Tidy Husband

Eligible for the seniors discount and the Happy Meal deal at the same time.

  1. The Towel Warmer

    The ladies are away for a bit, so while they’re off having adventures, I’m reaching into the archives. These are some of my favourite posts from the past few years. Enjoy.

    I had another post in the queue for today but that will have to wait because I want to share that it’s not all sunshine and unicorns. Sometimes it’s about the silliest things.

    Tonight’s tantrum was brought to you by the towel warmer.

    First, we are partly to blame here as she does not like change, and we changed it up and when you’re five that is not allowed. Stay on course, you, people.

    I was downstairs when I told BW that I would clean up if she wanted to get some PJs on the wee one and we can stop for the day as she’s fading fast. Deal, she said.

    On the way up to the bedroom, it was determined that we could not remember the last time the child had a bath or shower, and it was decided that one was needed.

    Cue the screaming. Again, don’t change things up on her. She does not like that. You would think we would learn.

    I come upstairs to see what is going on and she’s giving mommy a tough time and so I take over and make it a quick shower. A quick rinse of the hair and Hiney and we’re out of there.

    While I was showering her up, BW told her that she would warm the towel in the towel warmer for her.

    This is a Towel Warmer

    You too can spoil your family members for less than you think.

    Check Price

    We’re pretty bougie here to have a towel warmer. I always forget about it because the only place we can plug it in is in BW’s office across the hall from the bathroom. which is far from optimal. This means one of two things must happen:

    1. It becomes a 2-person production: One to do the showering, and another to get the towel. This is okay with BW and I because, well, you get the idea. This does not work if there’s a houseguest in the shower and unless they bring their own valet nobody else is going to get the towel for them and dry them off.
    2. I hop out of a perfectly warm shower and drip across the hallway naked hoping that nobody sees, and I don’t slip and fall on the wet floor. Then there’s the cleanup afterwards. It’s just not worth it for a warm towel. Too much risk for too little reward

    If we had one of those bathrooms that somehow the mommy bloggers are writing about or pinning to their Pinterest account I could see the attraction of the towel warmer, but we don’t.

    Back to the story: Child is clean, mommy grabs the warm towel and hands it to me and I proceed to wrap it around the kiddo. All good, right?

    Oh. No.

    She goes crazy! It was not good. There is red faced screaming and stamping of feet in the tub. We just wanted to get her to calm down because she was stomping and storming in a slippery bathtub and she still has a broken arm and we didn’t want to have to back to the hospital because she fell again.

    Despite our best efforts she could just not calm down:

    I WANT A WARM TOWEL!

    I WANT A WARM TOWEL!

    I WANT A WARM TOWEL!

    There was no warm towel. It was not coming. This is not the Holiday Inn. You’re lucky to even have the option of a warm towel, my child. This is the towel, and this towel gets colder the longer you scream.

    There’s no stopping her once she gets something in her head. We were doing great until we were not, and it all went sideways

    Like a lot of things, time heals all and over time she settled down and we got back to the bedtime routine because by this time she was exhausted and was practically begging for bed.

    I tucked her in, turned off the light and haven’t heard a peep from her since.

    Keep Warm and Dry,

    Tidy Husband and Co.

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  2. Ticks and Tylenol

    The ladies are away for a bit, so while they’re off having adventures, I’m reaching into the archives. These are some of my favourite posts from the past few years. Enjoy.

    The Tick

    Here’s the scene: I’m at work in the big blue truck with about 10 more deliveries to go before my weekend starts It was hot. I am tired.

    Then I get this text message from Beautiful Wife:

    Crap. Double Crap. Triple Crap.

    A few more text messages and a call to the Pediatrician and we can breathe. The ticks were not on her long enough for her to be hurt. Today’s tick lesson for you: they have to be on for 36 hours to be a problem. That’s good to know!

    Apparently the situation was not good. There was one found on the back of her leg when she was on the potty and I am told that all the um, “business” stopped and the screaming and tears began.

    I am glad I missed that. By the time I got old blue parked and I was home you would not guess that there was the tick crisis of the summer of 2023

    I am told that the ticks happened because the wee one and her two little friends were playing in the playground and decided that laying down in the grass was a good idea. It turns out it wasn’t because the park is on the edge of a small creek with some wildlife like birds, frogs and turtles and also  – ticks!

    The new rule is you can play – but no laying down. Keep it moving.  No more tick collecting please

    The Fever

    The following Friday  I’m once again at work in the big blue truck with about 10 more houses to go before my weekend starts. It was hot. I am tired.

    Beautiful Wife sends this text:

    The answer was 103.5. Not good folks. not good.

    Of course, the child was miserable and ornery and would not take the Tylenol. The flavor we had of course was the wrong flavor. She wanted Grape flavor.

    A half hour later we had Grape flavor. Thank you Instacart.

    The next trick was trying to get the child to take the Tylenol. No way was the medicine going in the child. Until mommy started to put her shoes on and told her that they were going to the doctors office for medicine and with a needle.

    Tylenol was instantly taken by child. Idle threats work some of the time.

    We got the fever down and we had her wrapped in ice packs in bed to get her to cool down. The Tylenol worked a little too well because due to a 2 am dose the child was awake and full of activity. She wanted breakfast. It was 6 am. I am still tired from all this.

    She wasn’t cured, but was on peak Tylenol and I paid for it at the first light But, I would rather have her feel good. I can sleep when she’s in college.

    The bummer with the fever was it’s timing because Friday was her last day at daycare! Pre-K here we come! We were celebrating. We got all dressed up in a “pretty dress” for the big day:

    and then as the last souvenir from daycare we get just one last bout of sickness as she heads out the door on her way to “big girl school”. It’s a shame. We had more than  our share of sick from her friends at daycare over the years we had hoped she was immune to to all the cooties by now but aparrently not.

    The odd part is that despite she had a fever for most of the weekend she was fairly pleasant to be around. I had feared a long weekend with a miserable kid but it didn’t materialize as we had feared.

    We still don’t know the cause of the fever and with a bit of Tylenol in her she’s fine so we are hoping that time, like a lot of other things – will cure this fever too.

    Also, new rule: No more laying on the grass at the park. It’s a dangerous world out there.

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  3. Dear Monday

    The ladies are away for a bit, so while they’re off having adventures, I’m reaching into the archives. These are some of my favourite posts from the past few years. Enjoy.

    —-

    Dear Monday,

    It’s been a week almost since we talked but boy am I glad to see you on the horizon. In fact, it’s been two weeks since we got to our normal routine due to the holiday and I have to say that I am glad you’re back. Really, really, glad

    I think you’ve gotten a bad rap over the years. Friday gets all the credit when it should be Monday that gets celebrated.

    There’s more than one song about you and how you’re not liked, and I don’t think that’s fair. You should get more credit for all you do. You’re the start of the work week (and school!). You’re the best. In fact you’re better than that. You are loved.

    I Love You

    Why this profession of my love? Because on Monday it’s been determined that it’s the start of the week and that means the children go back to school.

    And when they are in school, they are somebody else’s problem. Somebody other than me is in charge of my little charge. I have had a very long day full of “Hey Dad’s” and I just want a little break to have a single thought in my head uninterrupted. I want to potty in peace.

    And so I thought of you, and how you’re so awesome that you come along and take my child away from me if only for a few hours. (Once I get her fed and clothed and on the bus – that’s one area you could work on)

    You can pick up the Play-Doh and the crumbs and answer how to spell words ad nauseum and get asked to play “let’s pretend” for the umpteenth time. You can deal with the “I don’t wannas” and the “no’s” and even the full-on meltdown screaming fits I have experienced this weekend while you were away. You can read books and get water and make pancakes for breakfast.

    You can fold laundry and sweep floors and find snacks and matching pairs of socks and fight getting into baths and how it’s the wrong shampoo.

    You’ve got this, Monday. You had all week to rest and get ready for the big day. You only have one day where you have to take care of things. Tuesday is a lazy bum, and Wednesday gets all the credit for being the mid-week hero,m and Thursday is envious of Friday, but you’re the one we rely on to get things started for the week.

    You’ve got this. I’m counting on you.

    PS> Don’t forget I packed her a mid-morning snack and her homework is in the big bag she needs to hand in at school.

    PPS> She needs to be home at 3:48. Please don’t be late.

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  4. Ready for Takeoff

    I have a little over 12 hours to go before I have to say goodbye to the ladies for 2.5 months.

    the little stuffed bumblebee is staying behind.

    I have mixed emotions.

    On one hand, I’m my own boss.

    On the other hand, being your own boss gets old after the third frozen pizza and you start talking to the dog like it’s a real person.

    Today the child had a little going away party with her classmates at school and we shared popsicles and watched a little youtube movie about Argentina1 and then a few goodbyes and we were home trying to make four suitcases worth of stuff fit into three. Not sure how, but we did it.

    The child has her own backpack to carry with her tablet and supplies for the plane and then they are off. The leave noon tomorrow and then they arrive at 6am the next day - 3 planes and four airports later.

    We’re ready Argentina. The question is - are you?

    Oh, speaking of taking off.:

    This is going to be my last post here while they’re gone.

    This is a favor to you because the Dog and I are really boring and with the two main characters gone for a few months, not much is going to happen - unless you count pizza box stacking as news.

    So, in lieu of the day to day stories, I have lined up past stories from the archives to entertain you in their absence. I’ll probably pop in here and there with updates on the adventures there but until they get back the dog and I will be on the couch.

    Until next time.

    TH and Co.

    1

    It’s all about the meat.

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  5. The Warp Wall

    The ninja class has a wall.

    photo of gray-and-orange New Balance Encap shoes on floor

    Photo by Linda Xu on Unsplash

    It’s not a straight wall.

    It’s a curved wall. One where the athletic folks easily jump up, and grab the top and hoist themselves up it.

    I think. I’ve never done it and nobody in my family has.

    Until today:

    It’s getting near the end of the season for her class so tonight she had a practice test and I almost didn’t bother watching because in the past it’s been too painful to watch her crawl haflway up and then do the slide of shame to a crumpled ball at the bottom.

    But tonight. Tonight it was game on and my little ninja ran towards the warp wall and heaved her up to the top (well, grabbed on) and I could not be more proud because I figured that wall was for the other kids with actual athletic ability and I thought we would never see the peak of this orange mountain.

    I was wrong.

    As the cool kids say: level unlocked.

    Until next time,

    TH and Co.

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