Tidy Husband

Eligible for the seniors discount and the Happy Meal deal at the same time.

  1. Let’s All Live in HRMANE

    As I write this BW is upstairs in the living room hyperventilating as she watches the election results and yet just by chance earlier today the child told me “ Ee all need to live in harmony” She got the idea from one of the My Little Ponies. I’m not sure what one – you’ll have to ask her.

    But here’s the thing: She’s right.

    It doesn’t matter if you’re for or against an issue or you don’t like a certain candidate at the end of the day, can’t we all just get along? Why does everything have to be so insular and polarized?

    My 5-year-old doesn’t care if her friend is republican or democrat – she just wants to play. She makes new friends so easy and without the bullshit of adulting and elections and policies and views and stances.

    She just wants to paint and sing and play with My Little Ponies and even if you like Paw Patrol or Spider-Man better – she doesn’t care.

    “Let’s Play” she says.

    We could learn a few things from our kids.

    I’d like to teach the world to sing. For her sake.

    Keep Singing,

    TH and Co.

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  2. The Dog ate the Carpet

    I go away for the weekend and this is what happens: The dog ate our new carpet.

    “What do you mean, the Dog ate the carpet?”, I asked.

    She replied that she had gone to shower and the child was on the tablet in the living room as she’s apt to be and the dog decided that it should eat the new carpet we had delivered this last Thursday.

    Before:

    A nice cheap carpet for the living room that’s washable.

    After:

    I told BW to toss the carpet downstairs. I didn’t mean for her to take the word “throw” so literally.

    This is what I come home to folks. I’m still glad to be back home because you never know what you’re gonna get when you walk through the door.

    Keep eating,

    TH and Co.

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  3. Quiet

    I did something I rarely get to do, and that’s to take a little after dinner nap.

    I don’t know what was in the cards tonight, but it all went relatively smoothly tonight if you consider what happened yesterday being the baseline.

    I came home and it was a little crazy as BW was making dinner and somebody spilled water, and the dishwasher needed emptying so I could put the dirty dishes from this morning into it. At the same time, somebody wanted me to play with them but I had chores to do and also dinner would be on the table soon. Also, there was a spill that had to get cleaned up. Just give me a minute, please!

    But once dinner happened, it slowed down to a dull roar. BW stated that she’s done with all of us and she went to shower. I cleaned up the dinner dishes and promised to play “store” (my favorite ). But it took so long for me to clean up the dinner dishes that she forgot about me and started to play by herself, so that’s a good thing in my book. It’s awesome when she gets in the “zone”

    She them actually obeyed me and took off her shoes and with a bit of prodding picked them up and put them away. She wanted me to do it but I held steady and she did it on her own. She’s her father’s daughter – if she can get somebody else to do it, then hey, why not?

    While she went upstairs to put on her PJ’s, BW came down and started her needlepoint project and then it dawned on me: both of the ladies in my life are occupied otherwise.

    I rubbed my eyes to make sure I wasn’t dreaming, but nope. The house was relatively quiet. I could take a nap!

    So, I did. I reclined in the chair and hoped for the silence to continue.

    Of course, the nap was only for about 15 minutes tops before I got found, but it was enough to allow me to write this post and not have it feel like my eyes are going to fall out of my head.

    I dare say that after the few weeks of floods and construction and other problems we have had, that for a moment I thought I was living inside a hallmark card. The gentle pock pock pock sound of the needlepointing and the music on low enough that I could actually hear it and doze off to it.

    Simply put, it was great. Blissful, even.

    Then, just like that it was over. I was wakened by my 3-foot offspring and jolted back to reality where I had to herd teeth brushing and read stories about short haired cats because that’s the book she bought home from the library today.

    I thought I had her in bed and I was home free, but then she came out and was getting a drink in the bathroom which resulted in a wet shirt, so a change was needed and then she wanted to make a change room with all her squishmallows and I said that would have to wait until tomorrow.

    She reluctantly crawled into bed, and I haven’t heard from her since in the time it’s taken me to write this, so I think we’ve done it for one more night.

    Keeping it Quiet,

    TH and Co.

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  4. Just Another No Fun Monday

    I usually get the text message from BW right about 8:30 am.

    So. It was going to be a long evening.

    Apparently, the child didn’t want to get out of the bed, and she didn’t want to put on clothes or go to school and she almost didn’t make the bus again this morning

    Who knew that the bed would be the big problem with children?

    Tantrums? Nope
    Diapers? Stinky, but Nope
    Food Costs? Pricey but still Nope.
    It’s the bed thing that’s the problem.

    It seems you can’t get them into the bed and then you do get them to fall asleep, they don’t want to wake up! There’s no winning.

    It’s been no fun for everybody today.

    Apparently, she perked up after mommy laid down the law that today was going to be a no fun day, and when she was reminded of this fact that when she got home it would continue, she was told “I thought you would forget”

    There was no forgetting here. Nice Try

    When she came home, I asked her if she misbehaved this morning and she sheepishly replied yes.

    Then she realized that I meant business and then the screaming began with her demanding that I play with her over and over and over again. There were tears for a good half hour.

    After a while she settled down and found an activity to do herself and as I was making dinner, she came up with an olive branch:

    Nice try, but this is not a get out of jail card

    She knew she was in trouble when she realized there was no dessert. Dessert is big around here and when there’s no dessert it’s a bad day here. Today was one of those bad days.

    She went to bed relatively easily and I can hear her playing upstairs so she’s not asleep as of yet when I write this, but I hope she will be soon and tomorrow can be a better day.

    I told her if she doesn’t start to behave in the morning, I am going to call and cancel Halloween.

    That put the fear in her.

    Keep Behaving,

    TH and Co.

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  5. Fall 2024 House Tour

    For almost 14 years, I have been wandering around this house wondering what all these rooms are here, and I never understood until today when it was all made so clear to me.

    Ladies and Gentlemen, I present to you the Fall 2024 Tour of our house!

    The Kitchen

    CIJIN. The Kitchen.

    The Bathroom

    The BAFROM

    The Family room

    FFAMLEROM

    The Bedroom for Espy

    BADROM for ESPY

    The Badroom for Mom and Dad

    Badroom for Mom and Dad.

    You’ll note we don’t have a basement or laundry room or living room for that matter. Now that you think of it, if you have a family room and a formal living room, the living room probably hardly gets used anyway.

    Also, the dog didn’t get a mention and she’s pissed.

    Hope you enjoyed the tour!

    TH and Co.

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