Tidy Husband

Eligible for the seniors discount and the Happy Meal deal at the same time.

  1. What if Pants Had AI?

    The ladies are away for a bit, so while they’re off having adventures, I’m reaching into the archives. These are some of my favourite posts from the past few years. Enjoy.

    This was the question I was asked tonight as I helped with the PJ’s and the nighttime routine. She mentioned that you could just ask your pants for more pockets, and then it dawned on me:

    We could call them SmartyPants®️

    Not only would you be able to add pockets at will, but you could increase the size!

    Had one too many donuts? Ask your pants to adjust!

    “Hey Pants” I could say “Increase!” and just like that I would lose weight as the pants got bigger – not me. This is what the USA needs. We have the big trucks with the big seats and the smart features so I think smart pants are the future folks.

    Think about all the other things that would benefit from AI:

    1. Airplanes. Stuffed like a sardine in Economy? Just ask your seat to evict your neighbor! It’s like business class for free. The airlines would have to book fewer people per flight which in turn would make for even more room.
    2. Food! Go to some fancy restaurant and the portions are too small? Just talk to your plate to add more food! No more dealing with snooty waiters. Waiting for your takeout order to be handed it to you even though you can see it waiting behind the counter? Ask your food to come over and ta-da! – no more waiting.
    3. Exercise. We’re already there anyway with electric bikes and scooters and I haven’t seen a old school pedal-powered bike in forever so this would be a great addition: no more pedaling! Just ask your pants to adjust accordingly due to the lack of pedaling.

    Seriously though – to answer my little one’s question:

    Pants with AI would be a bad idea. We want AI to cure cancer and make life a better place for you. Not write crappy blog posts or auto post to your twitter feed or to help you shop on Amazon or trap you in a support bot hell with a chat bot not helping you at all.

    Hopefully you will not see Smarty Pants:®️ and instead you will see AI provide you with cures for cancer and help people be happier and healthier. That’s what I want you to see with AI in your future.

    Leave the pants out of this.

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  2. Sick with Kids

    The ladies are away for a bit, so while they’re off having adventures, I’m reaching into the archives. These are some of my favourite posts from the past few years. Enjoy.

    I have garnered enough energy to place my fingers on the keyboard tonight to inform you all I am sick. It’s just a common cold and nothing to worry about otherwise. Dayquil is helping.

    Why I am writing about my ailment is that kids don’t care if you’re sick. You could be on death’s door and you still have to care for them. Whomever developed this parenting thing should of thought about this and have a backup plan.

    I can push a button on my phone and get curtains delivered in less than 24 hours. But if I feel so crappy I just want to curl up in a ball because I am a parent I still have to um, parent.

    And being a parent while sick might just be the worst thing ever. This got me to doing some thinking..

    Folks, I present to you my new online internet idea:

    Grandmazon!

    Think about it. Push a button on an app and you get an insured and background checked grandparent to help out.

    I figure why not? They say that the worst thing you can do when you retire is just stop and watch FOX news all day so this would keep our aging population relevant

    We’ve had the neighbor across thew street come over when I had to take BW to the hospital once and because she IS a grandma she didn’t need instructions or emergency phone numbers.

    She looked me straight in the eye and said to me “Don’t worry, I’ve got this”. And she did.

    Because she’s seen all the things with her own children and her own grandchildren too she has the experience. We have an entire generation of aging boomers that need to turn off the TV and and into our homes to read an emergency session of Fox in Socks instead of watching Fox TV.

    This is what the world needs more of: real leaders that can help.

    And of course, bring you a little soup if it wouldn’t be too much of a bother.

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  3. The Hangover

    The ladies are away for a bit, so while they’re off having adventures, I’m reaching into the archives. These are some of my favourite posts from the past few years. Enjoy.

    Pop Quiz time! What happens when you party for days straight and then go on a road trip for 8 hours and get home late?

    You get tired! Really Really Tired!

    Want to know what’s grumpier than a hungover 5-year-old after four days of toys and excitement and too much sugar?

    Yeah, I’m not sure either. Pissed off Tigers? Monkeys, maybe? Border Guards?

    Anyway, I’m just glad I was not home when it happened because all I heard was your daughter was a dumpster fire and would not go to school and get out of bed.

    I’m still kind of in the doghouse due to the sweater incident yesterday so I just took the fall for this one. I know when it’s best to lay low around here.

    Long story short: She missed the bus.

    I’ve been telling the child for a long time that if she is late for school and misses the bus that it’sthree “no fun days” (as they are called here) in a row. You will get on the bus.

    And until today she had a perfect score, and I can’t really blame her as she was exhausted and she just didn’t want to get up in the morning.

    As she was getting driven to school she kept on pleading with BW to “not tell Daddy” because she knew she missed the bus and she knew it would not be good for her when she got home.

    But, I figured I probably had her worrying enough all day about coming home to me and that’s punishment enough. Sometimes the threat looming over her all day works just as well.

    We thought she would be a disaster tonight but it was quite the opposite. We talked about how it was OK to be tired but we have things to do some days and we have to get up when we don’t want to.

    Then we counted how many more sleeps until Santa comes and went to bed at a good time without fuss.

    We downloaded the NORAD Santa Tracker on my phone.

    We are ready Santa – Bring it.

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  4. A Day of Firsts

    The ladies are away for a bit, so while they’re off having adventures, I’m reaching into the archives. These are some of my favourite posts from the past few years. Enjoy.

    First, the bad news:

    You would think that our plumbing fiasco would be over because we’re done now. All fixed, right? Nope. The plumbers can’t read and only did half the work because they can’t read a work order apparently.

    This would explain why things are still backed up when we use anything that requires water. All is well with the flower of water from the house to the middle of the front yard and then water meets the old plumbing (that should not be there) and big surprise – things are still backing up and I have wet socks once again.

    But they should be here tomorrow with the backhoe and by day’s end we should be good to go – literally

    Next, the good news:

    The child took home her first library book today:

    who doesn’t like tacos?

    She still needs this to be read to her as she can’t read this book by herself yet – but it’s a great book to pick as the first book. That’s my girl! – it’s all about the food here.

    We read the book tonight at bedtime and I have to say it’s one strange book!

    This morning we read phonics books and she’s much better with ths

    2500

    That’s the number of Uber rides I have given since I started this gig a year ago. I have learned a few things over the year of doing this.

    1. Multiple stops are never worth it. It’s either a drug deal or kids getting picked up from school where parking can be iffy and parents leave stuff in the back to trap you there. Same goes for “packages” – I have learned that these seem to be food delivered from house to house in the hood and I bet buried in the food somewhere are drugs. Nope.
    2. Booked reservations are not worth it either as it tends to be senior homes or even hospitals booking rides for their patients. I’m an uber driver, not an ambulance service.
    3. You have 2 minutes to come out and get into the car. It’s not a surprise that I am at your door. The app updated you multiple times that I am coming. You should be waiting for me – not vice versa.

    The first star!

    that’s my girl!

    She has no problems with numbers and can count to 20 at least in both English and Spanish so it’s no surprise that she aced it. I was out uber-ing when she came home with this but she was so proud of her first star from her teacher. Me too.

    A quick scoot before school.

    This school thing is working out pretty well for us so far. She makes it to dinnertime and then is so tired she’s pretty much begging for a story and bed and as I write this it’s only about 8-ish and she is out! Kindergarten is rough!

    Lastly, here’s today’s artwork we came home with: Today was all about the color yellow

    note the hair on the passengers

    Until next time…

    TH and Co.

    👍

    Thank you for reading! When you Shop Amazon it helps a lot. Want to know what else helps? Subscribing. It’s free or you choose a paid subscription. Lastly can always buy me a coffee. Thanks for reading! – TH and Co.

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  5. Turkey Mode: Engaged

    The ladies are away for a bit, so while they’re off having adventures, I’m reaching into the archives. These are some of my favourite posts from the past few years. Enjoy.

    As a Canadian I have a tough time with this holiday. It’s on a Thursday. Not a Friday or a Monday where you can squeeze a long weekend out of it but you have one day off then that’s it! Back to work. I don’t get it. That’s not a holiday. That’s a meal and a nap if you’re lucky.

    It’s one of the busiest travel days of the year and I can’t really understand why. You get just one day off! One. Day. Not two or three. One.

    Friday comes and back to work for you. You must work for the monies here in the USA so that you can buy all the things on sale. Maybe that’s the reason.

    She, on the other hand has drawn or come home with a new turkey every day.

    We are in full on Turkey Mode.

    And here’s the kicker: Even though the actual holiday is just one day, she is out of school for 4 this week and 5 the next week.

    She’s been home 3.5 days by the end of the weekend and then she goes to school for 2 days and then is off for five days in a row.

    That’s a lot of days of “Hey, Dad” on repeat.

    I know what I will be thankful for: A full week of school again.

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