Tidy Husband

Eligible for the seniors discount and the Happy Meal deal at the same time.

  1. I laughed a lot today

    At one point today the child was talking to her aunt on the phone and when she was asked if she had a good birthday she replied “I had an awesome birthday”.

    Awesome is pretty much how I would describe today too.

    First, she turned six this morning. SIX! I still can’t believe we are here.

    With that in mind I just have six notes about six years old:

    1. She has learned to whistle. Yesterday she could not and today she could.
    2. She has all the things. She is in need or want of nothing. She was given so many gifts it’s hard to count them all. I am surrounded by pink ponies and unicorns
    3. I have written about this before but we are all about my little pony. This has not changed.
    4. She’s easier to handle. Bedtime is not a slam dunk yet, but she’s getting there.
    5. She’s sociable. Everybody is her friend.
    6. She’s happy. Truly happy.

    As she told me tonight at bedtime:

    “I laughed a lot today”

    Here’s to another year of laughs.

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  2. On Being a Dad

    Six Years ago I wasn’t a Dad. And then just like that – she was here.

    And life has not been the same since.

    There should be some training for this Dad thing. And I was lucky in a way as I had a bit of coaching from the nurses while the child chilled in the NICU for 51 days so I got a bit of a head start but even then they show you how the diaper thing works and you are on your own.

    And since I brought her home six years ago, I have learned a few things I would like to share:

    1. Distraction is your friend. Telling them to put their socks on will get you nowhere. But asking them about unicorns or dinosaurs or whatever and get them distracted you can get the socks on with ease.
    2. Bedtime. OMG, the bedtime. I would be a millionaire if I had a fool-proof solution that worked but I found that sometimes you have to leave the room with them screaming and the fun has to stop. Also, what works today might not work tomorrow so it’s a moving target.
    3. It will be hell peeling them away from the tablet. The tablet is also the best thing ever. It’s a constant struggle between right and wrong.
    4. Pee before you go. Always.
    5. Speaking of going: Plan to leave early because the peeing and going and getting out the door takes significantly longer than you could ever imagine
    6. Daycare is expensive. Really Expensive.
    7. Have them eat the same thing you eat. Life is not a restaurant. Besides, chicken nuggets suck – we eat better than that.
    8. The day the car seat goes away is a good day. Same goes for diapers.
    9. They help you see things that you haven’t thought about in a while. When was the last time you were excited about the first snow? Have a kid and they will remind you that snow is the best. thing. ever. – Also, Santa is kind of fun too. And don’t get me started on leprechauns.
    10. Enjoy it. Because holy, does it go by fast. Yes it’s hard with the tantrums and the bedtimes and having to tell them to turn around in the booth at the restaurants – but in the end it’s all worth it.

    Tomorrow we celebrate birthday number six. SIX! I can’t believe it.

    This is the year the training wheels come off for both of us. We’ve got this.

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  3. Finding a New Outlet

    First, the fun part of the day:

    I went to school! I was in kindergarten today as a special guest to celebrate my daughter’s sixth birthday that is in 2 days.

    She picked Just Helping My Dad as the book I was to read aloud to the class.

    I can recommend this book. Because, I am a Dad.

    And…I got to sit in the “Teacher Chair” and read to my audience of 20 kindergarten students. And I have to tell you – they are a hard crowd to entertain. The wiggling and not paying attention was starting to run rampant until her teacher reminded them that they have a special guest (that would be me).

    My little birthday girl sat right beside me in her birthday chair with a paper happy birthday crown perched right on top of her head as excited and proud as can be.

    Once my performance was over the kids danced to a happy dance video and then sang happy birthday and then the ultimate treat: she got to pick a toy from the birthday box and she chose a squishy toy (that will get pitched soon when the novelty wears off) but this is kind of neat and something that I didn’t have for sure:

    She got to pick a book to take home from the book vending machine.

    A book vending machine! I have never bought a book from a machine. A Coke, yes. But never a book. Times have changed for sure.

    Oh! The book was Spiderman and Friends. Books – from a vending machine! Who knew?

    The whole birthday book reading took a hour.

    How did I spend the other hours of my day? Pretending to be an electrician. A very bad electrician.

    Or, depending on how it went: A fireman. Or maybe insurance adjuster.

    It was a simple task: Change the outlet in the kitchen.

    Easy, Yes?

    I knew I was in over my head when I pulled the outlet out and there was a sea of wires hanging from it. I should have stopped and called the electrician right then and right there.

    I didn’t. I am a fool.

    There must be a technique to get two wires to stay in place when you tighten the screw and I am sure I do not know it. And even when you do get the wires attached then when you’re working on the other side, the ones you just put in fall out! It was a frustrating 2+ hours to say the least.

    Then, to add insult to injury I thought I was done and when I went to turn things back on I had no power to the microwave. Back to square one and I am well into hour 3 at this point. Of course, I am doing all this at 4pm on a Friday and good luck finding an electrician if this went completely sideways which it could well have done.

    As all things home-improvementy- it took me twice as long (if not longer) to get things sorted but at the end of the day all worked out and we now have a shiny new outlet in the kitchen and the microwave even works!

    And that’s how we spent the day before the day before the birthday.

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  4. Dining with a Fork

    I’m sure she won’t like me putting this on the web, but maybe I can shame her into using a fork. We’re 3 days from six-years-old for crying out loud.

    It might be some sensory thing or just muscle memory but we have a heck of a time getting this child of ours to stop eating with her hands and use a fork.

    Unless she’s eating asparagus which is one of the only foods you can eat with your hands, she is expected to use a fork.

    She doesn’t use a fork.

    This lack of fork usage drives BW nuts. I have a bit more patience with her when it comes to this but eve still, it’s getting a little old.

    We have tried all the things we can think of but that left hand of hers instinctively grabs or just pushes the food in. This is not a good look.

    A couple nights ago after we asked her to use the fork, oh, a dozen times when she went to use her fingers once again we both by coincidence yelled “fork!!” at the exact same time and it scared her. She turned bright red and cried and cried. We did not mean to scare her but she was not expecting that.

    So, we have established that verbal cues don’t work. What does work then?

    Maybe making it a game?

    Tonight I told her if she used the fork 12 times without using her left hand to touch her food I would give her a special dessert. She was agreeable to this idea.

    We had spaghetti, so it was easy to show her how to twirl her noodles. That’s fun in iteself – the fact that noodles are the one food you are allowed to play with a bit before you put it in your mouth.

    She did pretty well. At first, she tried to put all the noodles in her mouth at the same time.

    No. The right way is just a few noodles, twirl and get them in there with the fork

    We did okay and there might be hope. She only had one time where she lost a point for getting that left hand in there in the bowl.

    We celebrate the small victories here and tonight was one of them – she used a fork fairly well for what might have been the first time.

    The dessert was 3 gummy worms that were left over from our trip to the Movies

    Everyone came away from the game thinking they won.

    And that’s a win for sure.

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  5. 48 Hours of No School

    I’m finishing the 2nd day of a child home on the couch watching too much YouTube Kids instead of being where she should be: at school.

    I understand why they closed the schools the past 2 days. It’s been freaking cold here and I haven’t left the house either because I’m a princess and I don’t drive in the cold. Also, the electric car doesn’t really hold a charge so hot in the zero degree temps.

    All this to say we’ve had a lot of time together as a family. The child has been off due to the sub-zero temperatures and BW is not teaching until next week and I am well, here. I’m like a plant – a plant that sweeps floors, but a plant all the same.

    We have played the (what seemed like) the world’s longest game of unicorn monopoly. Which was fun for the first 20 minutes and then you have to wake the child out of the unicorn and rose petals zone – or wherever her five-year-old mind takes her as her attention span is only good for so long. (Mommy won, BTW)

    I guess if there’s an upside is that for the moment I am done with the kitchen renovations for a few days. Wait, I am not. I had to assemble a pink kitchen drainer today so it was an easier day of home improvement but not completely done.

    A summary of what I have done this past 2 days:

    Played with Play-Doh
    Washed the blanket the dog barfed on
    Picked up the family room for what has to be the 18th time this week.
    Colored.
    Have made oatmeal, cheerios, sandwiches and only god knows how many times I have satisfied the “I’m thirsty” statement. I have played with squishallows, have had stickers stuck to my back (which she thought was the funniest thing ever) and have spent too many hours tucking her in for the night.

    The only productive thing I have managed to do in the past 2 days is to get the child registered for summer camp – which is another job in itself with all the forms and signatures but it’s done. Now we just have to find the money.

    This is a really good summer camp. It’s only a 10 minute drive away and we get to drop her off as early as 7:30 so that’s really good as BW will have a full day to work this summer.

    The summer camp looks to be a lot of fun. It’s at Beaver Island State Park so she will have access to a beach and there’s field trips and lots and lots of activities to keep her busy this summer. It’s not cheap, but with kids – what is?

    It’s 8:10pm as I write this and so far I have not received a text message or email about school closures tomorrow so it looks like she might actually go back to school tomorrow which will be good for all us.

    We can only handle so much family time indoors together.

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