Tidy Husband

Eligible for the seniors discount and the Happy Meal deal at the same time.

  1. We're going to need a bigger basement

    At least today I knew what I was looking for.

    mathyas kurmann fb7ynpbt0l8 unsplash Photo by Mathyas Kurmann on Unsplash

    A mailbox.

    Yup, the child and I drove across town to pick up an mailbox. It’s white and has somebody’s house number on it.

    “I have plans for it. The child is going to love it, she said.

    And we were off to go get it.

    The child and I pull up to a very well kept home that was a small bungalow. As we walked hand in hand up the driveway the child says to me: “I don’t like little houses - they’re MEH to me”, she shrugged.

    NEWS FLASH: the Child has opinions

    Oh, the mailbox? BW has plans for this thing: NEXT SPRING.

    Where is it now? In the basement.

    Somebody’s basement lost a mailbox and ours gained a mailbox.

    The mailbox circle of life continues for another day…

    The child is very very very excited about the APEX running thing that they do for fundraising. Tomorrow the child gets to wear a HAT to school because they won some challenge - she’s excited about the win - she could care less about the hat thing.

    THIS IS WHERE YOU CAN SPONSOR HER>> CLICK HERE <<

    So far she’s raised $50 but she needs $350.00. No pressure or anything but:

    DON’T MISS OUT ON THIS OPPORTUNITY. OPERATORS ARE STANDING BY NOW.

    YOU KNOW WHAT TO DO.

    She is so so excited about running for 40 minutes straight. FORTY. Tonight she made a video for BW to post to Facebook to fund raise from friends and family because we may as well have Facebook be good for something at least.

    She washed her face, combed her hair, put on her APEX shirt and matching badge and then practiced the speech about 100 times.

    She’s put some effort into this - NOW IT’S YOUR TURN

    pxl 20261008 230716086 edit she’s so excited about this

    LAST CHANCE TO SPONSOR HER NOW. DON’T DELAY

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  2. The quest for free stuff

    I’m always going onto strangers front porches and taking stuff.

    pxl 20261007 213322097

    Today? I was going for some sauce apparently.

    Here’s how this all went down:

    It’s Wednesday so that means that it’s Ninja Class at 4:30 and during the short half an hour or so the child was home a lot happened

    First, that the child decided that she needed to make a fort of two Chewy boxes1 and one Amazon box and then she decided it was an office printer and she was inside the box spewing paper through the slot in the bottom of the box.

    While this was happening, BW was working hard2 from the sofa and she found that one of our neighbors was giving away FREE sauce.

    She texts me the address of this place that has a sauce surplus and the child and I are out the door to Ninja Class.

    Class is over and we’re off to get whatever it is on the front porch. Usually for this kind of Facebook trading the person with the stuff puts the stuff on the front porch and labels it.

    There were a few other things on there - somebody named Susan was getting a blender or something. So I park the car, tell the child I will be right back and go get whatever the heck it is. I’m not too worried because they usually label the thing

    Except this time. It’s been a minute so by now the child has determined that I need help so now there’s two of us standing on some strangers porch having a conversation about what stuff we should take?

    I text BW and no reply so she’s no help with this mystery.

    Finally, the owner comes out and wonders why we’ve been on her porch for the last 10 minutes. We explain that BW sent us to get something but we don’t know what that something is.

    The very nice lady set us straight and told us to take one sauce package and not the entire box.

    And I am supposed to know that how? All I had for info was an address and the child telling me it was “food” of some kind.

    I deduced that chances are with this information that the box with food would make the most sense and there was no label on the box like there was for Susan’s blender- so it was easy to get confused about what to take from somebody’s front porch.

    Next time -and there will be a next time - I will be more specific with the questions of what I am taking from somebody’s front porch

    OH! We almost made it climbing up the wall today:

    pxl 20261007 211057357

    Until Next Time,

    TH and Co.

    1. the dog gets to eat for a few more months now. ↩

    2. I’m no sure how Facebook is considered work but hey, who am I to talk? ↩

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  3. The Boyfriend.

    The dinner table has recently become the most interesting spot in house when it comes to getting news and updates from the child.

    gemini generated image yg7mexyg7mexyg7m This is not her boyfriend

    We were talking about school and friends and the like and then BW asks off the cuff if she has a boyfriend or girlfriend.

    “I did” she replied “but we decided not to continue”

    “whoa whoa whoa - back it up a bit - you had a boyfriend?”. I asked.

    “Yes, but I can’t remember his name,” she replied. “I was in grade one and I think he was in kindergarten,” she told us matter-of-factly.

    More questions followed but that was pretty much it.

    Now here’s the fun part:

    • Did she understand what BW was asking?
    • Did she actually have this boyfriend?
    • Could this boyfriend be of the imaginary kind?

    Was she just telling us stories? Nobody knows.

    But I was not expecting ” I had a boyfriend” to happen at the dinner table tonight, let me tell you.

    Just when I think that things are getting a little boring around here....

    For all you family members and friends with extra money you don’t know what to do with:

    The child is participating in a school fun run where you can donate and sponsor her running . Donations are per minute she can run laps around the school or something.

    I have no idea if there is an end to the minutes so if you’re doing this - donate accordingly - she might bankrupt you.

    Here’s the link to donate. Thank you. :)

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  4. A quiet night is all right.

    My posts have been getting lighter these past few days because there’s not much going on.

    pxl 20261004 010515238

    It’s a Monday. She had a new student in her class today that she was excited about until she realized that she knows the kid from her Ninja Class so that was a bit of a disappointment.

    She did come home from school today with the annual fundraiser details. For all the aunts and uncles and grandparents, consider this a warning.. The phone call for sponsoring the laps she has to run is coming. It’s a buck a lap this year - even the 2nd grade doesn’t dodge inflation.

    She did ask if she could give all the savings she had to the school today and we told her that it’s very nice thought but she should think about it. We haven’t heard since. q

    After last night’s late late night, the deal this evening was dinner, then bed.

    And she did. I told her to toss her PJ’s on and get the teeth brushed and then she can fart around and listen to stories all she wants - and she did.

    About 8pm she asked for a tuck-in and that was it - the end of the Monday.

    The photo you see above is her in her tent that I made her with the sheet on her bed.

    She was thrilled and squealed with delight when I turned on the reading light and shone it through the sheet to make a soft pink glow in there.

    I’m told this has to stay until Halloween like this.

    We shall see - I told her.

    I can’t get at her with this new setup. She crawls in, and then I toss in the requested stuffed animals and blankets and that’s it - just the other day I talked about how I love the bedtime chats we had been having, but for the time being they’re gone because she’s got a tent and imagination to keep her occupied.

    For tonight at least.

    Tomorrow is a whole new story.

    Until Next Time, TH and Co.

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  5. Breach of Trust

    I blame myself.

    thakur jaideep singh ikyud2iwjm8 unsplas Photo by Thakur Jaideep Singh on Unsplash

    She was supposed to be in bed an hour ago. She was downstairs saying goodnight and then I told her to go to bed as it was late already.

    I assumed that this would actually happen and she would brush her teeth and go to bed. I forgot she’s not on voice command and needs steering still - kind of the same as these self driving cars - technically it can work but you just can trust it completely.

    I went upstairs for something and I realized that OMG WHAT ARE YOU STILL DOING UP?.

    I am listening to stories, she tells me.

    It’s way too late for stories and I have one to tell you - it’s called GO TO BED.

    The end.

    Wish me luck tomorrow morning folks. It’s not going to be pretty

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