Tidy Husband

Eligible for the seniors discount and the Happy Meal deal at the same time.

  1. Welcome to StoryTime Park

    As one does after finally putting the child to bed - I was having a snack when she bounced down the stairs in her little blue nightgown with unicorns and showed me this:

    I asked why she wasn’t in bed as I passed her a nacho I was snacking on. 1 She told me that she was hard at work on the photo above.

    “It’s StoryTime park”, she says “these are the books” and points to the rainbow bookshelf. “I had this in my head”, she tells me

    I replied that this was nice, but what i have in my head rhymes with “Bed”, so she bounced upstairs again - but not before telling me I could keep the artwork for my keepsake box downstairs.

    I will keep this one because what a great idea. Forget Starbucks as your “third place” - the lattes suck and cost over five bucks now. But a StoryTime Park I could get behind.

    And now that I think of it - our local library is a StoryTime Park as it’s on a park property and just behind it are baseball and soccer fields and a pretty good play set with slides and swings too. For such a small village as ours this is a pretty decent setup with picnic tables and tennis courts. I need to make a note this spring when it warms up and we can both explore books and run around in the park where we can exercise the mind and body 2 in one stop.

    To summarize:

    I was eating chips and doom scrolling while the child designed what could be the perfect idea for an outing at a venue that’s a mile away from our front door.

    Guess whom in the family is going places?

    It’s not the one eating chips that’s for sure.

    Until Next Time,

    TH and Co.

    1. sharing is caring. ↩

    2. I suddenly sound like a “wellness” writer. ↩

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  2. Happy Valentine's Day

    Happy Valentine’s Day!

    Because today is a very exciting day, I was up at six am. I did not like being woken at six am to hear “I’m excited”.

    Once we figured out excited about Valentine’s day beat Dad wanting more sleep I was up and at ‘em to start our big day. Greeting her were a few pink M+M’s and some new crayons and marker and tape for her.

    “ooooh, tape!”, she exclaimed and got right to creating and drawing as one does at 6:30am on a Saturday.

    “I made an iPad” she tells me as I head back to bed to catch a few more winks. We will not talk about the fact that she had M+M’s for breakfast while I slept. We did better later in the day.

    I wake an hour or so later and realized we have to get going because we’re off to a Valentines Party just for kids with her BFF. This was supposed to be a family event but BW got sick so I took the child and her friend instead.

    The venue for this event was called the Rec Room and it’s a bar/event facility all other days of the year but on a Saturday afternoon on Valentine’s Day it was all about the kids.

    And it was awesome. They had a glass dance floor with neon lights, burgers and fries and balloon animals and so much more.

    They had face painting!

    and cotton candy:

    and of course, Shirley Temples:

    We waited in line for what seemed like forever for 2 balloon animals. They both got heart balloons which were almost worth the wait until about 5 minutes later they both popped because they were playing “balloon tag”. Thankfully we’re at the age where they were both “eh, whatever”. Or it could be that they both had enough sugar in them by the end of the party that they were starting to lose consciousness and I had better think about getting everybody home safely.

    But just one last dance…pleassseeeeee….

    Everybody sing along to “ golden ” one last time with me.

    We made our way back home and I dropped off her little friend and then took my little charge home because she was exhausted as was I. It was only 2 hours or so but it seemed much, much longer due to all the keeping track of both of them and making sure everybody ate and got all the things we came for and went to the potty before we go and, and, and..…..

    Whew.

    It was all worth it because her BFF’s mother texted me saying that she was told by her daughter that I was the “cool Dad”

    Well…of course. That’s how we roll around here.

    Tomorrow - a little less sugar is on the menu - and probably a nap to recover fully.

    Partying like it’s 1999,

    TH and Co. (and Friends)

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  3. Who the Heck is Michael?!

    Today was a day of firsts.

    a pink heart cut out of a piece of paper

    Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash

    Her first boyfriend. At her first grade valentine’s party at school too.

    I guess it had to happen. And I have to say - pretty good timing.

    You see, she came home with a school artwork of a broken heart made out of glue and construction paper and to be honest, I didn’t really pay much attention to it when I went through her book bag the stuff gets put into to categories:

    1. Keep
    2. Toss

    I kept the heart and some other stuff and tossed it into the box I have in the basement for her artwork from school.

    Later this evening, she mentioned this art and replied that I saw it and also:

    Who the Heck is Michael?

    Well. If I had looked closer at this little project I would have seen names written all over the heart. It was the usual suspects like DAD, and MOM and even the dog gets an honorable mention but today their was a new name on there.:

    IT WAS MICHAEL

    So, as a concerned parent I asked again:

    Who the Heck is Michael?

    It turns out there’s been some new seating rearrangements in school and now she sits across from a Michael. Apparently these two go way back to the good old days of daycare but I have no idea who the kid is because it’s hard to keep track.

    But that’s not all. She’s now sitting beside other boys too! She came home with toys and cards from both boys and girls.

    She had a valentines day party. With all her classmates

    How is a father supposed to cope with this?

    Also:

    Who the Heck is Michael?

    Oh, right.

    It’s 2026 and she’s seven and her world is expanding. She can be friends with whomever she wants - boy - girl - nonbinary - whatever - as long as she’s safe and happy.

    I have one rule when the time comes and Michael or whomever comes over…

    Just Don’t Call me “Bro”.

    Also if he/she brings donuts that goes a long way too.

    Until Next Time,

    TH and Co.

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  4. Daydreaming is Good

    I’m beginning to realize that as the child gets older, bedtime is starting to get a little later.

    two gray sheep lying on hay

    Photo by Daniel o’dowd on Unsplash

    Bedtime has never, never been a fixed time. It was a suggestion at best most nights and still is today - but with a few twists.:

    1. The negotiation seems to be he harder. I’m getting a lot of “five more minutes” when I announce her pending situation and then some nights (okay, most) when I let it slide she asks for another five. She does not know when to stop.
    2. The screaming has stopped for the most part. There are still days and last night was one of them but they are becoming fewer and further between. Now she just tells me NO.
    3. I told her if she told me no one more time I will tell her ab about my NO and that involves a valentines day party lon Saturday with her friend so she better pick it up and brush her teeth.

    The trick for right now is to get her tooth brushed and ready to go and then she can noodle around in her bedroom for a bit until 9 at the latest. I found this works well.

    In fact, this works so well that tonight she asked me “can I noodle around for a bit?”, and I said yes and the only time she came out was to find her stuffed animal for the night - that’s the sign she is done. We searched together for the stupid thing (it had fallen down the bedframe) and then we had a very short conversation about daydreaming and she told me she daydreams a lot. 1

    I then told her that she is expected to daydream at this age and it’s almost encouraged because that’s the fun of having a brain - you get to use it - and it’s yours to do with it what you like.

    As long as you don’t tell me NO again, that is.

    We have rules here:

    1. “Yes Dad”
    2. Be Asleep by 9pm.
    3. Daydream all you want.

    Daydreaming about being a writer,

    TH and Co.

    1. tell me something I don’t know. ↩

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  5. 14 Years of Experience

    Nothing says true love like cheap socks from Amazon.

    Today is BW’s 14th anniversary of being married to me and during that time I have learned a few things I would like to share. Perhaps they will be of use for other husbands - tidy or otherwise:

    1. BW is the boss of me. Just like the wedding itself - it’s not about the groom - it’s about the bride. As if this would magically change to be about you after the wedding.
    2. Most of the shit to fight about really isn’t worth getting worked up about. I’m not saying we’’re perfect and we’ve had a few moments, but we’re still here together and at the end of the day that’s all that matters.
    3. When BW says “I’ve got this”, this means she does not have this in any way, shape or form. I have been bamboozled so, so many times about this and yet I still fall for it every time.
    4. She makes a mean salad.
    5. BW is smarter than me. Also, see number 1 above.
    6. You will come home one day and you will be told the dishwasher is broken. That is all the information you will be given. Your job is to troubleshoot the best you can. Good luck.
    7. The facial creams. OMG I didn’t know they made that many.
    8. You can never have enough blankets or socks in the house.
    9. Don’t start delivering coffee in bed. This will become a trend and tradition. The only way you will get coffee in bed is if you are close to death. This is a one-way trip in her favor.
    10. BW told me when we married that she was a package deal - her and her dog. I agreed to the original terms and conditions but nobody said anything about another dog - but here we are.
    11. Make sure one of you in the relationship is good with filling out forms. There will be forms - lots of forms.
    12. Family hugs in the kitchen are pretty cool.
    13. Make sure you’re compatible with your mother-in-law. This is important. More than you would think.
    14. I can’t imagine life without BW.

    Happy anniversary, BW.

    Love TH.
    XOXO

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