Tidy Husband

Eligible for the seniors discount and the Happy Meal deal at the same time.

  1. Reading, Writing and Arithmetic

    It’s a story about a Pig. And a Chicken.

    She’s written her first book. It’s about a pig. And a chicken. I think.

    It’s written in code. It can only be read by the 5 year old author.

    As you can see from the example above, this is pretty hard to read. In fact reading this feels like getting my eye test:

    “Can you read this?”

    “NO!”

    I think I might make out the word happy. Maybe there’s a pig word in there, I dunno. And what’s with the guy? Is he a farmer? The Amazon Man?

    BUT, if you ask her what it says she will tell you the story. It’s the same story as she has told it to me many times over the past 24 hours so I know she’s reading the words but I have not the faintest idea what those words might be.

    This morning, while we waited for the School Bus she had me go get the book and read it, so she’s very proud of it and thinks it’s well written. Which it might be, but

    I dressed her. Can you tell?

    I have NO IDEA what it says. None.

    and as well all know:

    Math is hard (to read)

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  2. Dear Monday

    Dear Monday,

    It’s been a week almost since we talked but boy am I glad to see you on the horizon. In fact, it’s been two weeks since we got to our normal routine due to the holiday and I have to say that I am glad you’re back. Really, really, glad

    I think you’ve gotten a bad rap over the years. Friday gets all the credit when it should be Monday that gets celebrated.

    There’s more than one song about you and how you’re not liked, and I don’t think that’s fair. You should get more credit for all you do. You’re the start of the work week (and school!). You’re the best. In fact you’re better than that. You are loved.

    I Love You

    Why this profession of my love? Because on Monday it’s been determined that it’s the start of the week and that means the children go back to school.

    And when they are in school, they are somebody else’s problem. Somebody other than me is in charge of my little charge. I have had a very long day full of “Hey Dad’s” and I just want a little break to have a single thought in my head uninterrupted. I want to potty in peace.

    And so I thought of you, and how you’re so awesome that you come along and take my child away from me if only for a few hours. (Once I get her fed and clothed and on the bus – that’s one area you could work on)

    You can pick up the Play-Doh and the crumbs and answer how to spell words ad nauseum and get asked to play “let’s pretend” for the umpteenth time. You can deal with the “I don’t wannas” and the “no’s” and even the full-on meltdown screaming fits I have experienced this weekend while you were away. You can read books and get water and make pancakes for breakfast.

    You can fold laundry and sweep floors and find snacks and matching pairs of socks and fight getting into baths and how it’s the wrong shampoo.

    You’ve got this, Monday. You had all week to rest and get ready for the big day. You only have one day where you have to take care of things. Tuesday is a lazy bum, and Wednesday gets all the credit for being the mid-week hero,m and Thursday is envious of Friday, but you’re the one we rely on to get things started for the week.

    You’ve got this. I’m counting on you.

    PS> Don’t forget I packed her a mid-morning snack and her homework is in the big bag she needs to hand in at school.

    PPS> She needs to be home at 3:48. Please don’t be late.

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  3. The Children’s Museum

    It was a random comment when I got home tonight. In fact, it was so random that I don’t know how the topic came up but somebody in this house suggested we go to the Ralph C. Wilson Children’s Museum on Saturday.

    “What!?” she asked.

    “We’re going to the Museum?” she squealed with joy.

    OMG you guys. You would think that this is the most exciting thing that has ever happened to her. It’s not and we’ve been more than once before. I think this will be her fourth trip.

    hot wheels on a rooftop patio.

    Then the feature list started where she had to tell us about each and every thing you could do there.

    In case you were wondering, here’s what you can do there:

    1. You can sit in half a Ford Mustang at the entrance.
    2. You can put your hand/face up against a wall of pins and go around the other side and see what it looks like.
    3. You can pretend to be a mechanic on cars
    4. You can visit a replica car wash where you get dressed up as a car and then you walk thru the (pretend, thankfully) car wash.
    5. There’s a water section where you can take toy boats down a kid sized version of the Erie Canal
    6. There’s a treehouse with a slide.
    7. You can pretend to milk a cow and plant vegetables
    8. You can pretend to be a garbage man (sorry, sanitation engineer) and dress up and take out the garbage.

    1. You can play doctor at the play hospital
    2. You can build with construction tools

    and a whole lot more!

    OH! Also, they sell snacks! Dad, don’t forget the snacks!

    Tonight, we got reminded of every. single. thing you can do there of them, so we are alllll up to date with the Children’s museum in Buffalo.

    It’s all she talked about. We had to go through my photo album of past visits because we had to revisit and remember all the good times we had before.

    I guess this is exciting and I am going. I wonder if it’s because she’s a good six months older since last visit so there’s more for her to do or if it’s just what’s old is new again and it’s exciting

    I have no idea.

    What I do know is that we’re going early to beat the crowds. I want to get in and out of there before it gets crazy busy.

    3 more sleeps until the big day. I can’t wait.

    TH and Co.

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  4. The Muppet Show

    “Hey Dad!”.

    Tonight after bath can we watch the show with the tall puppets?

    Tall Puppets?

    Yeah, you know – where he goes me me me me

    OH. You mean Beaker!

    me me me me me

    I had completely forgotten about Beaker.

    Poor Beaker. He always got the bad end of the stick when it came to the experiments that Dr. Bunsen Honeydew dreamed up.

    I may have written about this in the past, but after the bath we have a snack and watch a YouTube video or two. Lately we’ve been on a how it’s made kick and in fact, I wrote about how we saw how they make the ultimate Canadian junk food.

    Anyway, tonight she wanted to have the snack with the Muppets.

    She has a memory I can only envy. She remembered that at the end of the piece they show the Statler and Waldorf clip.

    I didn’t remember that. She did.

    Boy, this takes me back to “back in the day” when, if we behaved we might get to stay up and watch the muppets. I think they were on about 7pm on a Sunday but I could be wrong. I do remember it being a big deal to be able to watch the Muppets.

    I hadn’t thought about the Muppets in recent years, until today.

    Today, she can pick and choose from so much entertainment it’s hard to keep track of all choices there. We caught her watching a video about constipation the other day (It’s good to be informed!)

    I wonder if all this choice is good for her? She asked me if we had cars when I was a kid and yes, we did. In fact we had the most famous car in the neighborhood:

    They don’t make ’em like that any more.

    We were a little bit past the horse and buggy growing up (thank god) and I told her that I wasn’t that old.

    Now, go to bed. If you behave we can watch more Muppets tomorrow.

    Keep Experimenting,

    TH and Co.

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  5. About This Tidy Thing..

    I came home from my morning of driving around strangers and want to know what I did? I tidied up.

    I flipped the dishwasher, cleaned out the fridge and a few other tasks that needed done to keep our house one step ahead of being condemned. This isn’t to say that BW doesn’t tidy as we both pick up along the way..

    But I gotta tell you..

    You’re looking at a “Super Pumpkin” and just a few of her things. Because, you know.

    I think I am losing the battle.

    I can hardly wait until she’s bit bigger and I’m retired. Not so that I can go on cruises but so I can have more time to clean! (and write)

    OMG you guys. Today we tackled our junk drawer and we found:

    OMG the stuff.

    We found:

    1. The stamps were looking for
    2. A sewing kit
    3. at least 50 pens
    4. a “0” birthday candle – used.
    5. 6+ tubes of lip gloss
    6. A ball inflator
    7. 6 syringes for kids Tylenol
    8. a 7-eleven cigarette lighter
    9. 6 eyeglass screwdrivers
    10. toothpicks. lots of toothpicks
    11. elastic bands
    12. batteries of every size and shape

    and the list can go on and on.

    Needless to say, we threw out a lot of crap from that drawer. And then there’s the crumbs to vacuum.

    We had to do this in part because the child has found this drawer and is always rooting around for something so I guess it would be a good idea to get rid of the dangerous stuff like the sharp knives and cigarette lighters.

    And don’t get me started on the laundry. I have no idea how or why we have so much laundry as we both essentially work from home and dress accordingly most days. (like the bum that I am)

    As I write this laundry load number 432 is spinning the basement right behind me.

    Some days I think I should rename this site to tidy-ish husband.

    This is just a sample of the haul from Halloween 2024

    Another thing we did when we tidied today was we grabbed the contents of her Halloween bucket and told her she could have 3 things and the rest of the suckers and stuff nobody eats gets tossed.

    Needless to say, this didn’t go over well but we’re a week away from my MIL visiting and our pie consumption goes up considerably and then there’s the holiday and then Christmas. She will not be lacking in sweets.

    So we had to edit the haul down to a reasonable amount

    She picked (all the largest sizes, ofc)

    1. Reese’s Pieces
    2. Starburst
    3. Skittles

    I grabbed anything that resembled a chocolate bar and all the rest got tossed.

    Then at dinner I could see the wheels rotating in her brain and then she says:

    I am going to eat one different candy every day then start over again.

    It’s like the Halloween candy circle of life here.

    Keep Tidying,

    TH and Co.

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