducks and the like.

    Usually, when she’s finally done it’s “Daddy, I’m cold. DADDY!” she screams thinking she can go from soaking wet to warm and dry in seconds. She thinks I am the answer.

    Not this night though. No pleas. No screaming. Lots of noise and bumping and thumping but then I hear it: the hair dryer.

    She is drying her own hair! And then: brushing her teeth and putting her PJ’s on. ALL of this happens without needing Daddy.

    Universe: please just give me a few more days of swings and holding warm hands watching the butterflies before they go away for good this time.

    I don’t think I’m ready for side B yet.

    Until Next Time,

    TH and Co.

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  3. The Run Was Fun

    She Ran.

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    and ran

    and ran

    and ran

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    until it looked like it hurt.

    The good news for all our sponsors: she ran the entire circuit, so to all her supporters a BIG THANK YOU for making this possible.

    You’re now good for another year.

    But, did I mention yesterday that she’s starting girl guides? The cookies are next.

    Until next time,

    TH and Co.

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  4. Compelling

    BW says my posts have not been “that compelling” lately.

    pxl 20261014 120510263 another boring photo on a boring day

    A few things:

    1. See that photo above? BW was still in bed while I was up this morning trying to get my sleepy and cranky charge to go from zero to school bus in 34 minutes. I am LIVING the compelling life every morning.

    2. This is my ball. I think it’s amazing that a few of you actually pay for this nonsense I send to your mailbox. If I want to write a short crappy 1 paragraph post at 11pm because that’s when I finally got around to it–that’s how this is going down.

    3. In the same vein as above: I do this to remember the mundane - like the 4 minutes this morning when I took this photo and we were early for the bus.

    Every day is not all that exciting here, and she should know that. This is the every day - not the NY Times best seller list. I’m not going viral, I’m writing about the viruses that come home from school.

    Anyway, rant over.

    Up next: Lllamas! One down, 2 to go. BW did a great job.

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    I still have mixed emotions about going to a house party dressed as a llama - but here I am. I am compelled to do so apparently 1

    You know you’re getting into big kid world when you’re starting to juggle activities and tonight we had two to go to in a row - with the important one being signing up to become a girl scout.

    BW already paid for this to happen so we thought would go and collect our brown vest, figure out where we’re going and then come home.

    But when we arrived we are told that there are not enough kids or leaders to have a troop and I don’t really know how all this works but I figured out that no troops mean tears really quick.

    We waited for a bit to see if any other kiddos or anybody showed up and there was one other little girl who arrived and they had no troops for her as well, so this was a bust all around.

    The child was really really looking forward to this only to find out once again that adults suck.

    I asked for alternatives and it turns out there’s a meeting across town that’s doable and she will be with girls of all ages instead of stuck with the younger ones if we had stayed hyper local - so in the end it all worked out

    The child is a girl scout. She was taught the pledge and came home with a badge. She’s in.

    Speaking of ends, this is it for today.

    Hope this post was compelling enough for you. :)

    PS> BW: this is what 8:01 am looks like in case you were wondering.

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    hair brushed, fed, teeth brushed and clothed and ready in 26 minutes start to finish.

    Until Next Time, TH and Co.

    1. translation: BW says I am going and that’s the end of it. ↩

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  5. Toothless Wonder

    It had to happen eventually

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    Sh lost her front baby tooth - it’s getting evicted by an adult model.

    She came home with her mouth closed and humming, and I didn’t think anything of it because she’s seven and weird. But then she told me to look in her book bag and there it was! The tooth.

    It came home in a small plastic pirates chest and once I got past the loose tooth thing, I began to think: somebody makes little holders for teeth that get lost? It’s a strange world sometimes.

    Anyway - no more tooth.

    I asked her how much the tooth fairy leaves under the pillow and she told me without missing a beat: “five bucks”

    Holy. Inflation is real.

    As I write this she’s upstairs in her sleeping bag again dreaming of tooth fairies and five bucks.

    Until tomorrow,

    TH and Co.

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