Tidy Husband

Eligible for the seniors discount and the Happy Meal deal at the same time.

  1. The Agenda

    We did it. We survived a week without school. We had no idea how we were going to do it.

    Today she went to the aquarium and saw the seals (who live outdoors year round) get fed and the penguins and of course a few fish.

    And that’s the end of the week. She managed to go to a children’s museum, visit another country and of course, today’s aquarium visit. Add some painting and Lego and too much YouTube Kids and you have a full winter break under our belt.

    We still have the weekend but that’s easy as we have them every week and we seem to have managed.

    Let’s take a moment to clap for my mother-in-law who came up to help. We could not have done it without her. Also, she makes a mean chocolate chip cookie.

    I managed to get rid of some of her toys again this week. “They are for babies”, she told me so the little people toy set is going to a new home. Also, the paw patrol truck we bought one day at the goodwill is going back to the goodwill for some other kiddo to enjoy. Bit by bit our family room is starting to look like one again instead of cage full of toys taken over by monkeys.

    Tonight I heard sounds from the bedroom after I put her to bed and they were not the snoring I should be hearing. Instead I heard the pitter patter of little feet and of course: “Hey Dad, Look at This!”.

    This.

    This is the agenda.

    She has a plan. There always needs to be a plan, and she decided she would do the following when she wakes up tomorrow:

    1. Brush teeth (we’re off to a good start)
    2. Play with toys
    3. Put on makeup (a girl can’t leave the house without makeup)
    4. Get dressed

    After I took the photo she added a few items – one was a book to read and to do some homework she had made for herself.

    If she comes down tomorrow morning having done homework, with clothes and makeup on and teeth brushed we will definitely be off to a good start for the day.

    We have a surprise for her tomorrow so be sure to stay tuned for more…

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  2. The Tea Party

    The plan for today was to have a tea party with her best friend Ethel.

    Unfortunately Ethel had a fever and could not come out and play. This was not accepted well and there were a few tears but they subsided pretty quickly and she ended up being very happy at the tea party.

    smile for dad.

    Abuela brought the tea set that Aunt L had as a child so it was extra special as we had tea with a family heirloom instead of some crappy tea set from Wal-Mart.

    The first course of action was to find a nice clean white tablecloth and then she had to put on a nicer shirt. And of course it wouldn’t be a tea party without the tiny cups and saucers.

    Also flowers. She brought over the flowers she made from her craft kit. NOW it’s a tea party.

    look at all those cookies!

    She loved it.

    It was her first time having tea and she tell us that tea is “soooo much better than hot chocolate” and she loves it. She also ate a lot and hoovered 4 chocolate chip cookies and a few of the little sandwiches with the crusts cut off because it would not be a tea party without them.

    I also got a tea party etiquette lesson because GASP, I had my tea cup on the plate instead of the saucer. It’s a wonder she can live with her uncouth father day in and day out.

    Overall I would say that the tea party was a smashing success!

    I would like to take this moment to thank all who organized this event.

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  3. Two Hundred

    This is my 200th post with this little newsletter of mine.

    200 evenings I have said to myself: “What the heck am I going to write about and 200 times so far I have found something to say. Some posts are silly like the one about smart pants I wrote yesterday but some I am quite proud of as well like being the best dad ever

    I’m also really proud of creating the habit that gets me to write every day for the past six months. Before I would write a post here and there but mostly make excuses. Too Busy, Too tired and sometimes I just don’t feel like starting. Starting is hard. Keeping at it is even harder.

    This is the 200th time I have started and the 200th time I have hit the “publish button.

    What hasn’t started is getting paid. This is a hobby site first and foremost and I know I get the most fun out of it because it gives me a license to be silly and creative and share words and photos of our little life here.

    So how about coughing up a couple bucks a month to help pay for hosting? This costs me 11 bucks a month for hosting, and it’s not a lot of money and I wouldn’t be doing this if we really couldn’t afford it.

    We can and it’s fun.

    Want to know what else is fun? Making a bit of money with a hobby. If I could break even it would be good and I could tell BW that I had a profitable business instead and maybe I could get out of working as much. (It’s worth a shot)

    Pay Me

    I am asking you to please consider subscribing as a paid subscriber.

    You can choose to pay $2.79 a month, or get a even bigger discount and pay $24.99 for the entire year! The $2.79 is what it costs me for a coffee at Tim’s so I figure that’s a good number to start with.

    Buy Now

    Of course if you want you can always just pay once with a tip without subscribing and of course I am good with that too.

    Tip Jar

    Don’t wait. Operators are Standing By!

    Take advantage of pre-tariff pricing before it ends!

    See you at post 300.

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  4. What if Pants Had AI?

    This was the question I was asked tonight as I helped with the PJ’s and the nighttime routine. She mentioned that you could just ask your pants for more pockets, and then it dawned on me:

    We could call them SmartyPants®️

    Not only would you be able to add pockets at will, but you could increase the size!

    Had one too many donuts? Ask your pants to adjust!

    “Hey Pants” I could say “Increase!” and just like that I would lose weight as the pants got bigger – not me. This is what the USA needs. We have the big trucks with the big seats and the smart features so I think smart pants are the future folks.

    Think about all the other things that would benefit from AI:

    1. Airplanes. Stuffed like a sardine in Economy? Just ask your seat to evict your neighbor! It’s like business class for free. The airlines would have to book fewer people per flight which in turn would make for even more room.
    2. Food! Go to some fancy restaurant and the portions are too small? Just talk to your plate to add more food! No more dealing with snooty waiters. Waiting for your takeout order to be handed it to you even though you can see it waiting behind the counter? Ask your food to come over and ta-da! – no more waiting.
    3. Exercise. We’re already there anyway with electric bikes and scooters and I haven’t seen a old school pedal-powered bike in forever so this would be a great addition: no more pedaling! Just ask your pants to adjust accordingly due to the lack of pedaling.

    Seriously though – to answer my little one’s question:

    Pants with AI would be a bad idea. We want AI to cure cancer and make life a better place for you. Not write crappy blog posts or auto post to your twitter feed or to help you shop on Amazon or trap you in a support bot hell with a chat bot not helping you at all.

    Hopefully you will not see Smarty Pants:®️ and instead you will see AI provide you with cures for cancer and help people be happier and healthier. That’s what I want you to see with AI in your future.

    Leave the pants out of this.

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  5. Don’t Lick the Wal-Mart Shopping Cart

    This weekend while we were inside snowbound we moved some furniture around and moved a desk up to the child’s room so she would have her own space to color and play etc.

    The problem was we didn’t have a chair for her. We looked online but didn’t want to spend $100 and up on an office chair because this isn’t needed. Then she told us she wanted us to buy 2 chairs so she and her friend Ethel could play and color together.

    Okay then. Cheap folding chairs it is.

    I was going to just buy them on Amazon like we do everything else but for some reason the delivery time for the chairs would have been weeks out.

    It was decided. We will go and get them at Wal-Mart. We needed chairs today. Also, we needed to get out of the house. If hear one more minute of you tube kids I might go crazy.

    It took an hour and a half for the child to decide whether she wanted to come and she played me like a fiddle deciding that fact. It was super cold and windy so I was just fine going by myself and picking up the chairs and then getting out of dodge.

    Finally we managed to pee, get a coat on and boots and I got her into the back seat.

    We were on our way to Wal-Mart! In the beautiful city of Niagara Falls!

    I don’t know about you guys, but Wal-Mart is…..interesting. I remember it being cleaner somehow but maybe it’s just the rose colored memory I have and the awe of seeing both tires for your car and potato chips in the same store.

    Now I avoid this store as much as possible. The music is too loud and there’s way to much crap to see. We have too much choice in this country and Walmart is a prime example of this. The checkout had I swear 17 different types of beef jerky on display. Including Teriyaki.

    Anyway, Chairs. We found them and the few things we needed and we were at the checkout admiring the beef jerky selection when I look over and the child has her tongue fully out and has it twisted completely around one of the wires on the shopping cart.

    “Don’t Lick the Shopping Cart!”, I yelled “What is wrong with you?”

    She tucked her tongue back in like a frog catching a fly, and learned one more boundary of life today: Don’t lick the shopping cart!

    Lick ice cream, not carts.

    The funny thing is I have witnessed this exact same scenario before but it wasn’t my kid. It was a stranger’s kid. This was a few years back and pre-child for us so perhaps it was the universe getting me ready for today.

    The same thing happened that day to another parent. There was the lick and then the same statement:

    “Don’t Lick the Shopping Cart!”. “What is wrong with you?”

    I wonder what goes though a mind of a child where they think that licking a shopping cart is a good idea? I guess I will never know and probably my grandchildren will lick the cart as well.

    I guess it’s just the circle of life.

    Please remember to return the cart when you’re done.

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