Tidy Husband

Eligible for the seniors discount and the Happy Meal deal at the same time.

  1. She's Stinky

    What is that smell?

    We’re at a crossroads here.

    Photo by Lennon Kong on Unsplash

    On One hand:

    • she’s young and sings in the bathtub and plays for hours on her own
    • she still sits on my lap
    • she’s just six

    On the other hand:

    • she’s stinky. really, really stinky.

    I had her on my knee after school as we were looking at the Scholastic Book Catalog for her book fair tomorrow and I’m getting a whiff of something…not pleasant.

    At first, I thought it was the dog, but nope. The dog smells like a dog should

    There’s no way it could be her - she had a bath last night and used half a bottle of BW’s shampoo in the tub.

    But. There’s no way around this: my child stinks.

    Let me rephrase that: she stinks after running around in a big and probably-too-warm winter coat with hat and layers and after a full day of school that included physical education and a hot steamy bus ride on the way home.

    So after dinner - even though she had a bath last night - I told her she needed to do it again and this time use mommy’s real soap and wash herself well under the arms and any other parts that might need attention.

    I showed her how to wash her armpits by rubbing the soap on the washcloth and then rubbing her armpits well.

    Emphasis on the “well” part.

    She bathed and played in the overfilled tub for a good hour before she realized the water was last remotely warm a good half an hour ago because she’s so wrapped up in her ponies and the fashion show they were having tonight.

    After the bath and because we’re behind on the laundry after the holiday I put her in one of my old t-shirts as a nightie and as I was tucking her in to bed I gave her a good whiff and am happy report that the stink was temporary and she’s back to smelling like sunshine and ponies and unicorns and glitter.

    We now have kid friendly non-toxic deodorant on the way because I can only have one stinky dependent in the house at a time and the dog has that spot currently taken - everybody else has to bathe regularly and use deodorant.

    I have standards. They’re low, but they are still standards.

    Keeping it clean,

    TH and Co.

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  2. Thankfully, Home

    Because home is where the flu tests are.

    I’ll cut to the chase: BW has the flu. We realized it while sitting in a Denny’s.

    Photo by Karina G on Unsplash

    We were doing great on the way home. We were out the door before 9am and about 10:30 am stopped to charge the EV. We figured that it will take a good half an hour to charge for this part of the trip so we may as well go and have a brunch/early lunch.

    BW ordered the french toast and then started to complain about feeling a bit ill. At first we thought she was just cold because the Denny’s had no heat due to a renovation, but putting a jacket didn’t make a bit of difference.

    BW poked at her french toast, and the child ate very little at breakfast either. She usually loves diners so this was odd. We paid our bill, and left for the next leg of the trip.

    “I think I have the flu”, BW told me.

    “Nyeah, you can’t,” I replied.

    It turns out,oh yes she can and we have the positive test to prove it. When we were about 2 hours away from home the child started to complain about a headache and then the next thing you know she’s zonked out in the back seat.

    I’ve got 2 down at this point, and I’m the last man standing.

    When we get home, BW goes into the house and goes to bed. The child has seemed to perk up and so I plug her in to her tablet at home and then drive across town to pick up the dog.

    When I arrive, the dog looks healthy so I pack her into the car, thank the sitter and then go back to the house to unload the car of a week’s worth of food and gifts and somewhere in trunk were the spoils of our Costco run and that had to be put away as well.

    Thankfully, my mother-in-law (bless her heart), sent us on our way with some empanadas so I warmed them up, and tossed some veggie sticks at the child for dinner and called it close enough. Later she had a few grapes that helped me get through the night.

    The child perked up and except for being tired at bedtime, looks to be in good shape for school tomorrow and she wants to go because there’s a book sale tomorrow so it’s an extra special day.

    As I write this, I have a load of laundry going and the cars emptied with stuff put away for the most part so all in all not a bad night for us.

    It could have better, but we’ll take what we can get. We’re home safe and now we don’t have to do this again until next year.

    Today’s PSA: Get your flu shot.

    TH and Co.

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  4. In the Woods at Bedtime

    Different does not equal scary.

    I’m writing this from Grandpa’s house with a fully lit and decorated Christmas tree and a roaring fire and a hot cup of coffee in a home in the woods. A guy could get used to this.

    Photo by Rosie Sun on Unsplash

    But then - like always - comes bedtime. In an unfamiliar setting this time around.

    It’s not unfamiliar exactly as she’s been to GrandPops many times before but it’s not her bedroom with her mess and her room and her shadows on the wall with her Dad downstairs on his computer trying to fight sleep long enough to write.

    At GrandPop’s, theres a nice comfortable bed up in a loft and soft blankets and star globe nightlights. It’s the perfect home away from home. Much much better than a sleep hotel, I told her. Much Better.

    But it’s not home. And I get that. Travelling is fun and adventurous but like Dorothy said “ there’s no place like home ”.

    And we’ll be there soon enough, but for now I want to tell you about the squeaky floors at Grandpop’s house. They have foiled me 3 times tonight at least - I would get her to sleep and manage to crawl out of the bed and I get halfway across the room and then squeeeeekkk.

    “Daddy?”, she asks. I tell her to hush and then I go back to her and stroke her head some more and tell her it’s okay and she’s safe and sound and then just when I think it’s safe for another attempt:

    SQUEEK! Again!

    Those damn floors catch me every time. I blame all the pie I have eaten this weekend - I bet I could have made it out of the loft earlier this week when I was lighter.:)

    BW actually felt bad for me and came up as relief to finally get her settled and as I write this there’s still no sleep happening with the child. It’s been an hour and a half so far of attempts by two adults who by theory, should be have no problems with this.

    For those that are keeping score so far:

    Mom and Dad: 0
    The Child: 3

    It’s a losing battle here with bedtime tonight but not for the usual reasons of too much going on in the pretty little head like unicorns and glitter glue and whatever else goes on up there.

    Tonight, it’s just a different environment that’s the trouble but eventually sleep will win and she’ll be off dreaming of unicorns and glitter glue as planned.

    And I will have written yet one more time about bedtime. 1

    When it comes to putting kids to bed at bedtime in a strange environment, I have to say, I kind of agree with Dorothy.

    Watching where I step,

    TH and Co.

    1. I should create a summary one day. ↩

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  5. Hanging with the Turkeys

    Alternate title: Family Thanksgiving Dinner

    What do you get when you mix a little girl, a dog, a handful of senior citizens (present company included) a turkey and too many dessert helpings?

    Abuela’s homemade pie!

    Thanksgiving Dinner 2025!

    The child had one mission: behave at tonight’s dinner, and she did so with flying colors. I told her I was so proud of her tonight.

    She was so excited to be there and show off her matching outfit of skirt and sweater with her very first purse. Gold, of course and heart shaped. She was also very excited because the ladies stopped and bought chocolate coins for the purse because she needed to have money in her very first purse.

    You cannot have an empty purse - she can experience that later when she goes to college.

    When we got there she stood at the door waiting for the others to arrive so she could hand out a chocolate coin to each person that walked through the door.

    Let me talk about the behaviour. She was golden. Christmas was at a venue that’s designed for adults as the hosts have been empty nesters for some time. This means that they have a lot of stuff that is not really children friendly at all - so all week I have been reminding the child whatever you do - do not touch anything! There’s a lot of breakable stuff here and Dad’s writing income can’t pay for it, and won’t for some time

    She was the belle of the ball. She told stories, sang songs, sat nicely AND e ven used her fork at dinner.Her FORK!. I would not have believed it if I hadn’t seen it myself.

    She was on her A game tonight and as a result she gets to go see Zootopia 2 at the real movie theater tomorrow with all her favorite people here.

    Except for a bit of pushback about getting hair brushed in the morning, we could not have asked for a better behaved child today.

    Even Jack the dog was well behaved - This dog was amazing - with salami right at nose level on the edge of the table he did not touch it. Maybe he could teach me a few things about restraint as I may have had an extra helping of pie when I thought nobody was looking.

    As I keep telling her: If you behave, good things happen. It doesn’t matter if it’s her, a dog, or yours truly - the rule applies to us all.

    The diet starts tomorrow,

    TH and Co.

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