Tidy Husband

Eligible for the seniors discount and the Happy Meal deal at the same time.

  1. The AAAAAAccent

    I should have seen this coming, but I didn’t.

    The child has a Western New York accent.

    It’s not like I have never heard it before as even though I’m a Canuck – home was only an hour away from the US Border. As kids would travel here often and go visit Fantasy Island and then stay at the now abandoned Holiday Inn. In those days Irv Weinstein was on the news:

    a fire guaranteed every night

    I grew up with Western New York as a neighbor so I didn’t really think much of the accent. Until I moved here. I was in the grocery store when I remembered hearing some woman talk and I remember thinking is that English? The accent was so different. I had never heard anything like that.

    I can’t throw stones because I come with my own accent, eh? I’m not bob and doug but when I talk about living in my hoooouse you know where I’m from. I thought my accent would have worn off by now and I think it has but I have definitely been told otherwise.

    How’s it going, eh?

    I really never thought that the child would have an accent. She’s around my Canadian accent and BW’s more American. Sprinkle in some Spanish she’s grown up with and I thought she would not have an accent at all. Eh?

    I could never be more wrong. Those are some looooong vowels coming out of her. I swear I can count seconds before she’s finished with the word. It’s almost like she has speech impediment it’s so…prominent. She could be a local newscaster if she wants to grow is all I am saying.

    I guess this accent is to be expected as she is schooled here after all – but BW mentioned it today and she’s right. She has a WNY accent for certain. I hadn’t noticed it until she pointed it out as the only other people I talk to are western new yorkers so the accent goes unnoticed by me for the most part now, but now that BW has pointed it out I can’t un-hear it.

    Next thing you know she’ll become a Bills fan.

    Then we will have to have the talk.

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  2. The Christmas Spirit

    After what’s been a very hard week with lots of misbehaving and whatnot, we have finally turned the corner and she was a joy all day today.

    I didn’t get out of the house in time before she got up so I ended up making her breakfast (making might be a bit of a stretch here – it was a PB sandwich) and having a cup of coffee before I headed out and there was no screaming as I was leaving which can be the norm sometimes

    Because she was up early she had time to fart around before school so I had her buried under 4 blankets on the couch and she was so excited as today she got to go to school in PJ’s and watch a movie at school and then come home and watch “shows” on her new tablet.

    Even the teachers are tired. They’re like “Screw this, let’s play a movie.

    She came home bouncing off the school bus wearing a coat that was 3 sizes too big for her, but she’ll grow into it. It’s a really nice coat. If the dog eats it, it’s getting put up for adoption – she has been warned.

    and her coat grew three sizes that day…

    She could not resist the snow and then she asked me if the snowplow had come because there’s no snow on the driveway. I had to explain weather to her and the grass is colder – or something – heck – she caught me off guard. Nobody warned me parenting would include pop-quiz science-y weather questions. I was not prepared.

    Of course, the big attraction of the day was the new tablet that she was finally allowed to watch tonight and she was great about it. She got off it when asked, and in return she got to watch it a bit after dinner. I do hope that one day she will get through her head that if she behaves then good things happen around here.

    Pizza for dinner (home made!) and then I allowed her a bit more time with the tablet and then off to bed without much complaint at all.

    It’s like Christmas came early (for BW and I anyway)

    5 more sleeps!

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  3. Three Wise Men

    I was thinking about these guys as I watched my five-year-old have another fit in the hallway testing the boundaries and failing miserably. She is still not listening and I have no idea why. It’s the same thing every time, she doesn’t listen at all and then has a full-on tantrum when the results are not what she wanted.

    While this was all going on it dawned on me what made the 3 wise men get out of dodge and go follow some star in the sky: It’s because they all had children at home. Probably screaming children. Multiples, I bet too.

    Think about it: Wise man number one (We’ll call him Larry) is at home with screaming children and he looks out the window sees a star. He figures he might as well go outside where it’s quieter to figure out where that star leads. It’s a lot quieter outside so he takes a few steps towards it.

    Then he realizes that the distance is further than he thought so he calls up his buddy wise man number 2 (we’ll call him Dave) and asks Dave if he wants to go for a walk. Dave replies OMG YES! Anything to get out of the house!

    Then Dave says “Let’s call Steve and see if he wants to come (wise man number 3) and of course Steve has a big family too so he’s in of course. He could use some quiet too.

    Great. Where are they going again? Oh, right – the star.

    So they started to walk to the star. As they walked away from town they stopped hearing the screaming of children and just heard the sound of their footsteps

    Then Larry thought that maybe they could get something as a gift – you know, just in case. “A gift?” Dave replied “What for?”

    “You know, just in case there’s a cover charge when we get there” replied Larry

    “What were you thinking of getting? asked Dave.

    ” I hear Frankincense is very popular this holiday season”, says Steve

    “I’ve got some gold in my pocket” says Dave

    “If we stop at the 7-11 I can pick up some myrhh” replied Larry.

    It was decided. After a quick stop for some myrrh the three would be off on a big adventure and to see where that star leads.

    Only God knows what they would find.

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  4. She’s the MLP MVP

    She’s a month away from six years old. Six!!!

    Want to know what (almost) six-year-olds like a lot?

    My Little Ponies (Yes, more than one)

    She came home from Christmas in Pennsylvania with more My Little Ponies than I have ever seen in my life at one sitting.

    The gateway drug. This is the first taste.

    You don’t become a MLP (because that’s what the cool kids call them) fan overnight.

    It starts when you find them on your tablet because your Dad is kind of slacking on the Parental Guidance thing so you can pretty much watch anything when he’s not looking because he’s old and doesn’t understand technology.

    Then you start to get introduced to the characters and how they all have magical powers and they are all a different color and they always seem to be able to use their magic powers to save the day every time. They are Magic!

    Only once you remember all the names and re-watch all the episodes and can recite the songs by heart is when you get admitted into the MLP universe. If you didn’t know, that’s a special club for MLP fans. Dad just has to send $19.99 and and stamped return address and I am in! I am so excited!

    Now that I know all the names and songs and I am soon going to be a MLP partner I can start asking Dad for my own MLPs’. Because you’re not truly a fan if you don’t have any ponies in your own stable.

    Like, Dad. Duh.

    Thankfully I received some early Christmas gifts and I received so many MLP’s I can’t keep track of them all. I think the dog might have eaten one but I don’t care because I still have some and Christmas is still coming and Santa might bring me more!

    Oh, how I love to sing the songs and play pretend and make them dance around on the kitchen table. Dad says I have to play with them downstairs or the dog will eat more, so I have to remember that. I’m down two so far.

    Also, the bigger ponies come with looooong hair that you can comb! It even comes with a cute little brush. (well, I had a little brush – because: dog). Anyway I love the little ponies and I am so happy to be MLP MVP!

    I hope there’s more MLP’s under the tree.

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  5. The Hangover

    Pop Quiz time! What happens when you party for days straight and then go on a road trip for 8 hours and get home late?

    You get tired! Really Really Tired!

    Want to know what’s grumpier than a hungover 5-year-old after four days of toys and excitement and too much sugar?

    Yeah, I’m not sure either. Pissed off Tigers? Monkeys, maybe? Border Guards?

    Anyway, I’m just glad I was not home when it happened because all I heard was your daughter was a dumpster fire and would not go to school and get out of bed.

    I’m still kind of in the doghouse due to the sweater incident yesterday so I just took the fall for this one. I know when it’s best to lay low around here.

    Long story short: She missed the bus.

    I’ve been telling the child for a long time that if she is late for school and misses the bus that it’s three “no fun days” (as they are called here) in a row. You will get on the bus.

    And until today she had a perfect score, and I can’t really blame her as she was exhausted and she just didn’t want to get up in the morning.

    As she was getting driven to school she kept on pleading with BW to “ not tell Daddy” because she knew she missed the bus and she knew it would not be good for her when she got home.

    But, I figured I probably had her worrying enough all day about coming home to me and that’s punishment enough. Sometimes the threat looming over her all day works just as well.

    We thought she would be a disaster tonight but it was quite the opposite. We talked about how it was OK to be tired but we have things to do some days and we have to get up when we don’t want to.

    Then we counted how many more sleeps until Santa comes and went to bed at a good time without fuss.

    We downloaded the NORAD Santa Tracker on my phone.

    We are ready Santa – Bring it.

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