Signs from Above

We're having a bit of problem listening here. It's like she just doesn't get it.

Our evening looks like this:

"Please put on your pajamas"

She plays in her room.

"Please put on your pajamas"

She still ignores us

"OMG. Put on your pajamas! I'm not asking any more"

Parents, you know how this is. You get completely ignored. It's like I am flapping my gums and I am getting no help here. I want help. I want wine. I want a child that listens. I want her evening to end so mine can start!

The PJ instructions are only one example: I also tell her not to touch Mommy's blinds on the windows because they are pricey and she has little tiny hands of destruction. So what does she do? She touches them again! O.M.G. Help Me.

Bedtime tonight was far from a smooth slide into bed for her. More like a stumble, or maybe an outright train wreck. At one point she was at the top of the stairs yelling "Huggie"! over and over and over in tears. It was not pretty.

I finally managed to get her to stop. I um, may have stretched the truth a touch for it to happen but desperate times, and all that..

I managed to get her settled down to a dull roar and into the bed again and I was trying to tell her that all the screaming and drama has to stop because everybody loves each other in this house and there's no need to scream when all you need to do is GO.TO.BED. There's a no screaming rule in this house.

"In fact" I said, "there's a sign on the roof that says so"

"You're joking me" she replied.

"Oh No", I told her "We have a big sign on the roof that says that. When the police fly over the house they see the no screaming sign and then know all is good here and keep on flying by - which is what we want.

"We only want the police to come down if we put up the sign that says Free Pizza and then they come down and we all have a pizza party on the back deck. But right now the pizza sign is broken so they just fly by right now.

"Oh" was her reply

She bought it. She's in bed. Probably dreaming of pizza parties.

Now, if I could only get her to put on her pajamas the first time that would save me a lot of time and story making-up skills because I can't pull this stuff out of my rear every night.

I save it for special occasions, like tonight.

Tonight's lesson: Pay attention to the signs from above.

TH and Co.