Tidy Husband

Eligible for the seniors discount and the Happy Meal deal at the same time.

  1. The New Park Needs Work

    She was outside today more than she was in front of the screen.

    multicolored playground slide during daytime

    Photo by Power Lai on Unsplash

    You will want to read that again. OUTSIDE.

    out. side.

    Not glued to “Mr. Beast” or whatever YouTube video she was usually glued to. That’s not to say we lived a tablet free lifestyle today because we did not. But she was outside at the new park play set a LOT.

    Best part of the new playground? They put it closer to the street.

    Worst part of the new playground? They put it closer to the street.

    Let me explain

    The Best Part

    This is easy. It’s new, and has four slides and things to climb and spin and it even has a bridge from one part. Instead of a sad little set of monkey bars with a old piping hot metal slide tacked on, the kids now can play on sets from all age groups. The baby slides and things for the fine motor skills and then the big kids will appreciate the built in table to sit at and gossip and laugh.

    But the best part is that we can now look out our living room window and see the park. Dad may only have one eye that works well, but he’s watching and he loves that he can watch her at the park without having to be at the park to watch.

    Then finally, it’s the kids. I don’t know what happened, but there seems to be kids there almost all the time! Before you would think this neighborhood did not have any kids at all, and now we realize that it does and the children just needed a safe place to play

    This brings us to …

    The Worst Part

    The play set is closer to the street. Now I would guess about 100ft from the new playset to street. Before, with the old play set it was set back a lot further into the park. I would guess about 5 times as more distance from slides to street.

    Here’s the problem. This new play set came due to a new neighborhood that propped up at the end of what used to be a dead end. The kids are used to the dead end and the park was at the very end of the dead end so the street and park blurred and sometimes play happened in the dead area at the end of the street, because play does not happen in a straight line.

    Now this is where I put on my “old man, get off my lawn” hat and complain about the town:

    Kids and Cars are a bad mix. Drivers are distracted due to screens and kids are distracted because…they are kids.

    It’s our feeling here that where the dead end was - and is now the entrance to the park - there should be a cross walk with at very least a stop sign. The town did not do this. The stop sign is at the the end of the new street - it needs to be at the start - the area where kids play - speed should slow to a crawl here because: kids play 100 feet away! This is not hard to understand.

    The town put up the yellow kids at play/crosswalk warning signs. These do not work. I know this because I see the cars drive by at full speed all day and every day. Warning signs are just that - warning signs - and people don’t stop for warning signs. I don’t want to see anybody get hurt.

    I can’t believe that the town got this playground SO RIGHT and yet at the same time SO WRONG.

    The kids need both a safe place to play and a safe way to get there and home safely, and our town council only got the first part right. I really, really, really hope I am not right about the 2nd.

    Until Next Time,

    TH and Co.

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  2. Living in the Garage

    For YEARS, BW and I have driven down our neighborhood and noticed one thing:

    A white truck parked in a garage next to a garage door

    Photo by Brian Wangenheim on Unsplash

    The folks in our neighborhood use their garages for storage- and okay, we get that because: stuff. But a lot of times they will sit in their garage and we thought that was weird but whatever. Then we realized that some actually had screen doors over their garage doors and even couches and TV’s and carpets.

    Even weirder.

    Then, we tried it.

    By accident.

    As I write this we have 22 solar panels, 2 scooters, a power washer, kids bike and about 300 pairs of shoes at the door. Oh, and a garden hose and extension cord to trip over.

    We used to have room for BW’s car. This is temporary due to the solar panels because in a couple of weeks they go back on the roof and the bikes and shoes get tidied up and the then the car goes back to where it belongs.

    We think.

    Becuase, now we’ve become one of them - the great western new york garage dweller, and I think we are on to something. Now, this won’t have as much attraction in December in Buffalo as it did today on a cool summer’s day but now we can see how the Jone’s are living and maybe, just maybe we have been wrong about the Jones’

    And we’re just new at this - no outdoor TVs or sofas or carpets. We found our collapsible lawn chairs and brought our coffee out in the morning and we wait with the child for the school bus, and in the afternoon, BW was there again this afternoon waiting for the bus, and it was my turn to garage dwell yesterday on school bus arrival.

    This, for the time being has become a thing.

    In fact, when I got home from Ubering BW was still in the garage with her laptop and the child was inside on the tablet. It was getting dark almost before BW came back inside.

    Up until today, I never understood why people would sit in their garage when they have nice big houses with climate control, decks with ubmrellas, etc -and yet choose to sit in their garage.

    But now, we know.

    Now, we’re one of them.

    For a few more weeks until the Solar Panels go back up. After that,, we’ll see.

    Until Next Time,

    TH and Co.

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  3. First Day of Second Grade

    Up at 7am, dressed and not interested in breakfast at 7:06am

    Dad was not awake and dressed at 7:06 am. Dad already went to school once.

    But he got his act together and after some coffee he packed her a snack and tried to get her to eat something - a granola bar is better than nothing so we went with that.

    The bus was not going to show up until 8:13 yet she was outside nervously pacing and singing and dancing a good half an hour before it came.

    Then we remembered the back to school sign!

    I had completely forgotten about it but then I remembered our trip to the dollar store ended up being $30 because of course we found other stuff to put in our cart so yeah, here’s what 30 bucks and an afternoon in late august gets you. A very expensive back to school sign:

    At the end of the day, the bus was late. Almost a half an hour late. I am pretty sure our bus driver is new as well so everybody was learning as they went today. But she got home safely and told me that the school was hot.

    Her back back was filled with back to school papers and forms and also she has a homework book. HOMEWORK. Dad is not ready for homework. Homework is hard and hard is upset and tears or outright refusal and none of these are things Dad is looking forward to.

    Gone are the carefree days of first grade where she would come home with finger painting. Her assignment today was read for 20 minutes, listen to music for 10 and then drink water.

    The last one seemed an odd choice, but hey - we’re just following directions here. She only did about 10 minutes of reading and I am pretty sure she may have dozed off for a second.

    I told her it’s best to get the homework out of the way right away - a quick snack when you get home and then homework. After it’s done you can go out and play.

    And play she did. I have no freaking idea where these kids were all summer but tonight the were all at the park with the new playground set so maybe word got out at school, but they were all there tonight and she stayed out for a good hour so as one can imagine the bedtime routine was pretty agreeable from her tonight as she was at the begging for mercy stage by the time she hit the sheets. If only every bedtime was this easy.

    Tomorrow she gets to go to school again and I think it’s ART day there and if there’s one person in this household who loves art - it’s her.

    No meltdowns, no clinging to legs, no screaming. Just happily getting on the bus and other than being tired after a full first day - so far Grade 2 is a win.

    Until Next Time,

    TH and Co.

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  4. The 2nd Grade is Here

    Today, all 3 of us went to school.

    The first day is tomorrow for her, but we went today to drop off supplies and to meet the teacher. There’s just one kid she knows in her class and that’s okay because she will make friends.

    Once we got the supplies sorted, unlike the other normal families - we walked around the school and poked our nose into any interesting room and we met the gym teacher, music teacher, art teacher and probably most importantly: the school nurse.

    Not only is it a brand new school year in hours from now but it’s also a brand new school too so tomorrow is all new. The only thing that stays the same is the bus picks her up at the end of the driveway and she gets fed for free at lunch again this year.

    Everything else? New and scary and fun and overwhelming and nervous all at the same time, but I think the visit helped a lot for her because she now knows what to expect, where to go and what to bring.

    We’re all packed up and ready to go for the big day.

    Two years goes by fast - just look how little she was starting kindergarten!

    She had a great summer. Not every 7 year old goes away for a couple a months and comes back speaking a new language and experienced all she did this summer.

    But now it’s over and there’s a lot more to learn.

    Happy 2nd Grade Eve,

    TH and Co.

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  5. What Are We Going to Do Today?

    “kBYEILOVEYOU”, - and just like that BW left the child and I alone together along with the dog and the ultimate question:

    NOW WHAT DO WE DO?

    I looked at the child, then the dog. Neither were giving me an answer on how to fill our day so I just tried to avoid them both and drink coffee. I figured if I ignored them long enough - they would figure things out on their own.

    They did not figure it out.

    It wasn’t even 9 am and I was getting questions about what to do as if I was Julie on the Love Boat.

    Like I have any idea. It’s a Tuesday in September. The child should be in school and the dog just needs to be somewhere else than trying to climb in my lap.

    But, here we are. Together with the entire day spread out ahead of us like the peanut butter on the half eaten sandwich I picked up off the counter earlier. We looked outside. Hot, humid - but not raining despite the forecast.

    I guess we could go outside and then take it from there. She got dressed, and plopped the helmet on her pretty head and grabbed her stroller and we were off to wander the new subdivision they were building and check the status of the new playground equipment they are installing on the corner, thanks to the new development.

    My watch finally woke up about half a mile in and asked me if I was walking? OF COURSE I am walking. I’ve been walking for half a mile and only now do you realize that this is not my normal activity? It has a GPS. I am a half mile from the couch..

    It was hot. and humid. Which is perfect if you’re in a pool on vacation, but not so good if you’re on the world’s slowest walk because you have to watch for cars, stop and ask questions about the little “call before you dig” flags they put in the ground: “But why to they have to put little flags in the ground”, I got asked more than once.

    We made it a full lap around the big block in Pleasantville and then we were going to do another lap when she decided that maybe she was getting a little worn out and we should take a break. I gave her a drink of water and we limped back to the house to refresh and turn the air conditioning on.

    She took a break, and then we tidied up together. She mad her bed - actually she attempted to make her bed but considering the comforter weighs more than she does I’m okay with this and I’m calling it a win.

    Before we knew it - lunchtime! I suggested she take an old towel and go outside and have a picnic. I packed her a wrap and a pepper and told her if she ate the wrap we could talk about ice cream later.

    I joined her on the lawn and we talked to our neighbors, waved at others and then she started to play with the tree. I told her that our tree isn’t really the swinging tree. Then she looked at me and said” I have an idea” and disappeared inside.

    A competent parent might have at least asked what she was going to do, but I didn’t smell smoke so I lay back in the chair and waited until she came back with a Pinata she made - from a cereal box no less.

    She has a multiple hundred dollar video game console. We played with a cereal box that was relieved of it’s contents and filled with stale old candy, and it was the best thing ever.

    Then, the ice cream cone. A deal is a deal. Also, don’t tell mommy.

    We sat and she hummed and ate her cone and I lay back in the sunshine and listened to the hum of a warm and humid summer day.

    With ice cream comes stickyness and so then we got the hose. I was just going to let her run around in the shorts and t-shirt she had on and just put her in dry stuff later but she wanted to get into a bathing suit proper so here we are.

    You guys, the garden hose bought about two hours of entertainment! The GARDEN HOSE.

    At first she wanted to wash the car, so I filled up a container with some dish soap and let her to it:

    When the car washing was over, she realized that she could hang the hose in a tree so she wanted to “shower” with the hose and she needed soap. Dish soap and gentle skin probably isn’t the best so I found some hand soap and filled another container for her with that. I have no idea if it made a lick of difference, but I tried.

    As we were playing, we watched a big transport truck pull up to the park next door and over the next hour they unloaded the biggest pile of wood chips we have ever seen and then the city workers got busy and loaded and spread those wood chips all over and under the new playground equipment at the park on the corner.

    Once we were satisfactory wet, she went inside and changed into dry clothes and took a break on her tablet for a bit. BW came home shortly after and so we went to investigate the new park equipment.

    She was the very first kid in the neighborhood to go on the new equipment. There was not another kid in sight so when BW came home we all went over to the check out the new gear and too see how it all worked. It works well, and there’s a little built in table so the adults can sit down, which is appreciated.

    But the word got out and she was joined by other kiddos in the neighborhood to test the playground where they played for a good bit.

    I wore her out today - and that was the idea - and we didn’t have to go further than our front lawn armed with an old cereal box and a garden hose.

    I’m calling today a win and a great way for her to end her summer vacation.

    Until Next Time,

    TH and Co.

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