Tidy Husband

Eligible for the seniors discount and the Happy Meal deal at the same time.

  1. Kindergarten is Hard

    I never knew that kindergarten would be so hard! And I am talking about for the parents – forget the kids. Tonight, BW went to the kindergarten open house at the school while I stayed home with the wee one. She came home with this tome you see below: a folder with tons and tons of pages.! I am not sure how we are going to get through this year. I guess we will just have to take it one day at a time.

    I never expected that I would be the one with homework when she started school. There’s so much to this parenting stuff. I had no idea.

    As I write this, I have 4 apps on my phone for her first year of school:

    1. Google Classroom
    2. Some Chat App of some sorts. I’m not sure how it works, exactly.
    3. An app to track the school bus
    4. An app to load money onto for lunch and treats. She gets lunch for free. Breakfast too

    In addition to all these apps I can also call or email the teacher or the school if I wanted to go “old school” like “back in the day”

    When I went to kindergarten I am pretty sure my parents did not have to remember all that. I’m sure they just dressed me up in the cheapest polyester they could find and pointed across the street to the school.

    My parents never had all the emails and apps and crap – you went to school and went home and watched after school TV. The End.

    Also: polyester is itchy. She doesn’t know how good she’s got it.

    Then there’s the lunch menu: The school sends home a lunch menu for the month and the child can pick what’s on the menu or have a hot dog or pizza. Of course, my little one chose the hot dog on day 1. We’re not parents of the year but she can’t eat hot dogs every day.

    So now we have to include an index card in her snack bag (not to be confused with her lunch bag, or her backpack – that’s 3 bags for those are counting.) that explains that she will have the menu item of the day and not a hot dog or pizza. I tried to explain to the teacher that she will eat what’s on the menu and that’s the blanket order – but no go – she wants index cards. It’s a good thing BW teaches because that’s the one thing we didn’t have to buy for the school year.

    Just when I think I’m getting hang of things I a get a panicky call from BW this afternoon that she’s stomping and screaming about the house about needing a Buffalo Bills shirt because tomorrow is “Bills Day” at school and of course one has to represent and fit in. (Sorry Al)

    Thank god for Target.

    It’s a little big, but now we have it. Today’s crisis averted.

    Once the overpriced shirt was acquired we were good to go and had a nice dinner with mango sherbet for dessert.

    And while the weather’s nice we went out and played some baseball.:

    She won. 6 to 4 was the final score.

    When BW came back from the kindergarten open house she told me that everybody already knows who she is because of her name, and of course – the braces.

    Lastly, she told us that she was in line in the hallway and asked a new friend to be her new best friend. This little boy agreed. Maybe kindergarten isn’t so hard after all.

    Until next time,

    TH and Co.

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  2. Kindergarten Boot Camp

    Today was her first day of school. Kind of.

    OMG Lockers!

    Tomorrow is the real first day of school and the real deal. Today, we practiced school. I got to ride on a school bus!

    She was sooooo excited. She didn’t want to leave when it was all over.

    Today was the day we brought all our supplies. Over $200 worth of school supplies! I thought school was taxpayer supported but I guess you pay one way or another.

    The classroom had cardboard boxes with pictures on each box so the child could place their items in the appropriate box. One box for crayons, one box for glue sticks etc.

    Once we were finished doling out our $200 worth of supplies she had to trace her hand and cut it out and then leave it on her desk. When that was done she had a photo taken and was given a huge lollipop.

    She was sent home with an ID card to pin to her dress so they know what to do with her when she gets to the school

    She has so much fun she didn’t want to leave!

    It’s all so new!

    Tomorrow, it all begins…

    I wonder if she’ll sleep tonight.

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  3. Shopping Until We Dropped

    8:am start.

    I heard our guests get up and brush their teeth, etc. but I stayed in bed for one reason: the child was still asleep! and let me tell you that doesn’t happen often.

    Also, it was the last day of summer and if there was ever an exuse to sleep in, then that was it fo me. As other notes will show my starts are usually about 6am ish so this was a nice treat.

    Of course, the first thing I did was to see how the floor in my man cave is doing and I have to say it’s pretty good. It looks and feels dry, but the problem is that it isn’t on the underside and I guess the floor has to come up and get replaced. I called the insurance company and they can fix it. I wonder if we should have put some other flooring down here? Something that we could just lift up easily if it got wet? We shall see

    Anyway, floods.

    Got up, had coffee and then we went to the Niagara Falls Outlet Mall because what else does one do on a Holiday?

    I shopped. I dropped.

    We went to take our guests primarily but we needed a new pair of back to school shoes for the little one so I took them all in the Chevy. She had a great time as we found a store that had nothing but candy and then if that wasn’t enough they also had some of those gumball machines full of crappy toys that are going to be pitched by later this week, but whatever.

    We found shoes that were reasonably priced. and went home for lunch.

    I called the insurance company for the insurance claim and then I took the folks on a drive to Lewiston NY where we went for a walk on the water and then we even found some ice cream for a bit of a treat. She had candy earlier, and now ice cream. I am taking donations for the dental fund now I guess. It’s a good thing school starts tomorrow because we are done with all the treats and rule-breaking we’ve been up to.

    Kindergarten, Here we come!

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  4. New Haircut Day

    Esperanza’s new haircut looks great!

    • She had a nap and then didn’t want to go to bed
    • $40 with Uber today
    • Booked an appointment for wills eye institute on Aug 21 at 1pm
    • Started the IRA rollover process
    • Played outside and got wet

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  5. All That Glitters is Green

    And red, and pink and …it’s just everywhere else. And I mean everywhere.

    The manual should have noted that when the child hits five years old and that they are of the female persuasion that they come with glitter. Lots and lots of glitter. Pink, Red, Green – you name it and I have vacuumed it up. Or more accurately – attempted to. I would guess that I will have her sent off to college and I will still be finding some.

    It started about or near Valentine’s day when she was tasked with making a cardboard box for her Valentine’s to come home in so of course we needed glitter. Lots and lots of glitter.

    Also we have pine cones – because it’s not a valentine box without a pine cone that has been fermenting in your neighbor’s yard all winter. It had to come inside – along with god knows what else. I don’t want to think about it.

    you need glitter glue to glue the glitter on the glitter box

    So glitter. It’s here. And over there and there and there.

    I thought I had dodged the bullet with the glitter and that would be the end of if but wouldn’t you know – they keep teaching her at school and I have to tell you it’s so annoying. The other day she learned about leprechauns (or leopard-cons as she pronounces them)

    She was tasked to make another freaking glitter box, but this time it would be a box to capture those sneaky leopard-cons, and by emptying the remainder of the contents of the glitter containers this is what we came up with:

    *note the skillful application of the glitter glue. You can’t waste a drop.

    this should work

    About the Leopard-Cons

    She was so so excited about the little green friends – it’s all she can talk about for days. We talked about how the little green buggers were sneaky and despite the excellent trap she had made they might still be a little tricky to catch. Because: oh I dunno…they don’t exist.

    Not one to burst her bubble I suggested they might get into trouble overnight and she should check the trap in the morning overnight. After she had gone to bed I sprinkled some coins and left a bit of candy bits near the “trap”. I know what you’re thinking: I’m Dad of the Year. Thank You.

    I might have been DOTY for the first night as she was thrilled to tell me about it the next day but then she asked me what I thought the green little friends would do the next evening while she was asleep?

    Crap. Now I had to dream up another “thing” that they can leave behind for the big reveal each morning. The first few nights I managed to dream up something…. I left some spoons near the “trap” one night or I made a trail of rolled up tin foil but I’m pretty sure I have painted myself into a corner with this nightly routine. It’s one thing to do it for a night or two, but as I write this I have another 2 weeks until St. Patrick’s Day! I’m not that creative – I mean what’s next? I thought about leaving some dog food out in a trail to the “trap”, but then the dog would just eat the food – s0 that’s out.

    I’m running out of ideas folks. Please help a guy out here. Also, we could use some more glitter – we’re out.

    Until Next Time,

    TH and Co.

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