And it wouldn’t be another post if I were not writing about BW’s idea of the day:
This is not joke. This time it’s serious. This time she’s playing with fire..
She’s put a spell on our refrigerator.
Let me tell you about this refrigerator. It is the most boring fridge ever known to man. It is the lowest maintenance thing in the house – even the dog takes more effort.
This thing keeps on running and running. It has no regular service and has only had a few good cleans when that lid on the jar of maraschino cherries that’s been in the back pops off and now you have cherry juice dripping down the back so you have to do something that resembles cleaning the thing.
So very, very gently you get a warm cloth and wipe up the mess and tell it that it’s doing a good job and that you’re very grateful for every day of service it has provided.
I’ve named her Amanda.
She’s so good. She never complains and keeps my OJ and Eggs and leftover milk at just the right temperature. And there’s been some abuse over the years with forgotten cherries and she’s missing a drawer but she’s a trooper and has never let us down through many sudden cuts of power and pounds and pounds of magnets hanging off her sturdy frame.
Amanda was happy just being herself. She’s an old girl of at least 20 years if we had to guess. That’s a lot of days keeping your cheese at the right temperature. Every time BW has opened the door in the wee hours Amanda patiently waits while BW decides what she wants. It’s as if the inspiration will come to her the longer the door is held open, but Amanda is always there for all us patiently cooling her heels while she waits.
It’s safe to say we love Amanda. She’s not the svelte figure she was twenty years ago, but then who is? Despite her age she runs every day and that’s something that nobody else in this household does.
But BW likes to tempt fate and take chances. Heck, she married me.
The chance she’s decided to take on is to fuck with the fridge.
“Leave Amanda Alone’, I tell BW.
BW does not listen. BW thinks that Amanda could use a little external makeover. Amanda moved in when Acid Wash was in fashion so in BW’s mind Amanda could use a makeover and it was going to happen today(or, whenever the UPS guy showed up)
I tried to get Amanda used to the idea. I gently removed the 39 magnets that had attached to her body along with the appointment cards of dentist appointments long ago missed and set them aside.
I will miss the photos of my family on her, I whispered to her as I gave her wrinkled skin a quick wipe before the procedure, but now the time was here. It was time for the makeover to begin.
This won’t hurt a bit – I told Amanda as I prepared the ingredients and then told her to close her eyes and think of the Queen.
The UPS Man had arrived. It was time.
We took the makeover kit out and removed Amanda’s handles. We had to do a bit of grafting here and there to get the look we wanted and her handles needed a complete makeover to the the 20 years of fingerprints off but in the end Amanda woke up from her little beauty nap looking better than ever!
Don’t fail me now, Amanda
Then the dishwasher got word of makeovers happening so she got a little spruce up too!
a matching set!
Amanda, don’t fail me now.
BW won’t tell me what this cost so if that’s the case then it’s not cheap and it’s best I don’t know what she paid for your custom-made makeover.
Please keep serving us for years to come Amanda. You look great!
The shorter version: BW found custom color magnets on the internet that stick to your fridge and allow you spruce up the color of your fridge.
