Tidy Husband

Eligible for the seniors discount and the Happy Meal deal at the same time.

  1. Post Christmas Blues

    Pop Quiz Time!

    Guess what happens 2 days after Christmas?

    If your answer is returning all the unwanted Christmas sweaters – you’re wrong.

    Eating too much chocolate? Yes, but still wrong.

    Sick Kid? Yes!

    She came home from daycare (thank god for daycare) today with a very raspy voice. I thought she just played herself silly which is always a possibility there. I don’t think there’s a whole lot of learning happening.

    Anyway, she came home and wanted to to right to bed. Not a good sign when it’s pizza night. I took her temperature and she seemed fine, but I got her into her PJ’s and she wanted to go to bed.

    An hour later she comes down looking for a hug and something to eat and we have a fever! I guess that answers the question: she’s sick.

    BW cancelled a lunch out with a friend for tomorrow and god knows what the weekend looks like for me. I had another needle in my eye today so I’m not exactly on my A game either. When the child wanted me to lie in bed with her I did not argue because it meant I got to close my eyes!

    Fevers with kids are weird. If you call the doctor they’re like unless the fever spikes to 105 don’t call us. Take 2 tylenol and call me in the morning. There’s not a whole lot you can do but worry and wait.

    For those that might google search best flavor of children’s Tylenol for five-year-olds – we’re a grape family here. When she was smaller she resisted the other flavors but as she got older she definitely let us know the preference for grape was real. The grape goes down without a complaint.

    Then 20 minutes later when the Tylenol kicks in – she’s like – “Fever? what fever?”

    Wish me luck.

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  2. The Ice Pack

    Picture bedtime with a five (soon to be six) year old – What do you see on your mind’s eye?

    One might think of warm blankets and footie PJ’s and a few stuffed animals and maybe some nursery rhymes in the background while the dog lies at the end of the bed, yes? Of course this is in a perfectly clean and organized bedroom with a slight smell of rose petals to help her drift off to sleep. Of course her hair is combed and she’s fresh out of the tub.

    At our house things are a bit different.

    Tonight we had a race to see if she could get her PJ’s on and teeth brushed before I was done cleaning up. She “won”. (Dad really won because now he has a child prepped for bed)

    I thought we had a thing going tonight – it was relatively early and due to the holiday excitement and a few errands with mommy today she was pretty much begging for bed at the dinner table. An early bedtime I had hoped.

    We horsed around upstairs for a bit and settled down and read a story (guinness world book of records is popular here right now) and then I thought I had won the lottery and she was going to go to bed without issue. Not quite the rose petal dream sequence above – but close.

    But then, it happened:

    She asked for an ice pack.

    Yes. An Ice Pack. Like what you would toss in your lunchbox to keep your sandwich cool until lunchtime. We have many different shapes and sizes – some for kids and some for adults and it doesn’t really matter what she gets as long as she can go to bed with an ice pack.

    It’s the strangest thing.

    “My face is hot”, she tells me.

    So, I go downstairs for what seems like the umpteenth time and get her an ice pack for her face.

    Then she’s happy and ready for bed, clutching an ice cold hunk of frozen plastic while she dozes off to sleep.

    Tonight though there was no dozing. I got the ice pack. I held up my end of the bargain. She wanted me to rub her back to get her to doze off. Okay, No Problem. She still didn’t want to sleep. She was scared of the dark – she was thirsty – you name it. She did not want to stop.

    I finally got her to settle down. Bedtime took 2 hours tonight.

    It took me 3 trips for blankets, one entire household search for her favorite stuffie, an entire discussion on what side of the bed she would sleep on and god knows how many back rubs to get her to la-la land tonight. Oh – also a few discussions of your favorite ride at the amusement park.

    As I tried to quietly sneak out of her room I stepped on something cold and/or wet.

    Oh right. It was the ice pack.

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  3. Santa Came to our House!

    You Guys!

    You would never believe what happened! Santa came to our house!

    All she had to do was go to bed and more importantly – stay in the bed. That seemed to be the bigger issue this holiday. Dad went to bed at 11pm only to be woken at 1 am by the child telling me she’s scared.

    She was not scared. Excited? Yes. Scared? no.

    I had just got her back to bed and was falling asleep when she came back to my side of the bed again. (it’s always my side). I tapped BW on the shoulder and said “your turn”.

    BW dutifully went and just crawled into the bed with the child. And if you’ve ever slept in the same bed with a child you will know how much a good sleep you do not get, so kudos to BW for taking one for the team.

    And then we made it to 6:30 and then the child was awake and ready to go!

    Down we went to see what was under the tree. Despite the fact that our bank balance states otherwise we really didn’t go overboard this year with gifts. Of course Santa came through with a Furby (how did he know?).

    The hottest toy of the year. If the year was 1998.

    She doesn’t quite understand that this is 26 year old technology at this point and that furby doesn’t really understand all that you say to it. It doesn’t seem to stop her when it comes to having fun and talking to her even though it seems to me furby is broken – or inebriated – it’s hard to tell which.

    She was given a few other things like clothes and some modeling clay, etc but the main event was the Furby. Without a doubt – it’s all about the Furby for Christmas 2024

    One advantage of our child wanting non popular toys is that I just had to click a button and it arrived at the door. I didn’t have to scramble to get the last Elmo or whatever toy of the year is. With the furby, this toy is so old it’s almost like buying a time machine when you turn in on and you can barely make out what the heck the thing is saying. In 1998 AI was just a dream and an idea for a bad movie and it was not replacing jobs that’s for sure.

    She seems to be happy with her dated and obsolete toy technology though and she talks to it and tries to feed it and give it blankets and there’s been no complaints about gifts so I’ll call that a win and call Christmas 2024 to be officially in the record books with one furby-loving five-year-old in bed asleep.

    Talk about win-win.

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  4. The Nigh Before the Night Before

    She didn’t want to go to daycare today.

    Then she got there and realized that not only did they treat her like royalty there that also most of her old friends were there too. She was greeted back like she was the belle of the ball.

    Bedtime was a bit of struggle because: excitement

    Tonight’s bedtime discussion was the meaning of Christmas”

    “Hey Dad, what does Christmas mean?”, she asked

    “um….love and family?” I replied

    “No. That’s Valentine’s Day”, she said.

    “Who’s Birthday is it?”, she asked

    “Santa?”, I asked

    “No, the other guy”, she replied

    “Oh, Jesus”, I answered.

    She asked some more questions about Jesus but I just avoided them because that’s not really a bedtime conversation to have as well, it’s complicated.

    I heard BW tell her to go to bed more than once so as I write this I assume she is asleep and dreaming of sugar plums and a Furby under the tree.

    Tomorrow’s going to be a long day. She’s home all day and by the looks of the weather outside, so am I. We asked her if she wanted to the watch the Grinch tomorrow but she told us she already saw it and she’s “good”. I have no idea what we will do all day indoors together.

    We are going to eat the surplus cookies we decorated for Santa because he’s not going to be able to eat them all and he’s going to need a little help

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  5. Cookies are Ready

    OMG you guys. The things they didn’t tell you about when you have a kid.

    They have a holiday break. You know who doesn’t have a break? Parents.

    I don’t why they don’t have school right until the bitter end. It’s not fair. The teachers are home living their best life while we have to take care of our own children. The nerve.

    Today is day 2 of what – 10 days at home? I don’t think I will make it.

    Thankfully we had a few cookies to make/decorate today:

    she had to have a little taste to make sure they were okay.

    That was just one thing we did today.

    Between BW and I we have done:

    1. Laundry. There’s always laundry.
    2. Looked at photos of when she was younger on the tablet
    3. Painted artwork. Cleaned up after painting
    4. Played tea party. Cleaned up the tea party
    5. Played “let’s pretend I am a cat”. I’m still not sure what this is all about.
    6. Read books. Put books away
    7. Played on tablet because, of course.

    I even managed to squeeze a nap in while she was on the tablet today and I’m still tired.

    This kid has too much energy.

    Thankfully she’s off to her old daycare tomorrow because, holy.

    And then just when you think you can’t pick up another ball or crayon or tea party set you find this while cleaning up after she’s in bed:

    And just like that, it’s all worth it.

    3 more sleeps!

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