Tidy Husband

Eligible for the seniors discount and the Happy Meal deal at the same time.

  1. The Food Party. AKA: Easter

    It isn’t a party unless there’s food. And bunnies. And Money. It’s the rule here.

    She’s fast asleep dreaming of the easter bunny as I write this.

    And what a day it was. She had a playdate that ran way into overtime so we only got to sit down to dinner at what is normally her bedtime.

    And, as you can imagine: When she gets tired, she gets a little on the cranky side.

    She has been obsessed with the easter bunny and the lack of plastic eggs and a basket. In a fit of cleaning up, I tossed the old eggs/basket we had and I think I have paid for it every day since.

    And tonight it all boiled over. All week she’s been saying we need to go to the dollar store and get a basket and some eggs, and for the life of me I could not figure out why this was such a big deal. Of course the easter bunny would come. He/she/they always come.

    Then it was mentioned that she probably has it in her head that no basket and eggs equals no easter bunny.

    After we got that straightened out she perked up a bit and got ready for the big day tomorrow. This is one easter-excited child. I don’t remember being so excited about easter.

    Anyway,

    At first she told me she felt it was fair to charge the easter bunny a dollar a carrot. I said that no, that’s not fair: the easter bunny is going to leave you a bunch of cool toys and stuff and you want to charge he/she/her/they for a carrot?!

    Are you an oligarch? I asked. You sound like the current administration!

    She agreed that free carrots was the way to go after all and we made a sign so there was no confusion on the pricing structure of said carrots. They are free. Eat to your heart’s content Mr/Mrs./Ms Bunny.

    She went to bed fairly easily all things considered as it was late and she was tired and we needed her to go to be so we could get ready for the big reveal in the AM:

    Abuela always come through with a homemade easter roll thing: Whatever it’s called it looks delicious!

    diet starts Monday (or about Wed)

    And, as you can see BW went a little overboard in the candy department this year so I think my Uber customers might be getting some leftover candy.

    I have in my pocket a few eggs/candies I plan on sprinkling in the hallway once I get the dog to bed otherwise there will be no eggs and candy for her to discover as the dog will have found it all.

    As I write this, it’s calm and easter is ready to roll. In less than 8 hours (I better get to bed) it will be excitement and “Dad, get up” all over again.

    I wouldn’t want Easter any other way. I’d even pay a dollar for it.

    We Have That at Home

    Today’s WHTAH is: Peeps.

    Maybe I have been living under a rock or they didn’t cross the border into Canada but my exposure to Peeps has increased in the 14 years I have lived in the US.

    To me, Peeps are horrible and direct trip to the dentist

    For her, they are the best thing ever.

    A story: At dinnertime tonight I opened a random plastic easter egg on the kitchen table and inside was a well-handled and shrunken and dried pink peep. I went to throw this yucky thing in the trash - egg and all - when she told me “No, I want that”.

    “It’s my pet”, she told me

    “ Your What?“ I asked.

    Her Pet. You heard her.

    You see, a few weeks back somebody in her school district decided that a good activity would be adopting a small marshmallow and having and entire day of caring for your peep. AND THEN SENDING IT HOME WITH THE CHILD.

    This is a horrible idea.

    By the time this poor peep get’s home it’s been well-licked and handled every way since Sunday. It’s begging for mercy at this point. It gets ever better the next day when it’s dried up even more and more and has been drying every day until it’s in it’s current pink wrinkled state.

    It’s a small marshmallow rock in a plastic easter egg at this point.

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  2. We Went to the Buffalo Zoo!

    But we didn’t see the Polar Bears, and that’s OK

    When I was in journalism school I was told the way to tell a story is to start with the most interesting thing first.

    And when you’re six the most interesting thing that happened to her today was the

    Carousel! Oh, and we went to the Buffalo Zoo

    I coughed up five bucks for a two minute ride 1 and she loved loved loved it. Yes, we saw animals and it cost well over $50 to look at some animals and the best thing in her world was a carousel ride.

    It gets better. The child found in a box downstairs some beaded jewelry and was wearing two of her finds today. A tween and mom walked by and this young girl was covered in beaded bracelets. I would not be lying if she had 100 on. Maybe it’s a fashion for younger girls, I have no idea.

    I mentioned to the child that look at all the bracelets that young girl had! She heard me and turned around and the tween opened her bag and gave a bracelet she made to my little one. This is the second best thing that happened to her today.l

    I was also a great lesson that it doesn’t hurt to be kind. Now it’s our turn to pay it forward in the future and do a good deed for a stranger.

    Oh. We saw a few animals and the rain stayed away. Also, this is the last event we have planned for her for the spring break. AKA: We survived. One observation is that she’s good for about an hour and a half-ish before she starts to tire out. The trick of course is to find that moment before it happens and not too late. It’s an art.

    Lastly, because it was a Zoo we did see a few animals:

    And then we went home. She wanted to stop at the gift shop but there was no way we were coming home with a $30 stuffed animal.

    We Have That at Home

    Speaking of not coming home with any crap, it’s because we already have more than enough stuff as it is. Today, I want to write about shoes. Because she walks on her tippy-toes she has to have not one, but two pair of shoes: one for when she’s in the braces and another when not. If you add crocs, rain boots and snow boots we’re looking at six plus pairs of shoes for her.

    But for daily drivers she has one pair that are two sizes too big so that her braces fit inside. I forget what they’re called: SFO’s or UFO’s or something. No matter. Then there’s the pair that she wears when she’s just out for a bit and the pain that is known as putting on braces and shoes is just too much for this tired dad to handle for one day. Let’s call these shoes the “screw it, let’s go” shoes.

    We don’t get her cheap shoes at Walmart because they’re fine but we need all the help we can get and the sketchers seem to work well and I find I can get both pairs for under $100.

    And then, just when you think you have it figured out then she grows and you have to go shoe shopping all over again.

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  3. We Didn't Do Much Today and That's OK

    Not doing much is my favorite thing to do

    Photo by Austin Schmid on Unsplash | I don’t know where this is, but I want to be there

    The no school hours and schedule are starting to take shape. I fear I may have let things slide a bit too much with the bedtimes this week and combined with later-than-usual meals and the usual bedtime stalling that happens here means she’s been going to bed later and later and and then getting up later.

    I had her on a tight 6am to 6pm schedule 1 and now it’s slid into 8 to 8. I have failed as a father:)

    This is okay for today as there wasn’t much to talk about as far as activities. I write about the mundane here on TH and today was well, mundane. We woke up later, I tried to make some money as an uber driver and failed somewhat. Then lunch, and a doctor’s appointment and there’s the dinner shot.

    I did go out with BW on an adults-only “date” on the way home from the doctors, if you want to call it that. It was without a child in tow and an empty Starbucks so I’m calling a date. We even held hands ❤️

    Then you the routine: dinner, bath and after fighting some self-imposed computer issues here I am writing what I guarantee will not be my most popular post

    It’s all good though and because we have wonky schedules I can make it up some other day. Every day doesn’t have to be so productive - despite what the gurus say.

    We Have That at Home

    Today’s WHTAH is Mirabel Dress and matching purse. We have had this for over two years now and I have no idea where the matching eyeglasses and headband went, but if I had to guess I would bet the dog ate them.

    But the dress and bag are still here and she just dug them out a few days ago to perform a “show” for me.

    She called the show “Old lady with a purse”. And then she went off in her own little imagination and so I thought the show was over and so I laid down on the couch only to hear “Dad! the show’s not over yet!”.

    Oops, Sorry.

    This has been played with periodically over the past 2 years we have had this so I guess its been worth the sixteen bucks or so that this cost.

    1. Yes, 6 pm. I am the envy of parents worldwide. They’re not so envious of the 6 am starts, but it’s a trade off. ↩

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  4. In the Air Today

    Because “tonight” would be past bedtime.

    Photo by Timon Studler on Unsplash

    The plan today was to go to the Buffalo Zoo today but the weatherman 1 told us it was going to be cold and breezy with a temperature just above freezing.

    We didn’t want to feel like a polar bear while looking at polar bears so we decided to wait until Friday when the temps are going to be in the 60’s. It might rain, but we can bring an umbrella.

    But then the question became: What do we do with the child.

    As much as we are tempted, we can’t let her watch her tablet all day so we decided that we needed another activity. The default is the Niagara Fun Park but we’ve been recently.

    Then, I remembered the trampolines.

    She overheard me mention this trampoline idea and became very excited about this idea. She became so excited that she put down her tablet. The precious tablet, folks. This was a big deal.

    Of course, we had to have lunch before we went so it was a painful hour or so for her to wait until we were ready to leave but again, no real problems.

    The last time we went to the trampolines she was little and afraid of them. She wouldn’t even get into the foam pit, which is too bad.

    This time, it was different.

    shamrocks and tie-dye. Her fashion adviser took the day off.

    Once we got checked in she ran at full speed to the trampolines and we pretty much lost her in the swarm of other kids that were there. The place was busy because all the school kids were off for the week, but it wasn’t OMG NO WAY busy.

    Since last we were there, the place added what must be the world’s biggest playset for kids I ever saw. It was a sea of stairs and slides and pipes that was 2 stories tall and I swear it just sucked up my child and then spit out her sweaty little body periodically before she willingly ran right back in for more fun with the tons of other kids that got sucked into this thing.

    She did finally make her way to the trampolines for about fifteen minutes and then just like that the hour we paid for was up. She’s right at the age where 2 hours would be too much 2 but she could have stayed a bit longer.

    Understandably she did not want to leave and there was a bit of pushback from her, but not much really. Once again, she’s been so well behaved lately. I don’t know what it is but we need to keep this up.

    On the way home she of course zonked out for a bit but I’m happy that we managed to pull a rabbit out of our hat when it came to finding something to do when we really didn’t have any plans.

    We lucked out with the trampolines

    We Have That at Home

    Today’s WHTAH is toothpaste. Yes, toothpaste. She will not use any toothpaste unless it’s Orajel kids and it has to be this particular flavor: Natural Fruity Bubble.

    bubblegum or bust.

    No other toothpaste will do. Of course, we have a many, many other flavors of kids toothpaste in the closet now where she took one taste of and would not touch it again. Once I bought some at the dollar store because we lose toothpaste. I don’t want to think of where it goes or where it’s been 3 but we have a lot of other bubble gum toothpastes from other brands that have been slightly licked if anybody is interested.

    And don’t even think about trying a normal flavor like mint or peppermint of whatever flavor we have around and use at the time because it’s just toothpaste. In her defense, she is really good at brushing teeth and we haven’t had a cavity yet so I guess if we have to struggle to buy the one particular flavor it’s worth the time and effort.

    1. sorry, person ↩

    2. for both of us. ↩

    3. the dog, probably ↩

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  5. Movies Make Me Cry

    I Blame SpongeBob

    Day 2 of no school here and we didn’t have any plans today except to rest and survive..

    Photo by Artur Tumasjan on Unsplash

    My day started as usual with “ Dad, Get Up!” only to find her on the tablet by the time I finally find myself upright and moving. I don’t know why she needs to have me there downstairs so she can watch her tablet, but there ya go.

    10 minutes later I get the “I’m hungry” so I fire up the breakfast machine and make her some French toast. Then, back to the tablet because it’s not a school day.

    Later in the day about 2:00, all of the adults were 6-year-olded out and sick of playing pretend about something with flowers and a parade. The weather was not conducive to having her go outside to play so that left us with one option: Paramount+. We fired up the SpongeBob movie and left her to her own devices in the family room.

    When the movie ended she told me that “ Some of the movie made me cry ”

    I asked her if they were sad tears, and she said that they were the opposite: happy tears. I think it’s good that the movie made her cry as it displays that the child has empathy and god knows we need it for others right now who are not as lucky as we are.

    Then she went upstairs where she looked in the fridge for a snack and then said to me: Imagine if I could fit in the refrigerator

    This is why when it’s time to throw out your fridge for a shiny new one that you must take off the door. Little ones have thoughts about going into fridges and we don’t want them to get hurt. Consider this your safety announcement of the day.

    Later still she told me “I’m fully active”

    Tell us something we don’t know. Too active at times.

    We Have That at Home

    Let’s start this little feature with probably the most used thing she has in the house.

    It’s the tablet of course. Actually we do not let her use the table on school days so there’s that. Not that it makes me parent of the year, but at least we’re trying.

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