Tidy Husband

Eligible for the seniors discount and the Happy Meal deal at the same time.

  1. Six Hundred

    I had dabbled with writing in the past.

    a black and white photo of the word boo on a machine

    Photo by Scott Rodgerson on Unsplash

    I had started an earlier version of Tidy Husband when we just got married and like a lot of my projects - I stuck with it for a while but then lost interest. The writing I mean - we’re still happily married and I am still in love. 1

    The version you’re reading right now almost shared the same fate. Sure, I would start again and then post periodically but with no regular cadence or audience.

    Then she started school and got on that school bus for the first time:

    And I wrote a post about it.

    The next day, she went back to school so I wrote another.

    And then I just kept on writing every day.

    No magic, no plan - just a goal to write every day and so far, it’s stuck.

    600 TIMES IN A ROW, it stuck.

    I write when I am sick - I write from hotel rooms on my phone 2 at Great Wolf Lodge and so, so many posts from the kitchen table in little spurts because I keep getting interrupted. Nobody in this family has any idea what a flow state is I tell you.

    Every night at about 8:30-ish I open up a laptop or a phone or whatever tool and start writing. Most days I have no idea what to write about and some days that shows.

    Sometimes I am so, so tired I do not want to write - I write anyway.

    Why? It’s actually kind of fun when you have something to share and none of us are that boring that we don’t have a story to tell of some sort by day’s end and with the child there really is never an end to the stories.

    I mostly write about the child and the stories have changed over the year or so I have been doing this. When I began it was all one theme: GO TO BED.

    Now the bedtime routine is easier and so theme and stories are changing too.

    I guess that’s why I keep at it - to document the little changes that are day to day that otherwise would skip us by.

    Google still doesn’t know I am here, and neither do the other 9 billion people in the world, but here I am every night writing about bedtimes and crafts and…

    zoo camp over spring break had an impact. I am not sure what that impact is exactly…

    Guess the Poop games! It’s like trivial pursuit - but smellier.

    Let me know if you got all the answers right in the comments

    For the 600th time:

    Until Next time,

    TH and Co.

    1. whew. good thing I came back to edit that sentence. ↩

    2. not a great writing experience. do not recommend. ↩

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  2. Give Me A Break

    It was a week of no school.

    and boy, the fun we had. Here’s a list. I like lists.

    1. We played a game called “text me”
    2. The Easter Bunny tried to control my bedtimes
    3. The Easter Bunny wakes up really early.
    4. She went to zoo camp and I went back to bed.
    5. She watched a Gorilla Poop.
    6. She flew a kite
    7. Kite ended up in a tree
    8. She had fun. I paid to have fun. I did not have fun.
    9. She had a meltdown. I had pancakes.
    10. Today? We did nothing.

    Well..not exactly nothing but close, she got up early and played with modeling clay and fed herself. I slept in way too late and yet surprisingly tired now.

    The child went over to Carson’s for a change today because we love Carson, but boy oh boy does it get noisy here and today was quiet day and we all just did what we wanted for the most part. It was a family Sunday at home. Not every day has be like disneyland.

    But tomorrow it starts, the early wakeups and the “You’re going to miss the bus” and you know what - I have just one thing to say:

    THANK GOD.

    Until next time,

    TH and Co.

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  3. What Do You Mean You Don't Want to Go?

    I started out a fine morning. I made pancakes.

    tray of hotcakes

    Photo by Mae Mu on Unsplash

    Then as I was making the pancakes - the protest began.

    The theme essentially was - she didn’t want to. I don’t think it mattered on the what, but for whatever reason she decided that she was not going to do it. It didn’t matter what the it was.

    The “it” of the moment was the plan for the day. BW and the child were going to go for empanadas at a little corner restaurant that opened and meet a friend. For reasons I a not sure this was not up to the child’s future.

    Let’s backup a bit here: She did not want to have either pancakes or empanadas.

    I don’t think she’s our child. OF COURSE you want to go - what is wrong with you?

    Cue the screaming from the child. We haven’t seen the screaming lately but it’s still here apparently and it reared it’s ugly head and boy is it ugly. The child gets bright red and as she settles down her face gets all splotchy. There’s no not telling she’s been crying.

    So. The tablet went away. FOR THE DAY.

    When that happens, she knows she’s on Dad’s shit list. Dad lets a lot slide but having a fit over not wanting to go out and eat for lunch with the ladies is not acceptable.

    The rest of the day was good as gold, the ladies went for lunch and went to the craft supply store and then came home and well, crafted.

    Me? I ubered in my nice quiet car with my coffee and music on. No screaming.

    I have to admit I was afraid to come home, but the child knew she was on borrowed time and for the rest of the day was almost comically well-behaved.

    Me? I had a salami sandwich in the car.

    I did get to have pancakes for breakfast - so there’s that.

    Until Next Time,

    TH and Co.

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  4. Today I Paid 7 Dollars to Watch My Child Play

    Today we went to a place called Play U. I have written about it’s sister site at the old abandoned mall before and since last we went it looks like they combined the bouncy house place and this play U into one big playground for kids with arcades, mini golf, bouncy houses, batting cages - even a real indoor soccer field.

    It’s nice. we had fun. That’s not the problem.

    I have no complaints about the venue or the trip. We were there for 2 and a half hours and we only left because we got hungry as we had missed lunch.

    My beef is with the pricing: Like the title says, I paid money to watch her play indoors.

    It cost 15 bucks for her, and 7 bucks for me = 22.00. I don’t have a beef with the cost either. Nobody rides for free. I get it.

    My complaint is you charged me a fee for no value. It’s not like i am going to go in the bouncy house with her or dress up or even play with the legos. My one job is to make sure she has fun and exercise and to get her away from the screen for a few hours today.

    We had the kite but that did not end well so we had to find alternative entertainment for today because she is still home from school.

    This is not the way to do this long term if you ask me because as a parent that has to pay to trail behind the child to the chorus of “Dad, watch me” over and over again. I have already paid. One can only play doctor for so long there - or dress up.

    BTW we also have those things at home and I could have saved the 20 bucks and I would have been closer to my own bathroom and coffee maker if the need be.

    In my mind the 7 dollar charge from Play U is a big F*** U.

    Play U - if you’re reading - just jack the rate to $22.00 a kid and be done with it. Offer a discount for two or more kids and we would be all like “take our money!”

    I wanted the sizzle, but you sold me the steak.

    The restaurants have this figured out. Kids eats free is the same thing - a lie - the restaurants eat the cost of 4 chicken nuggets and instead sell a bowl of spaghetti for 30 bucks each to mom and dad.

    There’s no such thing as free, it’s just hidden.

    Play U, if you’re listening - hide the parent surcharge in the kid’s admission. We will think we’ll be getting a deal because 22 bucks is a small price to pay for a happier child but I’m not happy I had to pay 7 bucks to get there.

    Thankfully, school starts Monday and she’ll be back to the real University on Monday morning. Wait! now that I think of it - this is another example where the school is advertised as “free”, but if you’ve ever paid taxes you know that’s not the truth.

    There’s no such thing as a free ride - it doesn’t matter if it’s on the school bus or down a slide on a bouncy house. We all pay.

    The trick is to make us feel like we’re getting value when we have our wallets out.

    And today? I wasn’t feeling it.

    Until next time,

    TH and Co.

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  5. The Kite Got Stuck in a Tree

    It had to happen.

    A colorful kite stuck in a bare tree

    Photo by Pic Kaca on Unsplash. Not our kite - or tree. Same result though.

    The kite got stuck in a tree.

    About 3pm little Carson came over to play and then a few minutes later I get a text message from BW:

    I tell her where it is and then she replies that she sent them outside with the kite and the wind to play - and that it is awesome - and it is.

    Then about a half an hour later:

    That sounds about right. Give two silly kids a kite on an unseasonably warm April afternoon and a bit of wind in an older tree-filled neighborhood and you get — the end of the kite.

    There was apparently a bit of disappointment that I missed - but not much.

    BW tells me that for a good half an hour or so two best friends played and screeched with joy with a kite in the air with just a string and some wind.

    No TV, no video games no constant stimulation - just a cheap kite from the dollar store on a perfect spring day and a good friend to help you get it flying in the air.

    Does it get much better than that?

    I don’t think so.

    Until Next Time,

    TH and Co.

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