Tidy Husband

Eligible for the seniors discount and the Happy Meal deal at the same time.

  1. You Do You

    Don’t you talk like that to me young lady.

    The title above pretty much sums up our day here.

    we started the week with clean shoes. All for nothing though because now they’re filthy once again.

    It started out with a late start. Of course it’s Monday so now she decides she wants to sleep in. Trouble is it’s camp day and oh you are so going.

    A morning where you don’t want to wake up makes one cranky and I got an ear full of cranky this morning fo the first half an hour. No matter what I did - it was all wrong.

    I made the wrong lunch, I picked the wrong shorts, the socks were too itchy.

    Thankfully she perked up by the time we got in the car and we had to drive along to the toast song one more day. This was not intended but this will be the song of the summer I am afraid.

    At pickup she was fine and very happy to chew on the apple I brought her in the car. and we had a nice dinner together and joked and played on the back deck in the perfect weather watching her eat a popsicle.

    We’ve had much worse evenings.

    She put her own PJ’s on and then feigned tiredness to get out of bruising her teeth but her old man was on to her ways and teeth got brushed.

    We laid in bed and talked and had silly conversations about nothing but then I got to get up and she wanted me to stay.

    She followed me out into the hallway and I told her I would check on her in a few minutes.

    She sighs and then tells me “OK, You do you”, and turned around and marched herself to bed and I haven’t heard a peep since.

    I have to say - the summer breeze and the quiet is nice.

    If this is me doing me then I will take it.

    Until next time,

    TH and Co.

    Permalink

  2. Missing in Action

    To us it’s a stuffed toy. To her it’s her whole world.

    We Can’t find Don.

    Photo by Lora Seis on Unsplash

    For those not familiar with who Don is: Don is her favorite stuffed animal and that she has to have in her bed with her every night or else she turns bright red and screams.

    Last night, we could not find Don.

    Cue the screaming.

    We looked and looked and can’t find Don anywhere which is weird. Usually he gets moved or left around the house and either BW or I find him and put him somewhere up high and away from the dog.

    I can’t tell you how many times we have both texted each other with “have you seen Don?”

    Don is lost. This is not good as it’s night two she’s actually wanted him. BW hopes that she will outgrow Don and she probably will eventually - but not tonight. Tonight, we need Don.

    We have no idea where Don could be. This is actually the fourth Don - or Don, the fourth if you prefer more formal name.

    Thankfully she’s okay with replacing Don. She would prefer I go to Target right her and right now and go and buy a new Don.

    But that’s not happening. So, I turn to my experiences and come up with a desperate alternative:

    It’s one of my old (clean) socks stuffed with her (clean) socks and underpants.

    Say Hello to “Socky Underpants”. (Patent Pending)

    Hey, it works and she loves it.

    So ya. She went to bed with one of my socks stuffed with her underpants and she couldn’t be happier for the rest of the night.

    All I know is that Don better show up soon before I run out of socks and ideas.

    Until Next Time,

    TH and Co.

    Permalink

  3. A Day of Dads

    I have never heard a word repeated so much in my life until today.

    BW has it all figured out.

    Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash

    Leave town for 10 days and leave me in charge of our little charge.

    That’s 10 days of “Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad”

    That’s a lot of Dad’s

    Today is just the first day of 10 too so I will be hearing that word a lot more in the next few days.

    But you know what?

    We did just fine thankyouverymuch. That said, I am not sure she had a vegetable today. So much for my perfect score.

    Once we got Mommy out the door, she went upstairs in her room for about an hour and got bored and came looking for me.

    We went outside and played soccer with the new ball and net we found at yesterday’s Garage Sale. Apparenlty it’s called the great soccer game challenge. More on this later.

    After soccer, we played hide and seek. She’s such a horrible hider I could find her in 0.2 seconds if I wanted to but I played it up and searched and searched until I “found” her standing by a tree.

    Then we thought we would go exploring on her scooter in the new subdivision that they’re building around the corner. It’s a great place for a kid on a scooter because they’re not allowing cars and it’s the weekend so no construction vehicles to worry about either.

    dream homes to be built here.

    It gets even better because while we were exploring we made a new friend who’s four and of course kids just start playing so easily and they ended up at the park on the corner. We were lucky to find a friend to play with because it was just outside otherwise.

    After the park we came home and had a hot dog for lunch and then a bit later we went for the big event: Break all the rules when mommy is not here.

    Today’s rule breaking came in going to 7-11 and getting her first Slurpee ever.

    they were out of small cups.

    With slurpees in hand we drove to a parking/viewing area on the Niagara river and finished slurping our slurpies and exploring new places we hadn’t been before. This is really just a parking lot for the bike path, but they mow and we walked down to the river and looked out at Canada on the other side:

    The slurpee got all the attention, but then two older gentlemen let their very friendly dogs loose and they ran over to say hello. We learned that if we walked a bit there was a hill we could walk back up to get to the car.

    Back home for a rest and a snack and a game of checkers (she won) and then we were back outside for the final soccer challenge of the day. I didn’t know that there needed to be more soccer to play and I was hoping I wouldn’t have to but she turned on the tears for her old man and the next thing you know I’m playing soccer.

    Dinner was really nice. Kudos to BW for getting us stocked up and ready to go for meal planning because I don’t think you can get all your nutrients from a slurpee.

    The photo above is what the dish was supposed to look like. Ours somewhat resembled that if you looked at it in the right light. She told me it was the most delicious thing she ever had and I am a better cook than mommy.

    After dinner we were doing well until we weren’t. I let her stay up later and all was going well until we were getting ready for bed and she realized she did not have her favorite stuffed animal she sleeps with.

    We looked and looked and looked but we could not find him. I haven’t seen this toy in days anywhere. I fear the worst (the dog).

    “But,I need his love so I can have nice dreams”, she cried to me.

    After giving up the search I managed to convince her to use the many other stuffed animals she has and let them combine their love for her for tonight’s dreams.

    Hey, it worked. I rubbed her back for all of 3 seconds and she was out like a light.

    All in all - a pretty good day.

    Tomorrow, I feed her a vegetable and hopefully find that silly stuffed animal.

    Until then,

    TH and Co.

    Permalink

  4. Welcome to Macintosh

    It’s better to ask for forgiveness than permission.

    “She’ll get over it”, I thought to myself as I handed the man the rest of our cash.

    Photo by Jack Guo on Unsplash

    But I am getting ahead of myself. Let’s start from the beginning:

    This morning was uneventful. The child woke me up and we downstairs for the usual start: feed the dog, coffee and cereal.

    Today was kind of special because on Friday it’s “fun day” at camp where they have a BBQ and everybody brings something. Our thing to bring was popsicles. They told me to bring about 70, so I grabbed a box of 80 at the store and tossed them in the freezer. There, done.

    This morning there was a small problem because one of the freezies broke, so we ended up with 79 instead. “That’s Okay”, she says and we go on our way to camp with freezies in a cooler ready to go.

    We turn the corner and drive down the street and see about five garge sales on one street. This usually never happens. We learn later that it was garage sale day in our small town and this was garage sale day. There were sales everywhere.

    We call mommy and let her know because she’s looking for a few things. Mommy tells me she wants to get her nails painted and they only take cash and I need to stop at the ATM on the way home. I drop off the child and her 79 freezie pops and hit the ATM on the way home.

    We decided that we should both go to the garage sales together because when was the last time we had the time to spend any time together without the child? It was a lovely morning too. Sunny, no wind…just lovely.

    The first two houses were so-so and BW got a few things but nothing really interested.

    Then at the next house they had 6 Apple MacBook Pro’s for sale. $20 a pop.

    At first, I just cherry picked the two better looking ones and then I thought oh, heck - the older ones would be fun to tinker with so I handed the man four more 20’s and now I have six Apple Macbook Pros I am the proud owner of.

    This is where it gets interesting: BW realizes that I just did the thing that she does all the time and does not like this rash decision of mine at all. I just spent all her toenail painting cash on old laptops.

    “Jimmy!”, she exclaimed “Do you really need six computers?”.

    “Yes. Next question?”, I replied.

    This was not the answer she wanted to hear and huffed and puffed for a few minutes until she realized that this was happening as I was already headed home with six laptops tucked under my arm

    After a few minutes she got over it and is speaking to me once again. We went to an Estate sale later and she found some jewelry so that made things a bit better and took the pressure off as I distracted her with shiny things for her too.

    It’s a good thing this garage sale weekend is only yearly. I don’t think I could get away with this every week.

    And summer camp was a hit today. She came so tired and dirty BW called from the car to get the bath ready because was filthy and exhausted. I don’t know how, but she stayed up past 9 again tonight. It’s like she can’t go to bed because she’ll miss all the fun.

    Until Next Time,

    TH and Co.

    Permalink

  5. The Poo Patrol

    A story about the other end of the dog.

    We have a new father/daughter memory to write about:

    Photo by Maria Lin Kim on Unsplash

    Roaming our backyard looking for dog poo together.

    She loves it!

    Of all the things… I know. But when I grab a bag and the shovel and tell her I need her help to find all the dog poop she is all about it. “Yay!”

    We are the Poo Patrol.

    We’re a great pair. She has the good eyesight and I have the skillset to pick up poop and between us we clean up the back yard. She gets so excited when she finds a fresh turd on the lawn:

    “Poop!” she yells.

    Sometimes it’s a play-by-play of what the dog ate earlier: “Look, there’s orange crayon in that one!” she will exclaim.

    We wander the lawn like some drunken sailors on a treasure hunt searching for the dog’s treasure to collect. One of the sailors is already in her pale blue nightgown and crocs as this is the after dinner activity of the night before bed

    To continue the fun, we take the garbage cans to the curb and that’s another thing that is the best thing ever helping Dad drag the trash to the curb.

    To round out the evening she sits down on the driveway and draws with chalk.

    Maybe at some point she’ll go to bed.

    Or not.

    Until Next Time,

    TH and Co.

    Permalink

Every post → · RSS feed