Tidy Husband

Eligible for the seniors discount and the Happy Meal deal at the same time.

  1. Breaking all the Rules with Dad

    Mommy is away for the weekend. This is all we did the first day that she was away.

    1. Pancakes for breakfast
    2. Too much tablet time
    3. Too much TV time
    4. Have friendS knock on the door and come in and paint on huge piece of paper that’s glue to the kitchen wall.
    5. Make huge mess in kitchen

    Just another mess on the wall.

    1. Go to McDonalds for lunch. Eat 6 McNuggets, all my fries and wash it down with milk
    2. Go to Dollar Tree to buy more paint so when friends come over we have more paint to throw on wall
    3. Convince dad to buy me a salamander squishy toy (he’s such a sucker)
    4. Go to Tops and buy Panda Paw Ice cream for dessert
    5. Come home and watch Dad clean up the paint we left everywhere while I watch more shows on my tablet.
    6. Have Dad’s Hot Chicken for dinner. Dad says I have to eat all my brussel sprouts or no ice cream
    7. Eat all brussels sprouts.
    8. Ice cream for dessert
    9. Watch more shows
    10. Getting tired…can’t stay awake
    11. Get second wind and help Dad sort laundry. Dad said something about having to resold it all but I didn’t listen.
    12. Put on PJ’s and brush teeth
    13. Dad read me a story about Dinosaur jokes.
    14. Make Dad go downstairs and get me an ice pack. Dad got wrong ice pack so he had to go down and get the bigger one. You would think he would learn by now.
    15. Ask Dad to lie with me for a bit he does
    16. Dad says I can listen to my shows on my Alexa.
    17. So….tired. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

    This was the best day ever.

    Keep breaking rules,

    Tidy Husband and Co.

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  2. 57 Channels

    Just a short one tonight and we’re all tired and ready for bed. I’m also the lone parent this weekend while BW goes away to watch a football game of all things so it will just be the child and I all long weekend.

    That’s not what I wanted to write about though. I wanted to write about TV. I’ve never been a big fan of TV(computers, on the other hand) so it’s hard to believe I’m my father’s son as he had a TV in every room.

    The other day during the prime day on Amazon BW placed a few orders for things. Nothing exciting – dog food and soap. But all this stuff came in a big box. You know who thinks big boxes are the best invention ever? Five-year-olds!

    to some it’s just a box.

    Box arrives and child jumps in. Child wonders what we could do with the box. I tell her to make a TV.

    She doesn’t understand. That’s a box. TV’s are flat, she tells me.

    Well, back in the day when your father was a lot younger TV’s were shaped liked boxes, I told her.

    Then a lot of googling happened about old CRT TV’s. I told her there were only 3 channels if we were lucky. She didn’t understand.

    But we did make a TV:

    this one only has 3 channels too. Also one senior-sized remote control

    The channels on this TV are

    • Peppa Pig
    • SpongeBob
    • Something else, I can’t remember.

    This TV lineup is very similar to the one I watched as a kid:

    • Hockey
    • Happy Days
    • Flintstones

    Of course, our TV needed a remote control, so we made one that was just the perfect size for Dad’s failing eyesight.

    Today she came home from schoo and wanted to watch the “TV” again. I don’t have the heart to tell her it’s just a box, but I bet the shows she watches on it are awesome.

    Keep watching,

    TH and Co.

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  3. The Towel Warmer

    I had another post in the queue for today but that will have to wait because I want to share that it’s not all sunshine and unicorns. Sometimes it’s about the silliest things.

    Tonight’s tantrum was brought to you by the towel warmer.

    First, we are partly to blame here as she does not like change, and we changed it up and when you’re five that is not allowed. Stay on course, you, people.

    I was downstairs when I told BW that I would clean up if she wanted to get some PJs on the wee one and we can stop for the day as she’s fading fast. Deal, she said.

    On the way up to the bedroom, it was determined that we could not remember the last time the child had a bath or shower, and it was decided that one was needed.

    Cue the screaming. Again, don’t change things up on her. She does not like that. You would think we would learn.

    I come upstairs to see what is going on and she’s giving mommy a tough time and so I take over and make it a quick shower. A quick rinse of the hair and Hiney and we’re out of there.

    While I was showering her up, BW told her that she would warm the towel in the towel warmer for her.

    This is a Towel Warmer

    You too can spoil your family members for less than you think.

    Check Price

    We’re pretty bougie here to have a towel warmer. I always forget about it because the only place we can plug it in is in BW’s office across the hall from the bathroom. which is far from optimal. This means one of two things must happen:

    1. It becomes a 2-person production: One to do the showering, and another to get the towel. This is okay with BW and I because, well, you get the idea. This does not work if there’s a houseguest in the shower and unless they bring their own valet nobody else is going to get the towel for them and dry them off.
    2. I hop out of a perfectly warm shower and drip across the hallway naked hoping that nobody sees, and I don’t slip and fall on the wet floor. Then there’s the cleanup afterwards. It’s just not worth it for a warm towel. Too much risk for too little reward

    If we had one of those bathrooms that somehow the mommy bloggers are writing about or pinning to their Pinterest account I could see the attraction of the towel warmer, but we don’t.

    Back to the story: Child is clean, mommy grabs the warm towel and hands it to me and I proceed to wrap it around the kiddo. All good, right?

    Oh. No.

    She goes crazy! It was not good. There is red faced screaming and stamping of feet in the tub. We just wanted to get her to calm down because she was stomping and storming in a slippery bathtub and she still has a broken arm and we didn’t want to have to back to the hospital because she fell again.

    Despite our best efforts she could just not calm down:

    I WANT A WARM TOWEL!

    I WANT A WARM TOWEL!

    I WANT A WARM TOWEL!

    There was no warm towel. It was not coming. This is not the Holiday Inn. You’re lucky to even have the option of a warm towel, my child. This is the towel, and this towel gets colder the longer you scream.

    There’s no stopping her once she gets something in her head. We were doing great until we were not, and it all went sideways

    Like a lot of things, time heals all and over time she settled down and we got back to the bedtime routine because by this time she was exhausted and was practically begging for bed.

    I tucked her in, turned off the light and haven’t heard a peep from her since.

    Keep Warm and Dry,

    Tidy Husband and Co.

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  4. Field Trip Number 1

    A few weeks back we got a letter home with the child looking for volunteers to assist with their field trip to the Eco Island nature center that’s just a mile or 2 down the road.

    Because my schedule is flexible, I volunteered – not realizing on the day of the trip it would be cooler on the field trip date vs the day I volunteered. It was 41 degrees when we were waiting for the bus this morning.

    Of course, I overdressed because who likes to be cold. Anyway, once I got her on th bus I went to the school and helped get everybody sorted with name tags and on the bus.

    This nature park is a little museum with a pond and some lawn. Not the most exciting but okay. The kids had activities where they had to put their hand into a hole and guess what it was: bunny foot, leaf or a shell. Not too surprising one little girl was like there is no way in hell that I am putting my hand in there! And I really don’t blame her.

    We then went to another room to learn all about bats. Odd choice I thought but then I am not in charge of the curriculum. I read them a book about bats.

    Once all the boring stuff was learned we went outside where the teachers got very excited because outside there was a ….

    Red Tailed Hawk

    Red Tailed Hawk!

    We usually see the hawks flying in the sky looking for breakfast and not up close and personal, so this was a bit of a treat.

    It turns out that this bird is a baby hawk and does not have red tail feathers yet and they are currently brown but in a year her feathers will molt and the red ones come in.

    When asked if there were any questions, a five-year-old girl asked if it could swim? Good Question, I thought.

    A quick walk around the pond and we were ready to go back to the buses and back to the school.

    A Nice Day for a Nature Walk

    So, learning about bats and stuff was fun, and so was seeing a real-life hawk up in color but you want to know what the most interesting thing they saw was?

    Deer Poo

    The most interesting thing on the field trip was poo. Because everybody poops. Even Bambi.

    Now that’s nature.

    Keep Tripping,

    TH and Co.

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  5. Hey Dad!

    Here’s the scene:

    It’s after dinner, the dishes are done and we’re a bit early for bed. She’s downstairs in the family room playing alone. BW taps me on the shoulder and says to me “I’m going to bed – you’ve got this” Wait. What?

    Oh well. Whatever.

    I’ve got time for a cup of coffee, I thought

    3 seconds later:

    “Hey Dad – Did you want to color with me?”

    How do they know? As soon as you sit down, you’re the most popular person in the house. And don’t get me started if I’m in the restroom. They should change the name to “constantlybotheredroom” cause that’s what happens as soon as my foot crosses the threshold.

    So. I put my coffee down and she sits beside me and we do artwork together. I do the glue and she’s in charge of placing the jewels in the right place. It turned out great!

    E is for excellent.

    After our artwork we played some kind of hockey game with 2 foam paint brushes,wooden balls from her craft set and a Halloween theme cup. I have no idea what the rules were. Somebody won I am just not sure whom.

    Then it all went sideways. It took 2 plus hours to get her to bed tonight, and it was a struggle at that. We did the entire bedtime routine and then I went to write this post, and I can hear her upstairs in her bedroom screwing around instead of sleeping.

    Back up I go because she’s thirsty,
    and then the dog is in her room and she needs the door closed,

    Finally, she’s still awake so I go up one more time and lay down the law and turn off the tonies because obviously spiderman at full volume is not sleep inducing.

    Cue the screaming. A better parent might try to settle her down or even cave and put the effing spiderman back on just to get her quiet.

    Not me. She screamed “I want spiderman” over and over and I closed the door told her I loved her, and went for a well-deserved shower.

    When I came out of the shower she was asleep.

    I win.

    A quick update on the dental situation.

    1. It happened
    2. She was great. No fussing and just went with the flow.
    3. Teeth look great. See you in six months. 🦷

    Lastly, I’m celebrating a milestone of writing her for a month straight without missing a day. Granted some might question the quality of some of the posts over the last month but I’m proud of sticking to this every day for a month.

    We celebrate the small victories here. Thanks for reading!

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