Tidy Husband

Eligible for the seniors discount and the Happy Meal deal at the same time.

  1. The Washing Machine

    There’s a thaw that needs to happen when she gets home from school.

    a rubber ducky toy sitting inside of a washing machine

    Photo by Pavol Tančibok on Unsplash

    Some kids run in and get snack

    The first thing she does is kick off her shoes and coat and leave them where they are and then she looks around to see if there’s anything new. New soap, something in the fridge, whatever.

    Tonight, she had an idea. She’s getting ready in her mind that she’s leaving for Argentia with Mom in one week and she had to make her teacher a goodbye card. The trouble came when she went to close the envelope.

    I told her she had to lick it.
    ”Lick it?” she asked.

    Yup. I had to explain the whole glue and envelopes thing and for those of us that don’t send hundreds it’s a just a quick lick and it’s good to go.

    She licked, complained about the taste and said that they should make the glue flavored. We explained that if you’re a professional envelope sender there’s machines for that now.

    Speaking of Machines

    Then she wanted to play a few games of Mad Libs, so we did that for a while and then I got up and started to do some laundry. My little shadow followed me downstairs and helped me load up the washer.

    She also learned that detergent comes in sheets now. It’s interesting times we live in.

    She then went upstairs, got a couple of blankets and pillows and her Tonie box and favorite stuffies and set up camp in the laundry room to watch the washing machine go around and around.

    For a good half an hour - that’s what she did. She listened to her stories and sang songs and was happy as a clam in her little washing machine nirvana.

    Although I wanted to - I didn’t get a photo because I didn’t want to interrupt the zen of the washing machine moment so I left it alone and have a memory to go with when I make all these posts into a book someday.

    But this is not the first time she’s done this. The child and the washing machine go way back:

    Further back than I thought. :)

    Until Next Time,

    TH and Co.

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  2. Sunshine and Unicorns

    It’s Wed.

    Here’s the unicorn world that was made for me tonight.

    Never in a million years did I think my day would be made by being given a bejewelled chunk of blue play-doh with plastic toys jammed into it - but here we are.

    In other news, she’s ready for mother’s day.

    The gift she’s going to give mommy on the big day is hiding in plain sight on the bookshelf in the living room - it’s wrapped so there will be a surprise. I have no idea what’s in it.

    Then she sat on her little stool in the kitchen and yammered my ear off while petting the dog while I cleaned up after dinner. It was iffy at first, but those two are best buds now.

    So ya. A pretty good day here.

    It was all Sunshine and Unicorns today.

    “Literally”, as she likes to say.

    Until Next Time,

    TH and Co.

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  3. An Early Start

    7am. Dad, wake up!

    blue and yellow plastic pack

    Photo by No Revisions on Unsplash

    “I want to have a mother’s day store”, she tells me.

    “A what?”, I ask groggily?

    “ A store, for mother’s day” she repeats.

    Sigh.

    I find glasses and a somewhat vertical state and go downstairs to find the little kid table that’s taken up residence in our kitchen has been turned into some kind of cookie store. There are two kinds to purchase: Oreos and Animal Crackers.

    Both choices are not exactly a breakfast choice and I told her that.

    She rolled her eyes at me and said “Obviously” and then pointed at the sign that read closed. On the big day I guess the plan is to put the open side up and mommy can have her mothers’ day extravaganza with oreos? I have no idea.

    Cookies go away, and the usual breakfast and getting dressed happens…the usual - teeth brushed, shoes on, etc.

    Then I remembered that I had to pack her a snack. She tells me that I don’t need to as she’s already packed it.

    I ask what she packed.

    “Oreos. just two”

    Keep your eyes on your oreos,

    TH and Co.

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  4. I is for Itchy

    I started Friday night, the itch. just my upper arms…and I didn’t think that much of it. Maybe something bit me or dry skin or who knows…old age.

    red vehicle in timelapse photography

    Photo by camilo jimenez on Unsplash

    I tried the obvious - antihistamines - no change. moisturizer…eh..maybe. hard to tell.

    So all weekend while the ladies were away, I was at home itching and scratching. The dog and I were having a contest at one point on who could scratch the longest. I won

    It was rough.

    This morning I went to the walk in clinic. The diagnosis: Psoriasis. I can’t even pronounce it, let alone explain what it is. Don’t google it. I warned you.

    I think this is really a fancy word that the doctors make up when they have no effing idea what the hell is wrong with you so they tell you that they think it’s (insert whatever here) and send you home with a prescription.

    Which is what happened to me today. Doctor took one second to look and basically said “ I think it’s psoriasis” and sent me home.

    I have learned in the medical community this is called “Treat and Street”. Get them in and out the door as quickly as possible but be sure to charge them for every little thing.

    My doctor visit today was brought to you by Private Equity - we enshittify everything.

    That said, I’m in better shape than I was this morning so maybe I should give more credit than I have - but I swear I’ve had better service at the drive thru at Tim Horton’s than I had today at the clinic.

    Hoping to be less itchy next time we meet.

    TH and Co.

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  5. The Ladies are Back Home

    It’s the laundry.

    white textile on blue plastic laundry basket

    Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash

    All trips end with:

    1. Exhaustion
    2. Laundry
    3. Stories
    4. Plastic Wings from the flight attendant.1

    The Exhaustion was evident. BW showered and went to bed. The child - no shower (more on that in a minute) and melted in her bed with YouTube Kids. This is understandable because the day started at 5am.

    But, there was a good time. Cousins were introduced to, ball pits were played in and a night in a hotel never gets old when you’re 7-years-old.

    I also had a demonstration on how the traffic controllers wave their glow sticks to guide the planes. We didn’t have those so we used.

    Bedtime? It landed an hour too late and we paid for it. “I don’t need bath”, was a real thing and real struggle tonight but in the end it happened. The school bus arrives here at 8:14 and she’s going to be on it.

    Oh, the plastic wings. We have them. Apparently they don’t hand them out any more and you have to ask for them, but we asked and the wings are proudly pinned on her jacket and she’s asleep and out cold.

    Flying sucks, but coming home is awesome. Even if there is laundry to deal with.

    Until Next Time,

    TH and Co.

    1

    no guarantee on this one. it helps if you are under the age of 10.

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