Tidy Husband

Eligible for the seniors discount and the Happy Meal deal at the same time.

  1. 161 Pieces

    We have managed to dodge the Lego bullet for six years now which is pretty good considering she saw what could be done with Lego and the possibilities – we’ve been happily Lego-free for six years.

    Until today.

    You see, she was gifted a few Lego kits for her birthday and despite the fact that we quickly took them away and hid them in the basement thinking she would not be wise to our ways, well…she was. She wanted to play with her Lego.

    And it is her Lego. At least for now. Eventually it will be the Dog’s (or more specifically, in – or through – the dog) so she has every right to play with her toys. It’s just all those little pieces to step on.

    But upon opening the box – this isn’t her parent’s Lego. This isn’t some old potato chip tin that your mother filled with random Lego found or handed down over the years and you were to spread it all over the living room floor and use your imagination to build something.

    Those days are over. The Lego of 2025 comes with a mission statement: Build me, and you will get what’s on the box:

    Where we’re going we don’t need left hands

    This is IKEA style LEGO. There’s bags of unknown parts and some vague images that are supposed to be instructions and there you are: good luck! They did break down the building of the kit into 3 sections which is nice. I thought she would get bored after doing one little section but nope, she needed to finish the entire thing.

    The box says 4 years and up and I think they’re being just a little optimistic that the 4-year-old is going to figure out where to put some of these pieces.

    She actually had no problem reading the directions and finding the parts and how/where they went. Where she had a bit of struggle is getting some of the pieces to click as they should and she would give up.

    This is where we actually might buy more Lego as it’s good practice for her not to give up. I told her that this was her birthday gift, and not mine and that I can help but I am not doing it for you just because you decide it’s too hard. I know I am a pushover for her but even Dad has limits.

    It took “us” about an hour and a half to build this thing and save for a potty break she stuck with it until the bitter end. A few times she even exclaimed “This is fun!” so I guess Lego isn’t so bad after all.

    The question/problem I have with this new and improved Lego is now what do we do with it? It’s already built and the chances of it getting built again are pretty slim. It would be like doing the same crossword puzzle twice – it doesn’t make any sense.

    And it’s not like the Lego of old where you could all just toss it in a tin and then the kids would make something out it. With this kit thing, every piece has a specific function so you can’t take the cash register part and re-purpose it to make a spaceship or something.

    Currently she’s got the thing assembled on our kitchen table and it will stay there for a few days until the novelty wears off (or the dog has eaten most of it) but then what? Toss it in a box and hide it in the basement? I already threw out the instructions so we can’t really re-build it and besides why would you want to?

    I guess this is the world we now live in: single use Lego is here.

    Lastly, for the life of me I cannot figure out why the farmer girl has no left hand from just above the wrist:

    Look Ma! No Hands!

    Tragic Lego farm tractor accident maybe?

    All this to say if you’re in need of a pre-assembled Lego farm kit with most of the pieces, and a one-armed figure – give me a call – I’ve got you.

    Permalink

  2. Best Dad Ever

    She had a good day today. After yesterday where we were late for the bus today she was on her A game and I was home to help because BW had an early morning meeting so I was the man when it came to getting her off to the bus on time.

    Breakfast was some oatmeal for her and she didn’t seem interested and only ate a bit – which is OK because she can get a free breakfast at school if need be.

    She was supposed to give the note of apology to her bus driver but we did not because he wasn’t driving. Even Mr. Dave needs a day off from six-year-olds.

    She was very surprised to see it raining this morning. Her mind was blown: it was winter! How could it be raining, it should be snowing!

    I taught her the April Showers Bring May Flowers rhyme and this was a hit that was sung a couple of times during dinner tonight so it’s made an impression

    Kid off to school, and then had to get ready to go to get my monthly eye needle. So yea, fun morning.

    BW drove me to the appointment this morning and good thing because due to the warm weather and rain it was foggy. It’s bad enough driving home after getting a needle in your eye, and even worse if it’s foggy.

    While I was getting the needle, BW grabbed lunch and we had a quick lunch at home before I zonked out on the couch for 3 hours because: ow. eyeball.

    She bounces off the bus and the first thing she asks me as she is walking up the drive:

    Hey Dad – Do you think the Groundhog will see it’s shadow?

    We both agreed that it was best if the groundhog did not see it’s shadow and then it would be an early spring and then wait for it: The singing – April Showers…

    She didn’t want to come in but wanted to go across the street to Ethel’s house and then they would both come back and watch on the tablet which is fine because it’s not a school nite.

    Turns out, the 6-year-olds had all this planned on the bus, but Ethel’s parents had other ideas and no Ethel to play with today.

    By this time she is soaked, so I get her dried off and she trots right upstairs and puts on her warm PJ’s (this is how you can tell she’s related to her mother) and then grabs an apple off the table and plugs in and tunes out.

    Pizza For Dinner. BW has got the homemade pizza down to a science. It’s been requested that we have green pizza (pesto) instead so duly noted.

    As soon as dinner is over she wants to go to bed. Hang on, I tell her – I am almost done here tidying up and then we can go upstairs and get you to bed.

    We play for a bit as a family and then I get her to calm down and go to bed. She comes out five minutes later and doesn’t want the day to end but she is so, so tired. She got up before 7 am and then had physical therapy and physical education today and I am pretty sure the 30 minute bus ride just finished her off. Add some warm pizza in that tummy and she is done. done. done.

    I go downstairs, and finish tidying up and picking rubber bracelets, stickers and god knows what else off the floor and I see a piece of paper. It looks to be remnants of some stickers. Now all that remains is a flower sticker. She won’t miss one sticker so I go and am ready to go throw it out and by chance on the other side I see this:

    Best DAD evr

    Actually, It’s Luckiest Dad Ever.

    Permalink

  3. The Sounds of Silence

    You guys. Nobody told me that at age six there we be so.much.talking.

    The child did not stop all day. She was home today due to lunar new year and well..holy.

    Not that she was misbehaved. She was just on. All day. ON

    Of course the usual singing and talking to herself and her ponies and how you need to be respectful and kind and honest, etc. These are all good lessons so yay for the ponies but well…how about it’s time for the ponies to have a nap?

    Is there a mute button?

    She made a unicorn terrarium that she got for her birthday as a gift and the ladies also cracked open the 8 gajillion piece jewelry making kid and there was bracelet and necklace making as well.

    Later I was tasked with opening yet another pack of my little ponies because we don’t have enough as it is and we need moar ponies.

    I was busy trying again to change another outlet because now I’m an expert. While I had my attentions elsewhere she snuck up to the room and closed her door. I thought/hoped that she might take herself to bed for a little snooze. I was wrong. She snuck her tablet into her room and closed the door so the parents didn’t notice. 13 begins at six apparently.

    Lastly, I want to share a Dad Joke, but this time’s the joke’s on Dad.

    “Hey Dad. What’s your name?”

    “Jim”

    “What is this?” (she points to her nose)

    “Nose”

    “What is the opposite of something?”

    “Nothing”

    “Dad. Nose. Nothing”

    Hardy. Har. Har.

    Permalink

  4. Eco Island

    The child had a field trip to Eco Island today. It wasn’t as cold as it had been earlier but it was far from a nice warm day to wander around outside. But she got all dressed up in big coat, snow pants and boots and on the bus she went.

    As soon as she got off the bus this afternoon she wanted to tell me about one thing that happened on the field trip:

    She was given hot cocoa. W ith Marshmallows!

    Over the course of the evening I heard about the hot cocoa at least 3 more times. It left an impression apparently.

    I asked her at dinner if she learned anything else at the island and she told us that she learned that some animals are now “distinct”.

    Of course when she came home she asked if she can watch “shows” on her tablet. Because it’s not a school day tomorrow due to Lunar New Year (lord help us) she can watch the tablet.

    But the tablet didn’t stick ling and I found her 20 minutes later coloring in the family room.

    By the time dinner landed in her belly she was toast. We had a quick dessert of leftover birthday cake and then she brushed her teeth and put on PJ’s without protest and we were ready for bed.

    After 20 minutes of “sillies”, as they are called here – I shut the door and haven’t heard a peep since before 7pm.

    Thank you fresh air and eco island for an early night

    Permalink

  5. Pretty in Pink

    There was a time when our house was beige. Beige carpet, beige-ish couch, beige…well pretty much everything. Even the dog was grey.

    But over time the collection of stuff has grown and for some reason I do not fully understand according to BW all the things must be pink. Bonus points if there’s a flamingo somewhere.

    Take today for example: I come home and she’s on the couch shopping for wallpaper.

    Yes, wallpaper.

    Remember how you would spend an entire Saturday afternoon bored to death as a kid because your mother took you along while she flipped through book after book of wallpaper samples? I do.

    Folks, I present to you the year 2025: Where you can shop for wallpaper samples from the comfort of the couch. Even better is that you can ask your husband ad-nauseam about what he thinks about this style? or this? or how about this?

    OMG you guys, the wallpaper. I don’t remember my Dad having any interest in the wallpaper choosing and if I remember correctly he was probably getting slightly drunk in the garage on a Saturday afternoon. I’m beginning to think he had the right idea. And if we did come home with wallpaper I am sure it was my Mom who hung it.

    But somehow we must talk about the wallpaper.

    One wallpaper sample arrived in the mail today and I think this was the start. It is like the Wuhan of Wallpaper for us – as this is where it all started. Once that sample arrived on the wall and BW could visualize the great wall of flamingos something clicked in her brain and she’s hell bent on getting wallpaper. Flamingo Wallpaper. Pink, of course. The more pink and flamingos the better.

    Guess who would be tasked to hang said wallpaper? You got it.

    Guess who has zero experience or interest hanging wallpaper? You also got it.

    I am hoping in my heart of hearts that she will let this one go and we can paint the wall and toss some artwork up there and call it a day.

    I Blame the Backsplash.

    I am beginning to think the pink back splash in the kitchen was the gateway drug.

    For whatever reason, something has clicked in BW and now all the things must be pink and flamingo-ey. It’s not enough that we have a six year old girl who wears pink on pretty much every day and plays with lots of pink toys. It’s not like there is a lack of pink in the house. We have the pink.

    But, the Amazon man keeps coming to the house with all things pink.

    In the past bit he has brought us..

    1. Pink Back splash for the kitchen
    2. Pink Dish and Hand Soap Dispensers
    3. A Pink Clock
    4. A Pink Dish Drainer

    And let’s not forget the paintings she has painted recently:

    oh look – pink.

    more pink. complete with flamingos.

    Dear BW: It’s my personal opinion as the chief wallpaper hanger that we do not need any more pink walls or paper in the kitchen area. Our bedroom is already pink. Our bedroom curtains are pink. You have won with the pink.

    I don’t want to feel like I’m living in Miami Vice. If you keep this up, I will start to grow a mullet and wear white suits with rolled up sleeves.

    Please, I am begging you.

    Put down the sample book and step away from the wall.

    Your flamingo days are over. It’s all going to be okay.

    Permalink

Every post → · RSS feed