Tidy Husband

Eligible for the seniors discount and the Happy Meal deal at the same time.

  1. The To Do List

    On a rainy Saturday the ladies tried to go to the park but it started to rain so they ended up at the dollar store.

    And on a whim BW picked up a dry-erase to-do list. I think originally it was bought with the intention of going in her office. It didn’t make it.

    We started joking that we should use it for my todo list. Whoa - back it up…. my list?

    And before I could get word in edgewise - there was a list.

    my own personal make work project.

    The list was small. While BW and Child are away for close to 3 months there are just two tasks that need done:

    1. clean the windows.
    2. sharpen the kitchen knives

    Both are fairly easy. It’s not like have to get a ladder out for the window cleaning and the knife sharpening takes minutes not hours.

    We had a good laugh at my expense and moved on. That is, until the child realized there was a new thing in the house. And then just like that - it was hers.

    And the list got bigger. There are now sections folks. I think BW gets off pretty easy and the child somehow has NO list of things she needs to do - like clean her room - that’s happening tomorrow, list or no.

    The Child also decided that the list for me was too small and so now I have to:

    1. sweep the stairs
    2. clean the sink 1
    3. Play with her.

    My answer to all my to-do list makers in the house: Number 5? No problem, I’ve got you.

    The others? Your mileage may vary. I’m hoping you forget by the time you get back because these jobs will interfere with the one and only thing I plan on doing while you are gone:

    Nap on the Couch.

    Until Next Time,

    TH and Co.

    1. I have no idea where this came from. our sink is clean. promise. ↩

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  2. Signs of Summer

    We have a bandage on a knee.

    electric scooters beside street

    Photo by Jan Antonin Kolar on Unsplash

    I come home and get told there was an “accident”. Oh boy.

    What do you get when you mix a nice day, a scooter and a clumsy 7-year-old?

    A skinned knee.

    She’s seven and just like it takes me a few times on the grill so I don’t make our burgers little charcoal patties - a skinned knee in the spring is almost a given for a 7-year old scooter-er She was wearing her helmet so that’s good.

    You know, it’s funny - kids put on helmets when they ride their bikes like we put on seat belts now in the car. It just happens.

    Anyway - child scrapes knee. News at 11.

    I really want to show you what I came home to. This was on the driveway today when I pulled up:

    • Towel? Check.
    • Disco Ball Water Bottle? Check
    • Sun Hat? Check.
    • Doffed Socks? Check
    • Insect Book? You bet

    We’re ready summer - we have the scooter, scraped knees and we are outside with no socks. Bring it.

    Now I just need to figure out how to work the grill again..

    Until Next Time,

    TH and Co.

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  3. Rocky

    A few weeks back BW went on our annual date. 1

    May include: A large, plush brown spider-shaped chair with six legs. The chair has green accents on the joints and body. The soft, textured material gives the chair a unique, whimsical appearance. The chair is designed for seating.

    image source

    And then she came home, started shopping on her phone and found this stuffed rocky on the internet.

    “I must have this” she tells me.

    “Okay, whatever”. I tell her. 2

    Because it comes from China it was pretty much forgotten about - by me anyway.

    Today this stuffed toy shows up and it looks like the picture. No surprises.

    The surprises happened when the child saw it when she came home for school.

    Gasps of delight were heard, eyes opened wide. She had to have it.

    For those that are keeping score - so far we have one stuffed animal that both ladies in the house are interested in.3

    Of course when the child sees this thing without any context the first words out of the child’s mouth were “what is that!?”

    BW fired up YouTube and showed her a few trailers of the movie with rocky in it.

    Rocky is now the child’s. Rocky now lives under a glass trifle bowl and has a very fond admirer in the form of the child. “Oh rocky”, she coos to it.

    BW is a little miffed that the child has taken to rocky because she bought it for herself and not the child. So now, when the child is asleep BW takes rocky off the shelf and places it on her shelf.

    Folks, we have a custody battle over a stuffed animal. This is why I write here - you can’t make this stuff up.

    Here’s my suggestion: See the movie if you haven’t. Don’t buy any stuffed rocky toys unless you’re up to buying one for each member of the family.

    Meanwhile, the dog is just waiting for rocky to be left on the floor somewhere so she can now look up from inside her crate and say “mine now”

    It’s just a matter of when, not if.

    Until Next Time,

    TH and Co.

    1. I’m very romantic.:) ↩

    2. I’m very interested. ↩

    3. actually 3 as the dog has been eyeing it too. ↩

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  4. That Time We Got Caught in the Rain.

    BW doesn’t like McDonald’s

    red and white mcdonalds fries pack

    Photo by Lucas van Oort on Unsplash

    For obvious reasons.

    The child of course, loves it.

    We rarely go because on a good day it’s a passable meal.

    So we do what every child does: Lie our pants off when the two of us go to McDonald’s.

    You see, BW had a very important online meeting at dinnertime tonight that required less family in the house than usual (the dog got to stay) so after we went to ninja class where she bounces and swings and jumps for 45 minutes, I told the child we were going to the Golden Arches for dinner.

    “Does mommy know?”, she asked with eyes big and wide.

    “No.”, I said (a lie - she knew)

    There was jumping for joy and then when we got into the car we placed our order in the app.

    Oddly enough she didn’t have a fit when we found out the k-pop hunters meal was out of stock and she was good with a plain old happy meal - our usual.

    We get the order, and then sit down and plan our lie - We will tell her we went to the salad bar and they just happened to have Mario Brothers toys. Yeah, that will do it.

    We then had to get new shoes where she picked the exact same show for the most part as what she had so there’s no news here really - we went to skechers and came out with a pair of shoes for her that look the same, are a lot cleaner and fit better.

    We walk out of the shoe store and it starts to pour rain. POUR.

    Lucky for us we were right next door to a TJ Maxx and look what we found:

    We made it home high and dry with new shoes and just a little dad/daughter secret and maybe a few french fries under our belts.

    Don’t tell BW.

    We’re begging you.

    Until Next Time,

    TH and Co.

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  5. We Walked Around the Block

    80 calories.

    That’s all I burned.

    I walked over a mile with her jabbering on about how if she scoots down low and tells me how the grass look taller when you scrunch down. I told her that’s not the way to use a scooter.

    a bunch of scooters that are sitting in the street

    Photo by jens schwan on Unsplash

    “Carson does it”, she tells me.

    Oh. Well then - if Carson says it, it must be true.

    Those two are a piece of work. She comes home from school and tosses her backpack and then asks: “Can I go to Carsons?”

    Of COURSE you can go because now you will BE AT CARSONs’s and the house will be quiet.

    They came back five minute later and opened the door to tell me that Carson has to go home at five - as if Carson doesn’t have a watch 1 - and I am their personal secretary. 2

    Five O’Clock rolls around and I poke my head outside to tell Carson to go home and they have found every stick in the neighborhood and it’s piled bonfire-style in the center of the driveway. It’s a good think I came out when I did because I’m sure Carson would light it on fire if came across a match.

    The walk happened after dinner. She had been dying to go but it’s been too wet, windy or late to go until tonight and it was nice, just the two of us - at one point she was singing at the top of her lungs as we passed other neighbors 3 out for a walk. I am supposed to be the old Dad embarassing her, not the other way around.

    So. I walked a mile today. On purpose. I have fitbit, so I even have proof. News at 11.

    Walks were had, songs were sung and fires were almost made in our driveway.

    Just another day here.

    Until Next Time,

    TH and Co.

    1. he does - spiderman of course. ↩

    2. I am. ↩

    3. they are probably trying to figure out where all the dead branches on their lawn went to. Answer - our driveway. ↩

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