Tidy Husband

Eligible for the seniors discount and the Happy Meal deal at the same time.

  1. Artists at Work

    Do not disturb the creative process.

    I came home to this scene today:

    “Ssshh! DAD! We’re painting here!”, she tells me when I came in the door.

    Oh, sorry. Didn’t know.

    BW is really good with the crafts with her and this painting project is just one example for an after school activity. It’s the perfect amount of time too - they watch a how to paint video and then they both go to it for about 20 minutes or so.

    And god forbid if you interrupt. I know this first hand.

    The results:

    And of course it would not be an artists’s event if we didn’t pose with our creations afterwards:

    After all the painting and posing was done she decided to monetize her efforts and set up a painting sale

    Just five cents and you too could have BW and Child 1 original on your wall! Just add the paintings to your shopping cart and proceed to the checkout. Don’t forget to enter your email address for 10 percent off your first order.

    And that’s my Monday Evening - You?

    Until Next Time,

    TH and Co.

    1. trademark pending ↩

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  2. The Game

    A story about how a small plastic container turned into our family after dinner game

    I was doing dishes. BW was in the living room and the child was in the kitchen just keeping herself busy drawing and dancing and being happy as she is.

    Photo by Riho Kroll on Unsplash

    I was about to ~~toss out~~ recycle a small plastic container with a lid that before dinner had some Couscous in, and now it was empty and destined to the recycle bin. On a whim, I asked the child if she wanted it to play with/hold stuff/whatever.

    She jumped at it and got to peeling off the sticker. That actually was the entertainment for a good 20 minutes - there were little pieces of sticker on the floor everywhere but that’s the price you pay for an entertained child.

    As I was cleaning up, I found the lid and offered it to her. This changed everything and she went to get this new plastic vessel filled with crayons and trinkets right away.

    Then when I thought she was done, she had an idea and asked me for a box and I went downstairs and got her one and went back to the dishes or whatever I was doing. I come back into the kitchen and she has drawn numbers on every side of the box.

    We have a dice now - made from a cardboard box. We also have a trinket jar as the prize. We just need a few pieces of paper on the floor to step on and we have a life-sized board game with real people as the pieces.

    She wrote start on one piece and finish on the last piece of paper with the couscous award weighing down the finish piece - and you have a game that’s fun for all ages.

    that brown fuzzy thing. that’s the dice in action.

    And this folks is how we’ve been spending our weeknight evenings.

    tonight she made the game harder - the 4th piece is colored as mud and if you land there you have to go back to the start. I think the game is rigged because I was back at the starting line 4 times in a row tonight. I don’t think the dice is up to regulation gaming standards.

    We cancelled Netflix - this is more fun.

    Keep rolling the dice,

    TH and Co.

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  3. The Circle

    A story about running around in it

    I don’t know what it is about kids, but boy do they like to run around in circles - especially if you’re chasing them while they are in their little pink PJ’s just before bed.

    When BW told me she wanted a child and the pitter patter of little feet, I am not sure she had this in mind. I think she was thinking cute baby and not the part where she wonders if the child will ever go to bed?

    Well.. guess what BW? You get the whole package.

    Photo by Tyler Lastovich on

    You see, I have an excellent skill with our daughter that BW hates - and that’s the fact that I get her “all riled up” just before bed.

    Why? Because I am the fun Dad, that’s why. It’s my job.

    Tonight’s fun started with trying to get her off the couch as she was resisting bed so I grabbed her toes and gave them a squeeze. Of course this turned into a game which turned into running which turns into me/us getting yelled at by BW that it’s bedtime.

    I call this The Circle.

    BW HATES that I do this, as just seconds ago the child was rubbing her eyes and begging for bed and somehow in the last 30 seconds I have managed to get her higher as a kite on dopamine and running around in circles in the house.

    At one point, I just stood and watched while the child was break dancing in our kitchen using the glass door of the oven as a mirror to her funky moves and as all that is happening, the dog gets super excited and is in mid-air with a neon green sock in it’s mouth.

    Did I mention BW loves this?

    After a bit more fun sock jumping and break dancing I managed to get the child settled down and in the bed. Tonight at least she seemed to realize that we were both on borrowed time here and partners in crime, so she had better behave and stay in the be if she wants to get away with some more shenanigans in the future.

    It’s these little moments like these I love, because what’s better than being in the kitchen on a cold October night and seeing both a six-year-old child break dancing AND a dog with a neon green sock in it’s mouth both in the air at the same time?

    BW said she wanted a child.

    She didn’t realize that the biggest one was going to be me.

    Keeping it in the air tonight,1

    TH and Co.

    1. HT to Phil Collins ↩

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  4. Why Do Old People Snore?

    A bedtime question - and a good one at that

    Every once in a while she comes out with a doozy of a question and as she was getting into bed she asked why old people snore so much when they sleep.

    Photo by Linoleum Creative Collective on Unsplash

    And she’s right. I don’t think I have heard a baby snore, but then I haven’t been paying much attention to snoring babies last time I was there.

    A silly question, but a good one all the same. If I had to guess, it’s because our old bodies have been through a lot and well…. I have no idea. Nevermind.

    I am happy to report that we are back on track with the 99.9 percent behaviour after our slight diversion the other night where it all went sideways.

    As always, sleep was the answer. 1

    She came home from school and she wanted to play “playground” with her dolls. I love this child, but I am sure I have written before that I an not a fan of play where she is both the director and only person with the script.

    It’s so hard to follow along.

    After a few minutes, I managed to escape and she pretty much entertained herself the rest of the night. I did help her make some masks out of paper plates.

    I wish I could take credit for this idea - so I would be like some of those mommy bloggers that get up at 5am to make bento boxes and write posts like “10 cute outfits to dress your first grader”, but I’m not that guy. My first grader went to school in baggy green sweatpants and a t-shirt with a pink fluffy jacket that’s about 3 sizes to big. But we made the bus, so that’s all that matters.

    But, the regardless of whose idea it was, the masks were a lot of fun and it got us to dinner time as far as entertainment - so I’m calling that a win.

    “I’m the Lion” she tells me. “You can be the pig”

    It was her idea - so she gets to be the king of the jungle and I’m get to be the animal that will eat almost anything, so…ya.

    The rest of the night was a cakewalk and the usual bedtime routine was uneventful in every way and that’s the way we like it around here.

    Oink-Oink,

    TH and Co.

    1. Now that I think of it, she snores too so there goes the only old people snore theory. ↩

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  5. In the Fall....

    It’s time to clean up your room. It’s a thing. Really.

    Procrastination is my favorite skill.

    I will blow off doing chores forever, if I had my druthers. But there comes a time when the days get shorter and you realize that you’ll not be lounging in the sun for a long time to come, and it’s not like there’s anybody else to put away the lawn furniture.

    Photo by Jeremy Thomas on Unsplash

    So, I got my mind wrapped around the idea and cleaned up the storage shed and brought out the salt and shovels and put away the grill and the lawn furniture.

    I even gave the front lawn one last mow for the season. I have to mow more apparently because when the child hopped off the bus she asked why the grass on the lawn was so short.

    If you think the fall cleanup was a lot of work, then wait until you see the state of the child’s room. I tried to get her to clean it up yesterday but I missed the window of opportunity so after school I tried to get her to do it again today.

    “Help Me”, she asked.

    I told her that I really should not have to help her because she’s a big girl and it’s her room and one of the responsibilies she has to have if she ever wants to see the magical place called FUN CITY is to clean her room.

    Cue the whining and overall beligerence.

    So I told her that I will help, but we’re going to play a new game called toss or keep.

    This is the game where I take all the crap and half-broken crayons and old glue sticks and shovel it with my broom into one dog hair infested pile. And then I told her that if she wanted to keep stuff than she has to dig through the pile and grab the stuff she wants to keep and put it away.

    Otherwise, Dad is pitching it all in the trash can.

    This worked. Very well, actually. I am definitely going to use this again.

    We did the whole room - we moved beds, we put squishmallows and books away and tossed so many half-broken crayons.

    But. But. I save the art. I know, it’s not that special and she’s not some artistic genius but it’s still kind of fun.

    I mean, just look at the stuff I found:

    We’re now buttoned up and battened down for the winter and the fall breezes that blow the leaves off the treezes:

    the ending of the poem is not quite legible so your guess is as good as mine.

    Tomorrow, we tackle the family room - who knows what I will find - more poems, I hope.

    Blowing it off until tomorrow,

    TH and Co.

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