Tidy Husband

Eligible for the seniors discount and the Happy Meal deal at the same time.

  1. Ticks and Tylenol

    The Tick

    Here’s the scene: I’m at work in the big blue truck with about 10 more deliveries to go before my weekend starts It was hot. I am tired.

    Then I get this text message from Beautiful Wife:

    Crap. Double Crap. Triple Crap.

    A few more text messages and a call to the Pediatrician and we can breathe. The ticks were not on her long enough for her to be hurt. Today’s tick lesson for you: they have to be on for 36 hours to be a problem. That’s good to know!

    Apparently the situation was not good. There was one found on the back of her leg when she was on the potty and I am told that all the um, “business” stopped and the screaming and tears began.

    I am glad I missed that. By the time I got old blue parked and I was home you would not guess that there was the tick crisis of the summer of 2023

    I am told that the ticks happened because the wee one and her two little friends were playing in the playground and decided that laying down in the grass was a good idea. It turns out it wasn’t because the park is on the edge of a small creek with some wildlife like birds, frogs and turtles and also – ticks!

    The new rule is you can play – but no laying down. Keep it moving. No more tick collecting please

    The Fever

    The following Friday I’m once again at work in the big blue truck with about 10 more houses to go before my weekend starts. It was hot. I am tired.

    Beautiful Wife sends this text:

    The answer was 103.5. Not good folks. not good.

    Of course, the child was miserable and ornery and would not take the Tylenol. The flavor we had of course was the wrong flavor. She wanted Grape flavor.

    A half hour later we had Grape flavor. Thank you Instacart.

    The next trick was trying to get the child to take the Tylenol. No way was the medicine going in the child. Until mommy started to put her shoes on and told her that they were going to the doctors office for medicine and with a needle.

    Tylenol was instantly taken by child. Idle threats work some of the time.

    We got the fever down and we had her wrapped in ice packs in bed to get her to cool down. The Tylenol worked a little too well because due to a 2 am dose the child was awake and full of activity. She wanted breakfast. It was 6 am. I am still tired from all this.

    She wasn’t cured, but was on peak Tylenol and I paid for it at the first light But, I would rather have her feel good. I can sleep when she’s in college.

    The bummer with the fever was it’s timing because Friday was her last day at daycare! Pre-K here we come! We were celebrating. We got all dressed up in a “pretty dress” for the big day:

    and then as the last souvenir from daycare we get just one last bout of sickness as she heads out the door on her way to “big girl school”. It’s a shame. We had more than our share of sick from her friends at daycare over the years we had hoped she was immune to to all the cooties by now but aparrently not.

    The odd part is that despite she had a fever for most of the weekend she was fairly pleasant to be around. I had feared a long weekend with a miserable kid but it didn’t materialize as we had feared.

    We still don’t know the cause of the fever and with a bit of Tylenol in her she’s fine so we are hoping that time, like a lot of other things – will cure this fever too.

    Also, new rule: No more laying on the grass at the park. It’s a dangerous world out there.

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  2. Little Dots

    Once again, I had 4 year old at my side at the ungodly hour of 6:30 very excited to share some news: She got new socks! The Amazon Man Brought them!

    “Oh my gosh. Dad, look at these and these and these! There’s different colors!” So much excitement over socks.

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    But she did have a complaint: There were no dots!

    You know, those little rubber grip dots that they put on the bottom of socks so the kiddos don’t slip and fall. I screwed up apparently.

    To be honest, I didn’t spend a whole lot of time shopping for these and did not notice the lack of dots at all. I fired up the Amazon app and searched for “girls socks for five year olds” and up these came:

    these should do. Or so I thought.

    They were a little over six bucks for 12 pair. That’s 25 cents per sock and considering how they get lost,or eaten by the dog that’s not a horrible price. I bet a lot of the last sock purchase – rubber dots and all – have been either in, or through the dog. How the dog is still alive is beyond me but that’s a story for another day.

    The sock crisis was short-lived and after a few test runs of them in the kitchen and “they’re slippery” comments we were out the door for another day.

    “ I have to show my teacher my new socks” she told me as we were getting into the car.

    Yes, you do.

    There’s no better feeling than a new pair of socks. Even if they don’t have dots.

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  3. B is for Bisexual

    The other day we were in the kitchen and as usual with a 4 yo there’s lots of questions and just lots of talking in general. OMG the talking, it seems to never stop.

    Then out of the blue she said to me:

    “B is for Bisexual” . Yes, my dear it is.

    How far we’ve come. It wasn’t so long ago that the word “fa**ot” was totally acceptable even in pop culture on top 40 radio l ike this song from dire straits. 40 years later and now my 4 yo tells me about the LGBQT+ community – bisexuals included.

    Where did she learn about all this? Tonies.

    Parents, grandparents and caregivers this is your warning. If you have kids and want to save money then whatever you do don’t tell your kid that these exist. You will pay. Literally. A lot.

    Our immersion into Tonieland started harmlessly enough the starter kit as a gift. This included the Tonies box and 1 character to get us started: The “starter kit” comes with the Tonie speaker and a bedtime song version to get the kid hooked.

    Once you figure out how to connect the thing to your WiFi she’s hooked and all other toys are pretty much obsolete now. The initial setup is a bit of a pain as you have to enter secret codes and then your password for your WiFi and do this all through an app and I have found it takes a few tries to get this right. But, once connected to the internet you’re golden.

    This toy is actually pretty well thought out. The speaker works by putting one of these “ characters” on top of the box and there must be a magnet or chip on the bottom and that connects to the base that causes the songs or stories start to play. The “ears” on the box are the volume rocker. It takes no time for the kiddo to figure out how it works which is nice.

    The box is portable and has a battery life of about 7 hours. There’s no screen so the kiddo has to use their imagination. It’s essentially Spotify – but for kids. It’s a pretty neat idea.

    The speaker charges on the base when not in use so it’s ready to go. She hasn’t figured out that it can be used as a portable device anywhere and that it’s only a bedtime thing. I’m not to keen on having “wheels on the bus” at full volume next to me in the living room, or worse – the car. We’re keeping it our secret about the portability

    See how the photo above is of the “starter kit”?. This is because the kit with the bedtime songs character is just the beginning.. There will be more characters. Lots more characters.

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    We are up to 19 Tonies now

    Let’s do the math: The starter kid is $100. Then the other 18 retail at $18 per. 18×18=324. Add the kit and all the characters together and we are pushing $500. For that kind of money I could have got the kid a 55 inch TV and a subscription to the Disney+ and still have some left over.

    When the novelty ends with these I am so selling these on eBay to get some of my money back.

    It’s a good thing she loves these things as much as she does. Every night we do the bathroom/bed routine and then after a story you tuck her in and wait for her to tell you something:

    “Get Out” she says. One must not interrupt the Tonies when they start playing

    The other part that of having these things in the house that is kind of annoying is that she listens to these at full volume lately. You would think she was a half deaf little old lady in her apartment watching The Price is Right at full volume. I can hear the Tonies singing down in my man cave as I type this. How she can fall asleep like that is beyond me.

    This brings us full circle to the “ Bisexual ” statement. Most of the Tonies are what you would expect: Peppa Pig, Olaf, Cinderella, and so on. But there’s one Tonie that’s real popular and it’s this one:

    This is the one…

    I haven’t listened to the entire thing but I’ve heard bits and pieces and there’s songs and stories about the LGBQT+ community and that’s where she picked this up and she also sings some song she picked up that starts with “Pride!!!!” constantly now. Again, at full volume.

    This has obviously got her thinking and combined with learning about spelling you get “B is for Bisexual” statements at the kitchen table now in 2023.

    As it happened we ended up at the Buffalo Pride Parade this weekend and OMG the excitement. We went to the dollar store and she could not contain her excitement when I bought her a rainbow leis and matching pink sunglasses. She had a great time and she danced and sang for a good hour I bet before the attention waned.

    Then we went and had ice cream for lunch. Because I’m the parent of the year.

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  4. Summertime Sadness

    Guys – if you’re ever in doubt. Ask your wife. She will set you straight.

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    Take tonight for example:

    The thermostat is pushing 80 degrees, we’re eating outside on our freshly painted deck and and I comment that “its summer”

    “No it isn’t”, she says.” “Not until June 21”

    Sigh.

    Technically she’s right.[1] But any day I am eating a burger outside after being up on a ladder installing new outdoor security lights all day [2] sure feels like summer to me.

    More signs of non-summer include me fighting the crowds at Home Depot Garden Center to get her “ a few more ” marigolds for out front, which somehow ended up being my job to plant. The ladies went to the park down the street to play with the neighbor kids after our non-summer meal leaving me with the gardening.

    Lastly, I don’t know about you but the little one sure looked like she was dressed for summer in her little pink tie dye skort and pink t-shirt with Disney water shoes while playing with her bubble machine which amazingly still works! [3]

    I have to tell you that for a day that was not summer, I would take this again any day and I can’t hardly wait until the real summer is here.

    Thank you for reading Tidy Husband. This post is public so feel free to share it.

    1. Not that I would ever admit that.
    2. This took me way longer than I had hoped it would.
    3. It survived the blizzard of ‘22 in the back shed.

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  5. Weekend Update Number 1

    I’ve been thinking: I guess I am a daddy blogger? I suppose you would categorize this as a parenting blog but that would assume I I know what I am doing when it comes to parenting which is not the case at all.

    Anyway, Here’s a few tidbits that happened this week that doesn’t really need a complete post:

    1. We needed to have a charcuterie board “to watch Argentina” today while mommy was away for lunch with her friend. I have no idea where she got this idea but she couldn’t talk about anything else Friday night and didn’t get to bed until 11pm because she was so excited. The actual event lasted about 20 minutes until she got bored of the soccer game [1]

    1. We made an ice cream cone. She gets the highlights magazine in the mail and this month was an ice cream cone. It’s not my best effort but she didn’t seem to care.

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    1. Before we leave for school [2] she has to run around the front yard for 20 minutes until I can get her into the car. It takes almost as long to go from the house to the car as the whole getting ready does inside the house.

    see the chew marks from the dog? Yeah…..

    1. I painted the deck. It’s much better now. Next is to re-stain that furniture.

    We got new sparkly sandals this week. We had thought about buying crocs for kids but they were like $35.00 where these were like 8 bucks, and they are fine.

    1. Waiting for mommy to come from the supermarket with the charcuterie supplies.

    1. Stickers are everywhere here. On the floor, on kitchen cupboards and more than a few have been through the dog. I am sure of it.

    Hope you had a great week!

    Thanks for Reading. Remember, Sharing is Caring!

    1. Argentina vs France
    2. daycare, actually.

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