Tidy Husband

Eligible for the seniors discount and the Happy Meal deal at the same time.

  1. The Hangover

    Summer Camp is Hard. Really, Really Hard

    It had to happen.

    One can only go on so much activity and so much excitement with so little sleep for so long. Eventually, you just can’t take it anymore:

    soooooo tired. so, so tired.

    She made it to the corner at the end of the street on the way home with BW in the car. Thankfully, she’s still small enough I can carry her so I brought her to bed but she didn’t want to stay there for long and down she came for dinner.

    It’s day 2 of summer camp here, and we were expecting this level of exhaustion so we had dinner ready and waiting (it was spaghetti, don’t get excited) so she could eat, have a bath and go to bed.

    It’s been a full day of tired here. We warned her. We told her she would be so tired after having so much fun chasing spiders (update: the spider isn’t in the tree anymore) and today was fishing and swimming. She just needs to go to bed and catch up on some sleep.

    This morning was probably a cue to how the day would go:

    Once again I woke to an overexcited and under slept child

    “Hey, Dad, it’s 6:02”

    I tried to convince her that we have more time to sleep but I had no real need to get up 2 hours before camp so I protested a bit and told her to just hop in and lie down. Well… we all know how that ended up:

    She wanted me UP. NOW!

    My body was having other ideas about this and was disputing the demands of a six-year-old wanting it to wake up.

    Well, that was it - the fact that I did not instantly get up thisthrew my little over-played and under-slept friend in a tantrum faster than you can say the word.

    There was screaming and flailing and kicking which ended with BW getting kicked in the head as her wake up call. (good morning, BW). Accidental, but not a nice way to get up.

    By this time she was full on meltdown and no words could fix this so I grabbed her and started to take her to her bedroom where she can cool the f down. When we got to the hallway she woke up from her screamfest and realized that she was on the move and asked “where are we going, daddy?”.

    “You’ll find out” I thought to myself.

    I put her down on her bed, and then told her not to come down until the mood approves.

    Also, Dad needs coffee. Lots of coffee.

    There seems to be a few phases of the tantrums:

    First there’s the slight whining and resistance - maybe some wiggling and kicking. Then we go to full on screaming. This is usually where we part ways until she cools it. Up next comes the demands and (more screaming) arguments about why she should have/not have whatever the protest is about. Then finally the sign of defeat: the ask for a Huggie.

    Huggies are always free here. You’re just not getting one until you cool your jets a bit.

    The rest of the morning we had breakfast and it’s like the 20 minute meltdown didn’t happen and I dropped her off on day 2 of camp where she was off making new friends before I could get back to the car.

    She came home in the status you see above.

    Dinner was uneventful and so was the bath - until the hair washing started to happen. She’s so stubborn sometimes: All we wanted to do was get her hair shampooed so she didn’t look unwashed and sandy and stinky and gross.

    Cue more protests, and splashing and overall just being a little …well, you get the idea.

    So BW did exactly what I would do: She dumped a container of water on her head for the rinse.. She was going to get rinsed one way or another and we offered her the easy way multiple times, but she didn’t want to - so we choose our way: the hard way.

    I now can tell you about tantrum 2. It’s pretty much a repeat of this morning: She didn’t want to do (enter thing here) and she didn’t like the result (sent to her room)

    Cue the screaming. (again)

    Finally, her poor little body couldn’t take it and once the noise stopped I cautiously entered her room to check on her and found her with her book and under the covers. I got her into her PJ’s, and except for a trip downstairs for an ice pack that’s been the last of her for today.

    I sure hope she gets used to the rigors of this camp thing and the mood improves. She’s a completely different person with 12 hours of sleep in her and It’s the version I recommend.

    Tomorrow, it’s a field trip to the bowling alley including pizza and soda!

    Hopefully she’ll sleep in until at least 6:03 am.

    Until next time,

    TH and Co.

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  2. The First Day of Summer Camp

    She had so much fun that she looked totally worn out when I picked her up.

    5:45am: Hey Dad - wake up!

    Photo by Aaron Burden on Unsplash

    It’s camp day!

    I open one eye and there she is all bright-eyed and cannot wait to go to camp.

    Can. not. wait.

    I somehow manage to get some breakfast into her and then come the first day logistics:

    Sunscreen, Lunch, Sweater, swimsuit, towel and an extra pair of underpants - just in case.

    “Oh, wait! Hat!” I say as drop a bucket hat on her head.

    Okay, let’s go.

    It’s a lovely morning as we drive to the park with the sun shining. She’s so excited in the back seat. I get her signed in and she is off running to play with her yet-to-be made friends.

    At pickup I find her in the park with all her new friends making a spider trap with sticks or something. She’s wearing a beaded bracelet that she made and her new camp shirt is a stinky stained mess.

    On the car I hear about the swimming where they walked to the beach, played at the playground and then did some crafts, of course.

    She walked in the door and the first thing she did was go to bed. I’ve only seen her this tired once before when we survived a 14 hour flight. She might have actually looked worse on this occasion.

    At dinner she perked up a bit, but bedtime was not much of fight tonight because she was forcing herself to stay awake. Last I saw her she was in bed with limbs every which way fast asleep.

    Summer camp was a great success so far.

    As the MasterCard ads say: Priceless.

    Until next time,

    TH and Co.

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  3. Made in China

    of if you remember: Japan

    While we were having breakfast she was playing with her SpongeBob Krusty Krab Kit that BW bought yesterday and somehow it got mentioned that it was “crap from China” as I call it.

    I mean, take a look at this crap:

    We do not need this in the house. This is a novelty toy. It will be the toy of the week and then never touched again. Take for example, the vet set we had to have. I haven’t seen the vet set all together in the same place for like, forever.

    There may be a few pieces left here and there but if I were the vet set I would be very afraid because I’ve slowly been donating the vet set.

    Anyway, made in China:

    This brought us to an entire conversation on where stuff was made and so we rhymed off the usual sources for all our crap: Vietman, China, Cambodia…

    The next thing you know the child is running around inspecting tags of all the things. Her shoes? China, of course. Her nightgown she was wearing? Cambodia

    The computer I am typing on is 100 percent made in China. Keyboard and mouse too.

    Despite what the current administration wants, made in the USA never made into the conversation this morning. We did tell her that before China there was JAPAN and they kicked out butts with prices and quality.

    We try not to get her a lot of crap and she’s most happy with crayons (made in the USA) and paper (and from my quick research also comes mostly from the USA) so she’s actually mostly using stuff made in the USA on the regular.

    Then she got back on her definitely made in China tablet and totally forgot our conversation because she’s six.

    Today was a good day for her. She got up late and slept well and had a blast at the birthday party she went to where she rode in a go-cart and played mini golf.

    The go-cart was definitely the hit of the day and I got told about it at least 3 different occasions. I remember go-carting being a big thing when I was a kid so I doubt much has changed.

    We ended the afternoon with the swim in the pool where we learned that the temperature had dropped from the heatwave but I was a good sport and hopped in regardless. brrrr!

    The pool is starting to become my favorite place. Go figure. I think it has something to do with the company I keep.

    Until next time,

    TH and Co.

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  4. McLovin' It

    Shh…don’t tell mommy we went to McDonald’s

    BW is right. McDonald’s is not really a healthy choice for lunch.

    Photo by Declan Sun on Unsplash

    But the child and I went anyway. Because breaking all the rules is what the child and I do.

    Of course, with all things parenting - there was a deal involved. The deal was that if she behaved at the hairdressers when getting her haircut then I would take her for McDonald’s for lunch.

    She walked around the house for an hour before we left telling BW that we were going to DuckDonald’s for lunch where we were going to eat roast duck, so there’s nothing to see here.

    That child.

    Thankfully the trip to the hairdresser was uneventful and she was as good as gold in the hairdressers where she had a $38.00 haircut! I haven’t had a haircut in some time so I’ve been out of the haircut cost loop but BW says that’s what they cost. We also dont’ mind paying because our hairdresser is part of our small community and not some stranger at some kiddie haircut place.

    Anyway, $38. Holy.

    Then off to McDonald’s we go. We ordered from the app and then with Ronnie’s just being down the street our food was ready when we arrived. The local McDonalds has been our preferred McDonalds for some time for the child and I.

    A few years ago, they tossed out all the kids play area and made it a huge bright airy dining area which almost nobody uses. The drive thru is packed, and sometimes folks come in to pick up takeout but we pretty much have the place to ourselves.

    After lunch, BW realized that there’s a birthday party tomorrow we have to attend so she took the child to TJ Maxx to get a gift. They come back with both a gift for the birthday girl, but also she got suckered in to getting a gift for the child as well - some super plasticky spongebob play set that seems to get some use now that it’s still novel, but we shall see over time. This is really cheap looking. In fact, the toy from the Happy Meal might be a better made and quality toy. I will have no qualms about donating this to goodwill soon.

    BW even came home with toys for the dog, for crying out loud. I guess those two can not be trusted when going shopping unsupervised.

    Afterwards, BW decided a nap was in her future so after a while we took out the new dog toys (tennis balls) and threw them around. While the child and dog were playing I decided it was time to clean up the dog poop in the back yard and the child wanted to help.

    I have no idea why she would want to help wandering around a backyard looking for dog poop but that’s how we had our little father/daughter moment. She actually was very good at finding it. Her eyesight is better than mine so this might become a new father/daughter routine as she was actually kind of helpful.

    It was a relatively easy day today - want to know why?

    SLEEP. Lots of sleep.

    She had 12 hours sleep, and OMG it make such a difference in how the day after will play out. The other day she had only like 8 hours and boy did it show.

    Today she was good as gold all day today - even with the bedtime routine.

    If only every day could be as easy as today.

    As she told me while she was munching on her fries:

    “Best Day Ever”

    Indeed, Pumpkin, Indeed.

    Until Next Time,

    TH and Co.

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  5. The 2nd Annual Ice Cream Sandwich Giveaway

    It’s always a good time when the cops show up.

    What do you do in the time between the end of the school year and the beginning of summer camp?

    the flowers were Mommy’s touch.

    Give away ice cream sandwiches! (or, sandwichis if you prefer)

    This year was the 2nd annual ice cream sandwich giveaway she had. This started last year when she wanted to sell ice cream sandwiches and we told her that we couldn’t do that because there was no licenses for selling ice cream, and well - it’s complicated.

    But nobody says we can’t give them away.

    And give them away, she did.

    This year’s turnout wasn’t as good as last years but she still managed to make 8 bucks in tips and give away close to to 20 or so sandwiches. The Tip Jar was an improvement over last year when she was new and didn’t realize she needed one.

    waiting to deliver a smile to the Amazon associate.

    We had neighbors show up of course and chat and tell her how big she is and ask her what grade she’s going into next year and then tossing a single or two in the tip jar and talking to Mom.

    Then things got really out of hand when the cops showed up.

    No, really. The cops showed up.

    He pulled up, parked right in the middle of the street and threw the the door open, hopped out of the car just like you see on TV and then..gave her the biggest smile and threw a few bucks into her tip jar.

    You know it’s a party when the cops show.

    She handed sandwiches out to the roofers working on the house next door

    She handed sandwiches out to young girls riding bikes.

    She handed sandwiches out to the Amazon Man.

    Surprisingly, the cop didn’t want one.

    She handed sandwiches out to her friends

    She tested a sandwich to make sure they were okay

    Then business just stopped. Nobody came or drove by. No sales. Nothing.

    The few that did come were lactose-intolerant.

    She had to get creative with the advertising and so she scooted up and down the street with her sign and still no takers.

    By that time there was a lot more playing with friends than giving away ice cream sandwiches and sandwiches were starting to melt so we wrapped things up for the day.

    waiting for customers

    Tomorrow she’ll be out again in the afternoon because we have over 100 sandwiches left to give away and camp hasn’t started yet.

    If you’re in the neighborhood please stop by.

    We’ll be the house with the cops out front.

    Until Next Time,

    TH and Co.

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