Tidy Husband

Eligible for the seniors discount and the Happy Meal deal at the same time.

  1. We Went to the Buffalo Zoo!

    When I was in journalism school I was told the way to tell a story is to start with the most interesting thing first.

    And when you’re six the most interesting thing that happened to her today was the

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    Carousel! Oh, and we went to the Buffalo Zoo

    I coughed up five bucks for a two minute ride1 and she loved loved loved it. Yes, we saw animals and it cost well over $50 to look at some animals and the best thing in her world was a carousel ride.

    It gets better. The child found in a box downstairs some beaded jewelry and was wearing two of her finds today. A tween and mom walked by and this young girl was covered in beaded bracelets. I would not be lying if she had 100 on. Maybe it’s a fashion for younger girls, I have no idea.

    I mentioned to the child that look at all the bracelets that young girl had! She heard me and turned around and the tween opened her bag and gave a bracelet she made to my little one. This is the second best thing that happened to her today.l

    I was also a great lesson that it doesn’t hurt to be kind. Now it’s our turn to pay it forward in the future and do a good deed for a stranger.

    Oh. We saw a few animals and the rain stayed away. Also, this is the last event we have planned for her for the spring break. AKA: We survived. One observation is that she’s good for about an hour and a half-ish before she starts to tire out. The trick of course is to find that moment before it happens and not too late. It’s an art.

    Lastly, because it was a Zoo we did see a few animals:

    And then we went home. She wanted to stop at the gift shop but there was no way we were coming home with a $30 stuffed animal.

    We Have That at Home

    Speaking of not coming home with any crap, it’s because we already have more than enough stuff as it is. Today, I want to write about shoes. Because she walks on her tippy-toes she has to have not one, but two pair of shoes: one for when she’s in the braces and another when not. If you add crocs, rain boots and snow boots we’re looking at six plus pairs of shoes for her.

    But for daily drivers she has one pair that are two sizes too big so that her braces fit inside. I forget what they’re called: SFO’s or UFO’s or something. No matter. Then there’s the pair that she wears when she’s just out for a bit and the pain that is known as putting on braces and shoes is just too much for this tired dad to handle for one day. Let’s call these shoes the “screw it, let’s go” shoes.

    We don’t get her cheap shoes at Walmart because they’re fine but we need all the help we can get and the sketchers seem to work well and I find I can get both pairs for under $100.

    And then, just when you think you have it figured out then she grows and you have to go shoe shopping all over again.

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  2. Movies Make Me Cry

    Day 2 of no school here and we didn’t have any plans today except to rest and survive..

    Lego Spongebob and Patrick toys

    Photo by Artur Tumasjan on Unsplash

    My day started as usual with “Dad, Get Up!” only to find her on the tablet by the time I finally find myself upright and moving. I don’t know why she needs to have me there downstairs so she can watch her tablet, but there ya go.

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    10 minutes later I get the “I’m hungry” so I fire up the breakfast machine and make her some French toast. Then, back to the tablet because it’s not a school day.

    Later in the day about 2:00, all of the adults were 6-year-olded out and sick of playing pretend about something with flowers and a parade. The weather was not conducive to having her go outside to play so that left us with one option: Paramount+. We fired up the SpongeBob movie and left her to her own devices in the family room.

    When the movie ended she told me that “Some of the movie made me cry”

    I asked her if they were sad tears, and she said that they were the opposite: happy tears. I think it’s good that the movie made her cry as it displays that the child has empathy and god knows we need it for others right now who are not as lucky as we are.

    Then she went upstairs where she looked in the fridge for a snack and then said to me: Imagine if I could fit in the refrigerator

    This is why when it’s time to throw out your fridge for a shiny new one that you must take off the door. Little ones have thoughts about going into fridges and we don’t want them to get hurt. Consider this your safety announcement of the day.

    Later still she told me “I’m fully active”

    Tell us something we don’t know. Too active at times.

    We Have That at Home

    Let’s start this little feature with probably the most used thing she has in the house.

    It’s the tablet of course. Actually we do not let her use the table on school days so there’s that. Not that it makes me parent of the year, but at least we’re trying.

    The tablet: It’s the Amazon Kids 10 inch tablet. The MSRP of this thing is $189.00 but it’s often on sale for less so unless you need a tablet today I suggest you wait as Amazon always has this thing on sale.

    Shop Tablets on Amazon

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  3. Ice Packs and Dandelions

    The Ice Pack

    It’s cold here in Buffalo in April. 22 degrees this morning. That’s snow cold. in April.

    a close up of ice crystals on a surface

    Photo by erin mckenna on Unsplash

    But, as I write this, my little one is completely out of her night gown and happily asleep1 and curled up to an ice cold ice pack.

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    Yes, an ice pack. It doesn’t really matter what ice pack she has either. If you’ve got one in the back of the freezer for that one time you messed up your knee - that will do. As long as it’s freezing cold. The colder the better for her.

    We don’t usually hand her the knee ice pack and usually buy her some more kid friendly ones that are shaped like fruits and vegetables or something. (get yours now before the tariffs hit.)

    “My face is hot” she says to us almost nightly just at bedtime “ I need an ice pack”.

    So, I trudge downstairs for the umpteenth time today and go find an ice pack from the freezer to bring to my daughter.

    It could be 2 feet of snow outside and our poor little furnace hasn’t had rest in days trying to keep our house at a comfortable temperature and she wants an ice pack. Most kids go to bed with stuffed animals or a favorite toy, but I get the ice pack.

    Then what happens in the morning is when you go to make the bed and you have forgotten all about the ice pack only to find this squishy cold thing in the bed and it takes you a moment to realize:

    “Oh right - it’s the ice pack”

    The Dandelion

    I go outside and wait with her for the bus. Mom is smarter than me2 and just waves from the door but I don’t get such luxury of waiting for the bus in the warmth. It can be 20+ minutes until the bus is to show up and she’s all ready with her coat on looking like teenage mutant ninja turtle if they transformed into bright yellow bumblebees.

    ME? I’m unshaven in a hoodie and praying for spring, or heat of any kind.

    This morning was 22 degrees outside when we were waiting. It was cold. Not “cool” or “fresh” - it was cold.

    Anyway, because it’s cold and this is the time of year where we can have warm and cold days all in the same month we have started to have our daffodils pop up and it looks like they might bloom any day now.

    Of course, her first instinct is to pick them.

    “NONONO”, I yell.

    Your mommy will not be happy with you if you do this, I tell her.

    She understands and then she sees the dandelion at the front of the house.

    “How about the dandelion?”, she asks.

    “Sure, go ahead”, I reply.

    We then go on to have an entire discussions about how dandelions are grown, what they are and how the heck do they make more dandelions anyway?

    I explain about how they get white over time and then she blows them all over and those are seeds and they make more dandelions, etc.

    She thinks for a minute and then says to me: “I’m going to give this one to Mr. Dave”. 3

    I bet Mr. Dave was thrilled to have some soggy half-plucked weed from our front yard greet him held up by a six year old with questionable gift choices.

    Stay Cool,

    Tidy Husband and Co.

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    thank god

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    always

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    the schoolbus driver

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  4. The Fib

    a black rectangular object with pink text

    Photo by Elena Mozhvilo on Unsplash

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    We’re having a problem with lies here. Not BIG lies like she snuck out of the house and didn’t say but more on the lines of saying “yes” when asked if she brushed her teeth.

    This is called: Testing Your Dad

    She’s a horrible liar. Her face goes bright red, she gets this goofy look on her face and then right to my face she lies to me.

    Earlier this morning I asked her if she brushed her teeth.

    She peers her eyes over the tablet she was watching and looks me right in the eye and tells me “yes”.

    LIAR!, I exclaim.

    Then I ask if she would like to speak the whole truth, the simple truth. And then she caves and confesses that no teeth got brushed.

    It’s not that she lies that bugs me, it’s the fact that she’s the AGE to lie that I don’t like. My cute little two year old would not lie to me, but now that she’s six she’s flat out fibbing and it’s only going to get worse.

    Later today when she was in the bath, I told her to use soap and then when I asked later, the soap was in the exact same spot as it had been and she flat out lied again and told her I knew she was lying.

    “How did you know!?” She asked in disbelief.

    “Because I know everything” I told her 1

    I’m your Dad.

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    I don’t know everything but she thinks I do, so let’s keep it this way, okay?

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  5. The Kindergarten Show

    The Kindergarten Show

    Today was the big day.

    She had been practicing this for what seems like weeks and possibly months and after some confusions on her part with dates and calendars today was really the big day.

    She was excited, as she woke up and hopped into bed with us singing.

    I guess it’s a good thing to be greeted with song. I happened when the dog turned three so singing in bed is not an everyday thing here and that’s good. Daily singing would be a little much.

    I was doing my best trying to stay asleep but when you have multiple knees and elbows jabbed into your body it’s hard to sleep.

    So, I listened to songs sung in bed.

    The first was something about how small acorns make big trees. Another was something called “keepy uppy” and now that I have been to the concert this makes a bit more sense. They sang and there were balloons that they had to keep in the air. This also explains why she was dancing around the house singing “keepy uppy” and playing with our week old birthday balloons that are still kicking around.

    The concert was only about a half hour long if that and of course from our vantage point we could barely see her let alone photograph her from the nose bleed seats we were in. I guess you have to go to early to these events.

    She sang a song or two and did a great job. Then it was time for curtain call and the bows of close to 100 kindergarten performers. God Bless the Teachers.

    Maybe she will “keepy uppy” with the singing and we will have a performer in our midst.

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