Weekend Planning

Next week, I will be alone. With my Child.

I've got this.

That's what I keep telling myself as I look forward into the future, that is the next looooonng weekend with just me and my daughter.

I have to tell you that one of us is more excited about this than the other.

You see, Mommy is going away and leaving us two to our own devices and little does she know that's a bad idea (okay, she knows)

You see, the little one and I have a deal when mommy is gone:

We break all the rules

Yup, each and every one.

You want gummy bears for dinner? Go Ahead!
No bath! No Problem!
Eat out every meal? Okay!
Go to Walmart and buy crap we don't need? Sure!
Play with rattlesnakes...um...let's find something else.

I got told today that I'm mostly fun with a bit of serious. That's because when I get serious it's not good. Not. Good.

Tonight was leaning towards a no fun weekend, as I like to call them. We used to call it being grounded when I was a kid. The deal is if you act like a little turd the fun goes away.

Tonight for a bit we were lost deep in turdville. She was great all day and played quietly and sang to her toys and was the perfect child. You know when you see those perfect kids out in the world and you ask yourself why can't my kid be like that?

Today she was a well behaved kid. Until. She. Wasn't.

We were doing great until we had to trim her toenails after dinner. This should not be a big deal, right? Click, Click, Click and done - yes?

No.

There was screaming and my least favorite: kicking. When the kicking starts the fun dad goes away and serious dad came out and laid down the law. If we don't get your nails trimmed there will be no fun this weekend. Do you understand?

After a bit more whining and fussing she finally agreed to the deal and toenail trimming. I don't know what it is, but getting her nails trimmed has become an event where we have to close all our windows so the neighbors don't have to listen to all the screaming. Then BW and I have to put on hockey pads while one holds her down while the other tries to trim a toe on a constantly wiggling and kicking toe. You would think we were trying to administer a flu shot. It's insane.

Finally, we managed to get her settled down and toes trimmed. Yay.

Then she realized that she had held up her end of the deal and that if she kept behaving, the fun weekend will be here soon, so....

We Better Make a List

This girl loves a good list. She makes lists for the morning and for the night. Lists on what to do and not to do. You name it, there's probably an undecipherable list lying around somewhere.

Ladies and Gentlemen, I present to you the break all the rules with dad list:

For those that don't understand hieroglyphics of a left-handed 5-year-old allow me to translate:

First the easy part. Obviously this list is called the weekend plan because, well that's what it says.

These may change at any time and no guarantee or warranty is expressed or implied.

The left column is for Saturday and the right for Sunday.

She has lunch before dinner on Saturday but here we go!

Saturday:

That's a fun-filled Saturday if you ask me, with toys and TV and not a vegetable in sight. Wait - there might be a pickle on the Happy Meal. I'm good!

Sunday as you can see, is pretty much the same except we are down a Target run and are having pizza instead and she's got ice cream for dessert as the bottom icon but we shall see. We might be in a junk-food induced coma by the time we get to ice cream. I might have to be the bad cop on this one and feed her a cucumber or something.

There you have it folks, the plan for next weekend has been written out so it's real now. It's on the fridge!

Heck, it's on the internet, and if it's on the internet it must be real.

Healthy eating,

TH and Co.